Nuebe
Lots of lots of emotions washed in me. Sudden and explosive burst of unknown and hidden feeling was what making my heart beat. I didn't want this. I didn't dream for this. This wasn't included on my list of things that I want to do. All of this happened in just a span of a month and more. I don't know if I should call this horrific or... blessing.
Being with a guy who can make a simple woman fall on her knees, this is so crazy, so overwhelming. Been asking myself. Did I already felt this alien feeling? Bakit masyado akong nababaliw sa simpleng galaw namin? Why is it that I feel so connected with him?
My closed eyes felt that fast beating of my heart that I never felt since before. My chaotic mind can't comprehend the things that are happening. I can't contemplate on the things that I am doing. Is this wrong? Is what we are doing immoral? A boss and maid. Aside from me, being a spoiled rich kid from the province of Bohol.
Things that are connected, they are not all perfect. Things that are destined, they can never have a perfect blending. Like a song that full of flaws, like a dance that need some improvements, like a poem that are dedicated to someone we are not sure about. All of it are not perfect. Not even the heart... of a loving person. So this... kind of relationship that we want, or maybe... I want. Would this be could call as immoral? Or hopefully unconditional?
What things or requirements should I present to all of them just to let us approve this boss-employee love story? Even the society can't let us run free.
We stayed silent at that night. Yes, it was. We stayed the way we are. Breathing heavily as our eyes closed, feeling this sensation we never had felt. Damn. I want to calm my heart but I can't. At this very moment, I have no control and I had to admit that I am letting this emotion win over than my practical thoughts.
His minty breath fanned on my face as mine fanned his face. Dahan dahan kung binuksan ang aking mga mata, pinigilan ko ang magulat nang makitang bukas na pala ang kanya. Nahihiyang nag iwas ako nang tingin. Here I am closing my eyes while his was... damn it! Nakakahiya!
His blue eyes that can make you feel and see the beauty of blue sea. The dark blue alive eyes that can hypnotize me, I was like looking straight at the deep blue sea from the unknown Island. Should I be careful from you... my love? You are so deep, like wave so strong, like a sea clashing with the rocks. Can I hold you... forever? Or not?
His two hands still holding and tightly embracing me. I feel the warmth instead of the cold breeze from the night wind. His touch brought warmth in me. It was like a blanket covered in me. I feel so secured and safe. When did I last felt this anyway? So nostalgic. I want to stay the way this is.
"S-Sir..." I called out, wanting so much to end this moment. I can't take this fully. My heart can't contain this all. This is too overwhelming. Even in my dreamy thoughts, I would still want to wake my logical thinking. I still need my mind and right decision making. Ngunit gusto kong matawa sa aking sarili. Ganitong sitwasyon nga, na malapit ito sa akin ay agad akong nanghihina, paano ko pa magagawang kontrolin ang kaisipan ko? It would be all useless. But who am I not to try?
"Call me by my name." Paanas na saad nito. Naibalik ko ang aking paningin rito. He is really insisting this thing to me huh? If the circumstances are just right and the things are well and normal. I would even flop in front of you, hug you, kiss you and shower you praises, if I have known you long. Maybe it would not take this way huh?
Inalis ko ang aking ulo sa pagkakasandal, muli nya akong hinapit ngunit hindi ko yun hinayaan. Nangunot ang aking noo, nakita nya yun kaya naman ay ngumisi ito. My actions are useless against his strong and powerful ones.
