Drowning In A River of Denial

All Your Burdens On My Shoulders

ALEX 

Rylie and I had been sitting in silence for nearly 15 minutes now. It wasn't awkward silence, quite the opposite actually. It was comfortable silence.  I was sittng really close to her, her head resting on my shoulder, my cheek pressed into her bright hair. I could barely register how amazing she was. I'd known her for 48 hours and already she knew my most dark secret. I was never planning on telling anyone about that but Rylie was different, she was sweet. She probably wouldn't believe me if I told her she was already probably the best friend I had ever had. There was just something about her, she was different, special. No one had ever convinced me to skip class before but here I was. 20 feet up in the air with a girl who took my breath away.

I flickered my eyes to her hands for maybe the 100th time in the last 15 minutes. I'd been fighting the serious urge to reach out and take her hand this hole time. Just thank her for being so brilliant. I wanted to feel what her hand would feel like it mine. It was such an obscure longing but a longing all the same.

'Rylie?' I whispered into the silnce of the room.

'Mmh' she hummed

'I just wanted to thank you' I said

'There's no need to thank me Alex' she said

I sat up a bit and turned to looka t her, she did the same, I brushed a hair from her eyes.

'No, there really is' I insisted, she inclined her head slightly  to the side. 'Thank you for just being awesome'

'Well, it comes naturally' she said, brushing imaginary dust from her shoulders.

'I mean it' I continued  "No one's just sat with me like this and talked to me. I mean ever. Like, yeah, I'd talk to my lab partner about an assignment or my mum about girl problems but I've never had someone to just sit with and talk about everything. I've never explained the friend situation back in England to anyone. My mum doesn't know that all of my friends had left me when they found out. They just stopped coming over; she probably just didn't notice. If I had cried in front of them like I had with you, they would've laughed. They wouldn't have been supportive. I only cried today because I thought no one would find me. But I'm glad it was you that did. I've never had a girl friend that I could sit and talk with. Did me laying my head on your shoulder bug you at all?"

She just shook her head

'see, if I'd done that with one of my girl friends in england they would have just laughed and thought I was weird'

'You're not weird' she said with a smile

'I mean this when I say it Rylie but you're my best friend' I said, she smiled

'After two days I have a best friend, who would've thought' she said

'What about the guys?' I asked, she shrugged

'They're my best friends but I could never just sit and talk to them like this' she said, leaning back against the railings, I followed. She shut her eyes and I looked at her hand again, it was sitting on her thigh, her fingers drumming along to an imaginary beat. I slowly reached over to it, just as I was about to take her hand in mine the bell rang, I snapped my hand away just as she opened her eyes.

'Recess' she said standing up. Nodding solemly I followed her back down the ladder, she got to the bottom and hopped off though I lost my footing and staggered backwards, she grabbed me just as I was about to fall.

'Another thing you should know about me' I said 'I have a tendacy to be clumsy'

'We have that in common, dear Alexander' she said, pushing me onto my feet again. 'You have knocked me down twice remember?'

'Good point' I replied, following her from the room.

'Come on' she whined 'I'm hungry'

'I'm coming, I'm coming!' I said, laughing and following her towards the cafeteria.

'Hey fag' said a sneering voice from beind me, I turned to see a group of football jocks.

'Excuse me?' I said, brows furrowed

'You heard me' he sneered 'I heard your cute little song in the music department today, you write it for your girlfriend' he said

'Back off, Dave' Rylie said, suddenly standing in front of me.

'Leave it Rylie' I whispered to her 'It doesn't matter'

'Yes it fucking matters' she said angrily

'No one asked you loser' he told Rylie, I felt my blood boil as he called her that 'Look at him, he even dresses like a real fagatron' 

'Fagatron? seriously?' She said venomously

'Why don't you go cry to your mom about it emo' he said, Rylie suddenly snapped and her fist connected with his face. There was a sickening crack that echoed through the cafeteria. Dave stumbled backwards, hand going to his now gushing nose. Someone seized my hand and pulled my from the cafeteria.

'Fucking get them you idiots!' I heard Dave yell from behind me. I looked over to see it was Rylie who had taken my hand. Her warm, comfoting touch engulfing me. She was grinning as she ran, me barely keeping up with her. We kept running, though crowds of people and then finally through the front doors, we managed to lose them on the foot ball pitcches. We stood panting behind the bleachers.

'I can't believe I just did that!' she exclaimed excitedly, jumping up and down 'I've never stood up to them like that before! Did you see that?!'

'Yes, I saw' I answered in a low voice, still gasping for air.

'Oh Alex' she said, draping an arm across my shoulders 'The power you give me'

'You're most probably in deep shit for this'' I said

'She shrugged ''So what?' You're worth it''

''I'm glad you had fun'' I muttered

''You wanna get something to eat?'' she said randomly ''I'm starving''

I just gave her a look ''My treat?'' she said with a hopeful grin

''What are we having?'' I said, giving in.

''I know a place'' she said smirking and grabbing my hand. A smile finally appeared on my face.

~

                                                           ~

Rylie and I slid into a booth at a diner a few blocks from school. The place was pretty tacky, with bright red vinyl chairs, black and white checked floors and the waitresses wore rollerblades. It looked like it was taken straight out of Grease. Rylie was smiling as she picked up and menu and opened it. I studied her, her bright blue eyes darting across the page. I sucked in a deep breath and released it.

'Thanks Rylie. For sticking up for me that is'' I said, fridgeting with my hands ''You didn't have to'' 

''It's nothing'' she said, laying the menu flat on the table smiling at me. I picked up the menu, ice cream milkshakes, fries and hamburgers jumping out at me. I frowned at the page, not really knowing where to start.

''I'd go for the butterscotch milkshare, cheesburger and fries'' she said, I looked up at her.

''I used to come here all the time with my parents and my brother'' she said, I saw pain in her eyes ''not so much anymore''

''Oh okay'' I said and she ordered us both that.

''By the say, you're not are you?'' she said

''Aren't what?'' I asked, confused

''You know'' she said, rolling her eyes ''Gay? A fag?''

''What? No.'' I managed to get out ''Why would you even ask that?''

''Chill'' she said giggling ''I was only asking''