The Bad Boy [Carter Reynolds]

The bad boy (32)

I wanna comfort him back, tell him that it isn't his fault, and he doesn't have to feel guilty and doesn't need to cry. But I couldn't. I just couldn't. So instead, I just lay there on his body, crying.

Carter's POV:

The last few months have been like hell. Torture. I can't believe, I screwed up so bad. I haven't seen or spoken to her in two whole months. It felt like forever. The days passing by so slowly, without hearing her giggling voice, seeing her tomato face that always pops up when I say something funny. Or at least it's funny to me.

Those were the days man..

"Carter, don't you wanna eat dinner?" Mom comes into my room quietly, without me even noticing it. I was to distracted by the white, bold ceiling. Deep into my own lonely, thoughts. I haven't even noticing her opening the door. My gaze finally broke from the ceiling, turning my head to look at her worried expression.

She looked the same as before only that she always had an worried expression when she saw me. I told her many times that I'm fine. But the way I've been acting lately, anybody could see that I'm a piece of shit.

"No..I'm not that hungry" I mumble, quietly and stare back up at the boring  ceiling.

Surprisingly, she doesn't say 'okay' and go straight out of my room, leaving me all alone. Instead she just sigh and walks closer to the bed.

"I don't know what's been going on with you lately..but you need to eat" she says warmly, trying to make me feel better when she smiles weakly at me. She sits down on the bed, beside me as she looks at me with only a worrying, disappointing expression on her dull, tired face.

"I will not stop eating mom, you know that" I smile briefly. She smiles back. It was a quiet silence between us for a while until she broke it by saying something that surprised me even more.

"What actually happened? You've been odd for weeks now..and I don't know how I can help you, but if you don't tell me what it is. I don't know how I can help you Carter" she says. Her worried expression comes back and a little guilt build up in me as I see how concerned she looks.

I sigh and swallow the lump in my dry throat.

"I..I did something really stupid, and I don't know how to fix it" I whisper, trying not to look into her in the eyes.

"Is it about Maggie?"

Maggie. I swallow hard when I hear her name out loud. I haven't heard someone say it for a while. And it feels really..odd.

She was a big part of my life and suddenly she was gone.

I nod quietly, studying her face expression. She looks concerned and then she pulls off a warm smile. Sighing again, I take my gaze back to the ceiling and stare. For the forth time this day.

"She will never forgive me for what I did" I say quietly, sad. Like a puppy that needs sympathy. Like a beast that needs her beauty.

Then she says something that really suprised me.

"Do you really love her?"

My eyes widen a bit and the thought off it kinda scared me. It was like asking me for marrying her. But even if that was the question. My answer would still be the same. I do. I do love her. Even if I can't admit it for anybody. Hell, I can barely admit it for myself. I love everything about her. Her corky and weird attitude, her short tempered, her beautiful smile. It's nothing that I actually don't love about her. And it really breaks my heart how much, I love her and she doesn't even know.

I shift myself as I stare straight into my mothers eyes.

"I do. I really do" I say determinate. But feeling myself getting a little bit embarrassed. I'm never the person to admit something. Even if it was my mom. To anyone. I like to keep things for myself. But I had to say it out loud for the words to be true. Because it's true. I love her so much. I love her more than anything.

"If two people are meant together, eventually they will find their way back" she says and leaves the room briefly, leaving me think to myself.

Her smile slowly fades as she walked out the door closing it slowly. Letting me in a battle of my thoughts and confusion.

That's when the phone rang. Mason. Her name stood on my phone and I haven't seen it standing there for a while. I could hear her crying my name. Jumping off the bed, I immediately run out the door. My heart was literally pounding so hard I could hear it.

"I'm coming" I say when she hung up the phone. And then I ran for her. As fast as I could.

******

And in a heartbeat, I could feel her weight on my chest. Never have I felt so relived of being so close to her. My arms wraps around her tiny cold body, trying to comfort her as much as possible. Her perfume filled my nostrils. And the scent of her hair comforted me. Her face and makeup were all over her face. And her sobs was the most heartbreaking sounds ever.

I tried to make hush voices, while comforting her. All the pain she has been through because of me. I hate myself for not being in her life, when she needed me the most. I hate that, I didn't fight harder for her. I hate it, I wasn't there the moment she started crying.

"What happened?" I ask, still comforting her body. Her grip was tightly on my shirt as she cried harder. Getting everything out. Something really bad must have happen.

"G-Granny died" she quietly sobs into my ears. My heart breaks a little, as I make hush sounds. My throat gets dry as fuck, and I could feel myself getting nouchous. Feeling my eyes get a little teary, my voice cracks as I try to say something. Anything.

"I'm so sorry..this is all my fault. I-I'm such a bad person. I should have been there sooner. I should have fought for you harder. I should have been there for you when you needed me the most. Even if you never wanted to talk to me again. I still should have fought harder. I'm so sorry baby, this is all my fault" I stammered.

My heart was pounding like an earthquake. And I could feel the world spinning so fast, my vision get blurrier. I try so hard not my make my voice crack and stop myself from tearing up, but I can't.

She pushes herself slowly up with her elbows as she stares into my eyes deeply. Her brown soft eyes are red and swollen from all the crying. Still watery. And it breaks my heart to see her like this.

I take one hand on her cheek and swipe her tears away.

"Maggie" I say, slowly. Looking her in the eye for a moment before saying the words.

"I love you"