sick and tired | jaden hossler

crossing the line

jaden's pov

i know kaitlyn. i know her way too fucking well. i know that griffin isn't what she's worried about. yeah, griffin may freak out a little bit if we did date but i'm one of his best buds. he'd get over it. there's one thing that i've never done to a girl and that's break her heart. i would literally hurt myself if i ever hurted her.

yeah, everyone knows me. i'm jaden isaiah hossler. people on the internet don't see me as the ideal romantic type. they see me as some emo fuck boy who has zero feelings. the truth is, i have a lot of feelings and emotions. fuck, i tried to commit suicide twice.

back in high school, i dated this girl. i won't get into it but she broke my heart. i hated her at first too. i would bully her yet she still found attraction in me. i thought by dating mads then maybe i'd be fixed. maybe i wouldn't be so lonely and depressed inside of my head anymore. mads cheated on me just like malia did. i swear. i have no luck with girls who's names start with the letter 'm'. good thing kaitlyn is with a 'k'.

point is, a part of me always had a thing for katie. i mean, look at her. she's stunning. her brother is griffin johnson. literally every female drools over him. the thing i love about my katie is that she doesn't like attention. she stays off of social media. she doesn't crave attention from other guys and i fucking love her innocence. she's so innocent and it's quite adorable.

i love this girl more than anything in the world. it sucked being in love with her at first since she was and still is clueless as hell. she knows i have some feelings for her but what she doesn't know that i am completely in love with her. god, she's perfect. she isn't a whore. she dresses appropriately. she doesn't shake her ass or smoke. she's not some slut that sleeps around. she's perfectly katie.

i would do anything in this world for her. her beautiful grey hazel eyes, the way she scrunches up her nose, the small amount of freckles that dust her face perfectly like sprinkles on a cake, and even her small body. her frame hits like a glove against my large body.

i know she has nightmares at night which is why she only gets five hours of sleep per night. i know she pretends to hate mcdonald's but secretly loves it because i do. i know her favorite color has always been teal because her grandfather gave her a teal teddy bear before he passed and she hugs it every single night before bed. i know she blasts billie eilish when she's feeling depressed. i know her favorite movie is juno because she's obsessed with michael cera and loves to watch him run track in that movie.

i can make a dozen things about that girl. i know everything about her, more than griffin does. when she started dating cody, i was pissed, devastated even. i know that i had lost my one and only chance with her. i know she'd never leave him for me. why should i expect her to? i'm not good enough for her.

fuck, nobody's ever going to be good enough for katie. she deserves the fucking universe. her dad used to sexually abuse her when she was a kid. i know she thinks that i don't know but i know every fucking thing about her. i love her flaws. i know her secrets. she thinks i don't know them but i do. i love her. i fucking love her. kaitlyn elizabeth johnson is the love of my life. i will never stop loving this girl because she is the only thing that keeps me going.

god, i want her so bad.

nah.

scratch that.

i need her.

this is where i'm going to cross the line just so i can have what's mine.

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author's note

ok but who's excited about jaden's pov????

btw!!! i made a "she calls me daddy" reference in here. malia is from that book. that book is the prequel to this book. malia is jaden's ex from high school. i'm going to finish "she calls me daddy" since it's a short book and it'll pan into this book a little bit. if this book does well enough then i'll make a sequel!!

OKAY I GOT FUCKING CHILLS WRITING THIS HOLY SHIT MY BODY IS SHIVERING. I WONDER IF MY BOYFRIEND THINKS OF ME THE WAY THAT JADEN THINKS OF KAITLYN CAUSE HOLY SHIT IF HE DOES THEN IM FOR SURE MARRYING HIM.

well, i'm kinda getting married in eleven months. my boyfriend and i have been together for a while and we're moving in together in two months and then getting married nine months after that. i turn 18 soon so this is why we're doing it. i have a very toxic family and my home life is bad and so is my boyfriend's home life so we're house hunting rn. we're going to rent an apartment and i'm going to do youtube full time :). i just applied for youtube monetization so i can start making money in a few months! i'm super excited. hopefully i can also work from home. i have applied for a job that doesn't require me to go to work. i work on my laptop from home and this year i'm doing online school for my senior year so i'll have plenty of time to work! i'm excited ahhhhh.