Her Sun, His Moon • Zuko •

14 | A Promise

~ Ama ☾ ~

          A long and deep sigh escaped my lips the moment I trudged back into my room after a long, hot bath. Last night was traumatizing, but today just sucked all the energy out of me.

          Suh came back, eventually. She claimed that she just took a long walk and got lost in the city. But we all were suspicious of the claim. The thought of Suh just made my blood boil. For many reasons. Like insulting my culture and being involved with murder, just to name a few. But also because I hated seeing her with Zuko.

          I'd finally admitted to myself that I still had feelings for him and it was like I was diving head first into a jealous ex-girlfriend state. If you'd even call it that. The way she was able to wrap her arms around his waist and cuddle into him while he had to pretend to be madly in love with her made my stomach drop.

          Not like I'd ever express that it bothered me. Suh was still under the impression that Zuko loves her. Plus, can you imagine the embarrassment on my behalf. My friends have already been teasing me constantly about my jealousy since they got here and I wasn't about to let them be right about my dislike for her.

          In fact, I was still waiting for an apology from them. How I was right all along.

          Running my fingers through my damp hair, I eyed the katanas over my bed. The two blades were crossed to make an 'X' shape with the dark green sheaths over them to protect the metal.

          I hadn't touched them since placing them in the spot over my bed. I was scared to ruin them or lose one. Mulan always took such good care of her blades. Almost like they were her own kids. They were her pride and joy. I kept them to keep her memory with me. Remind me about what I fight for. And in the moment of anxiety and stress, I needed the reminder.

          Kneeling on the bed, I reached up on the wall and removed just one of the katanas. I carefully slid the sheath off, revealing the reflecting and clean blade. I could vaguely recall the feel of Mulan's hand over mine while she tried to teach me how to wield it. But I could barely even picture it. Just like how I could barely recall her face. It's only been a year, but I've spent so much of that year trying so hard to move on that she was starting to disappear from my memory.

          "No, gorgeous, you slice with a katana. Not jab." I could still remember her voice though. "And your grip is all wrong. Move it closer to the guard." She could pick up anything I did wrong. Every movement and imperfection was called out and then fixed, until I'd mess up again.

          I examined my tired eyes through the reflection of the blade. And when I thought of what I was fighting for, I didn't see the blinding smile of Mulan like I would before. But instead I saw the golden eyes of Zuko.

          A soft tug pulled at my lips and my stomach fluttered. Something about falling back in love with the firebender made me dreamy. It was different than we were 18. We were trying to hold together a relationship that neither of us were ready for. Now it was different. We were adults who knew ourselves better and ready to complete another half.

          A tiny knock sounded at my door, getting my attention. My eyebrows furrowed curiously while I turned my head to the door. "Who is it?" I asked loud enough for whoever was on the other side to hear. I was far too exhausted to get up from my comfortable position.

          "It's me, Katara." My sister's soft voice was heard.

          I thought she'd have gone to bed by now. Like me, she barely got any sleep last night and looked mentally drained all day. "Come in."