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ghost of you 02 | 5 days
calum pov
5 days.
it's been 5 days since i've last heard your laughter. your laugh was a rare thing. when you laughed, for just a second, the emotional and physical pain that i constantly saw in your eyes would disappear. in those moments, i could tell that you were truly happy. you didn't force laughter for things that didn't deserve it, when you laughed, it was one of genuine amusement.
it's been 5 days since i've seen those beautiful eyes of yours. i remember how you use to whine to me saying your brown eyes were boring and plain. whenever you said that, i'd simply tell you that they weren't. i never elaborated. i never explained and now i regret it. your eyes were my favourite part of you. the way they looked when the sun hits them. it illuminated every reflective detail within a crystal and sent the world into a frenzy with light and comfort. when you would smile or laugh they'd turn lighter and be bright enough to light up a room. however, when you were sad or angry they would get darker, they'd show the fire behind them or the tears you were pushing down and trying so hard to hide from me. all the pain that you went through was right there in those beautiful brown eyes. they looked so soft and sweet but held to much pain and sorrow.
it's been 5 days since i've last heard your voice. no matter how much pain you went through, your voice was always nice, warm, and full of emotions. it made me feel like heaven was flowing down to earth. when you sang it made me feel like i was on a high. you weren't good at it or anything but you looked so happy singing your heart away and that always brought me warmth. when you became angry though, that's a different story, you would always start cursing in italian. i never could understand your words but i could see the fire in your eyes. the words you spoke in italian were sweet but venomous at the same time, like a cupcake sprinkled in poison.
it's been 5 days since i've last laid with you. we use to stay up talking about our future, our past and our present. i would lay with you on the bed as the songs we loved played in the air acting like background music playing in a romantic movie. we would talk about what we were going to do once you became better. somehow we would always end up on the topic of marriage and kids. you always wanted to have children; one girl and one boy. you wanted to name them ellie and elliot after your best friend and doctor. we always talked about the future despite what people told us. we didn't care. we thought that as long as we knew we'd make it, we'd make it. we were so hopeful that everything was going to be alright. you'd then start to tell me the plans for our wedding in great detail. you said you wanted a simple wedding, with just some friends and family. you were so confident that everything was going to be fine.
it's been 5 days since i've last told you i loved you. 5 days since i've held you in my arms whispering in your ear how you meant everything to me. 5 days since i last saw that beautiful smile of yours that never failed to bring up the mood in any situation. 5 days since i've last touched you. 5 days since i've last felt your presence. 5 days since you left me. 5 days since you said goodbye and 5 days since i told you that you could let go. you use to tell me to be strong and now i know why, you knew that one day i'd need the strength to bear losing you. when you died, you left behind a void that can never be filled, a relentless ache that will forever follow me for the rest in my life.
but most importantly
it's been 5 days since you broke always and forever.
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authors note hi so this is the first chappie i'm sorry if it's bad. i tried my very best to improve it. i still can't believe i let y'all suck me into writing this.
what do you think of it so far ? ( please be honest )
