The Dark Rose 🌹 {18+}

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'Grief can be a burden, but also an anchor. You get used to the weight, how it holds you in place.' - Sarah Dessen

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I haven't spoken in three days, hidden away in one of the bedrooms that occupy the small cabin which me and my brothers are temporarily taking residence in. I was hoping to be back in England by now but apparently it isn't safe to fly yet. We have the whole of King Aurélien's army currently looking for us.

I should have suspected that would be the case.

Aldéric's compulsion still centres itself somewhere in my being, making me yearn to return to him. However, I technically never escaped and went against his compulsion. My brothers took me, a kind of loophole if you will.

That's the only reason I can convince myself not to return.

I don't think he would want me to anyway.

He is most likely still angry with me, glad that I accomplished my will to escape him as I had him believe.

But no...

It wasn't him I wanted to escape.

If anything I wish he could know the truth.

But I can't think about him right now...

It's Lara's death that has me currently crying.

I curl up into a ball, resting my forehead against my knees as the memory of Lara's death consumes me. It's all I think about. The way she died right in front of me and there was nothing I could do to save her.

I was the reason she died. Because of me she was placed in a dangerous situation even after I promised her I would get her to safety.

I can never forgive myself.

The tears haven't stopped falling, my appetite none existent as I just lay here. Lara deserves to be here, not me. I would give anything to trade places with her, knowing she'll have the chance to see her sister again, to experience freedom again.

She didn't even have a proper burial and I doubt Luther was able to give her one.

I couldn't even give that to her...

"Rose." Paul opens the bedroom door, his head visible through the space as he searches the room for me, finding me curled up on the bed as I avoid his stare. "Please join us for dinner, it'll give us a chance to explain a few things."

I shake my head, using the sleeve of my jacket to wipe my wet cheeks, "I'm not hungry." I sniffle, hoping he'll leave it at that.

He doesn't...

"Rose I'm not going to let you blame yourself for that girls death." Paul says, walking towards me to sit at the edge of the bed.

"'That girl' was called Lara and she was my friend." I correct bitterly, my eyes snapping to his, "I promised I'd help her to freedom and I failed her. It is my fault she's dead."

"You tried to save her Rose. I promise you, that is the best thing anyone could ever try to do for someone. Please, don't let this bring you down." His words are beyond genuine, his voice soft as he looks down at me, my pain reflected in his eyes.