The Battle of Our Minds: Flesh and Blood

Spread your wings, darling

"Everly! Angel! It's finally time!"

Rachel bounded through the house like it was Christmas morning, and Santa had left a million-dollar gift under the tree.

"Everly! The car is packed! Your dad is driving! We have all your stuff loaded up and ready to go!"

Everly squeezed her eyes shut. Her tears from the night before were crusty on her face. The screaming had stopped. The night terrors did not. Not that her parents knew. Everly's tan, freckled hands grasped the edge of her white duvet. She picked this duvet because it reminded her of a cloud. She thought that maybe if she slept in a cloud, the demons from her infected mind would finally leave her alone.

They didn't.

She tugged it over her head as Rachel's eager hollering reverberated throughout the house.

"GRUMPHURUGH!" huffed Everly. She grappled for her pillow and squeezed it around her head. Most kids are excited for college. Oh, the great unknown!

Not Everly.

Why does this have to be such an ordeal? It's just college.

She couldn't imagine why her parents thought she would want to leave the security of her home, the freedom of the fields, the cold splash of a creek, and even old Boomerang. He didn't even run away anymore. Her home was her sanctuary. She belonged in a place where she didn't have to see the dark creatures. She deserved to have what little peace she could maintain here. How could they want her to leave them? Didn't they even love her?

I know they love me. THEY DO. They just don't know. Maybe if they knew, they'd let me stay, she thought to herself.

Ever since Everly's last scream-filled night, at age eight, Everly hid what she saw in her sleep. She hid what she saw in public. The haunting looks her parents gave her was greater torture than admitting the truth. If they thought she was sane, maybe she could convince herself that she actually was sane, maybe.

Maybe if I pretend I'm asleep, Mom will think I'm cute and she will leave me alone.

Oh, wait. I'm way past the age of cuteness.

Time flies in the middle of nowhere.

Everly learned how to put on a front of being bold. She held together ever shred of dignity she could maintain with everyone in her small town thinking she's nuts. In her short, eighteen years, Everly's front became real, and she was truly a fearless individual. However, that fearlessness left her with a stubborn personality that swung in both directions. She would not be told what she could or could not do. Everly could hide her schizophrenia from her parents, but it'd be next to impossible to hide her night terrors from a roommate that slept in the same bedroom. A roommate could see tears rolling down the sides of her face when she should be sleeping peacefully. A roommate could see her twisting and turning, battling in the war against darkness that enveloped her dreams. A roommate could catch her, night after night, lying awake on her bed, unable to go back to sleep. In a worst-case scenario, a roommate could hear her screaming bloody murder if her screaming returns. With the presence of a roommate, Everly would not be able to display the daring personality that has become her identity.

After that last night with her father, Everly stopped screaming in the night. She wasn't quite sure what stopped the screams after that dark evening, but she was grateful. It felt like something supernatural intervened, entered into the place of her broken mind with her, and soothed her pain. And no, her pain was not completely gone, but she wasn't screaming. And if she didn't scream, she didn't need her parents. And if she didn't need her parents, maybe she wasn't that sick after all.