fix | han jisung ✓

Sixty-Eight

-

Its been a few days since the day with my father.

Never once did i think i would see him again, nor did i even think he was still alive. How could i have forgotten the three years spent with him.

Its been such a long time, i spent so much time in that foster home, gave up and buried things that i didn't even know i buried.

One thing i couldn't stop thinking about was what my father said.

He has a new family, which meant kids.

I have step siblings, that may know nothing about me.

And as much as I would love to know who they are, i have no way of contact with them, nor my father. He gave me no number or address, just that he lives in California.

"Y/n can we come in?" Felixs voice was heard from outside the bedroom door.

Since the day with my father, I've been couped up in my shared bedroom with Jisung, but though i share it with Jisung, he's been sleeping with Minho and if not Minho, Changbin.

He said he wanted to give me some space myself to think and relax with everything thats happened. The whole trauma with Mina, the coma, him and Hyunjin, Wooyoung, my father..

I was sure he had done this space thing for me, but the mention of him and Hyunjin slipping passed his lips was sorta mixed with agitation and tiresome. The words he had spoke to me sounded as he was backed into a corner and was holding his breathe, as if he hasn't been able to breathe at all.

Maybe he was the one that needed the space from me, but who could blame him.

I went from him to Hyunjin, stayed with Hyunjin but showed signs to Jisung that i loved him, lead him on and still stayed with Hyunjin. Every time Jisung and I get to a good spot, something pushes through us and destroys any good.

"Y-yeah." I reply from under my covers, eyes closed, body shielded from the world.

Felix opened the door, walking in with someone by his side. I couldn't see who it was, but by the sound of one person foot steps, there were more.

"Y/n, can you get of bed please... You need to come interact with everyone. Being closed off isn't good for you're health.." Nothing, all quiet, no reply.

"Y/n, come on. We all miss you, come downstairs with us. Seungmin and I are going to be baking some delicious cookies, Changbin, Jeongin and Bangchan are out buying some games, Woojin called off so he can spend time with us all.." His soft voice came out, unlike his very deep one. He placed a hand on my ankle that was covered by the blanket.

"Pl-"

"How can you guys want to spend time with me, I do nothing but bring trouble." I mumble.

"Y/n thats not tr-"

"Yes it is Felix. Mina was after me, which put everyone in danger and caused you're parents to be thrown in prison. Wooyoung died because of me, you spent almost a month in a coma and i broke Hyunjins and Jisungs heart. I came between two brothers and I cant seem to face either one Felix..." Without realising, i was sniffling. I didnt want to cry, but sometimes its just uncontrollable.

"Y/n..."

"Felix please just go..." Next thing I knew, my blanket was flying off of me, revealing the two boys in my room.

"Jisung.." He didn't show any smile, more like a sadden expression.

"Ill leave you guys to talk." Felix looked at my blanket he held, then at me.

"And Ill be taking this." He nodded, turning around strutted out the door.

"Aish, Felix now I'm cold." I muttered, bringing my knees to my chest and wrapping my arms around them.

Jisung noticed and turned to his bed, taking the blanket from there and wrapped jt around me.

"Just don't away from me." I hesitantly nodded, snuggling deeper into the blanket and already getting lost in the scent of the soft blanket.

"Y/n, I'm not upset with you. Neither is Hyunjin, heartbroken, yes but he still loves you and wants nothing more than for you to be happy. As for me.." He sat on the bed, sitting closer so we werent so far apart.

"I'm not heartbroken, I just wanted to give you space to clear your mind and make sure the decisions you were making were for you, your mind has been everywhere lately and I just needed you to be sure.." He went out for my hand, feeling the cold skin.

"Damn, you really are cold.." He grabbed the blanket and tightened it around me more, pulling me closer and hugging me.

"So are you?" He asked.

"Am I what?"

"Sure of what you want, who you want." I sat back, eyes focused on him.

"Yes." His smile appeared, widely and squirrel like. It was by far the cutest thing I've ever seen.

"Good, that makes me the luckiest and happiest guy in the world!" He stood up, mood now changed for the better and he pulled me up with him.

"Now before I kiss you, go brush you're teeth and take a shower." For once, that actually made me laugh. And i cant remember the last time i laughed.

-

Once out of the shower, I changed and brushed my teeth, feeling clean.

I stepped out of the restroom and saw Jisung laying in his bed. He was fast asleep and i couldn't not smile.

I went to kiss his forehead and cover him with his blanket, but before i could do that he yanked me down with him.

Hovering over me with eyes open.

"I thought you were asleep." He laughed, leaning down to kiss me.

Lips insanely soft and full of love.

"I was faking.." He breathed out, breaking from the kiss.

"But, i am kind of tired. Minho and Changbin don't know how to share beds." He layed on his side, snuggling me deeper into his chest.

"Lets nap." And thats exactly what we did.

-

Ayo, so since i graduated, i dont need to do online schooling, well if its still online next September then i will. But luckily atm i wont have to.

But my brother does, he just started freshman year.

And i have to wake up with him to help, and IM NOT HAPPY ABOUT IT.

like wtf, im not the one that needs to do 'school' right now. Im on my break. Let me be on my break.

I hated waking up between 5:30am - 6:30am. Now that continues. I swear, what would my family do without me.

But anyways, to everyone thats started classes, GOODLUCK and i hope you all study hard and pay attention! Try to find the highlights within all of this, don't be sad you cant ve there in person, just try and get through this and before you know it, you'll be back in class with you're friends and experiencing new classes and such.

Much love <3