Oops! This image does not follow our content guidelines. To continue publishing, please remove it or upload a different image.
ghost of you 08 | how to save a life
ariana pov
as i watched calum leave the room to go and get some dinner, i couldn't help but compare the night to the state of my mind. just like the lighting and thunder, my insides are in a chaos. a mess.
something is going to happen, i can feel it.
it started with a small pain in my head, which is pretty normal, but with every passing second i can feel it start to become worse. it's like a crushing pain on both sides of my head that doesn't seem to go away. it made me want to pace about, i couldn't sit still, i couldn't lie down or relax. i hated it.
but now, the pain has progressed to my lower abdomen. something feels so wrong, so invalid but i can't tell what. however, i have a feeling that i know what's going to happen today.
the pain feels like there is a knife is being twisted into my stomach. erasing every thought from my head and paralyzing my body.
slowly i tried to get up but quickly realized how futile it was when i had to bite my lip to keep from crying out. sharp pain lanced through my head and colorful spots flashed in front of my eyes, it felt like my whole body had been beaten and every movement caused some muscle or bone to ache. regardless, i needed to get out of this bed. i need to get help.
wincing in pain i start to grab the corners of any surface i can find to help me pull myself up.
i just need to find doctor.
all i need to do is find a doctor.
i need to try and find elliot.
as i reached the nurses station, the pain was getting unbearable.
i could feel myself start to get dizzy and lose the colour from my face. it was as if my heart had suddenly stopped beating and all the blood had rushed down to my legs. i swayed for just a moment before falling to the ground
apparently seconds before i fell, i screamed, but i don't recall that part, i can only remember the pain. it couldn't have lasted long though, the screaming, because by the time the doctors and nurses arrived my speech could only come out in faltering gasps as i struggled to make my brain listen to their voices and respond.
i woke up to calum kneeling by me - he looked like he just ran a marathon - stroking my hair over and over, saying it would be alright with a voice that betrayed his tears.
as elliot started quickly explaining what happened. i could feel the pain again. but this time it was worse, it burned like fire.
black filled the edges of my vision and the only thing i could hear was my own heartbeat and the muffled voices of everyone. my breath came in ragged, shallow gasps. people swarmed all over me, trying to get me on a stretcher and to the operating room as fast as possible.
they were trying to save me. if i could have, i would've laughed. surely they could tell that it was far to late for me to be saved, yet they were like children, naive to the darkness of the real world. to tell the truth, i never wanted them to save me, it was just them i wanted to save.
as i laid back on the cold operating table, it was like my life flashed before my eyes and i finally realised that in the end it isn't dying that scares me but the pain it will cause others. if I don't wake up in the morning i will know nothing of it. however, i'll be leaving behind everyone i love. me and calum would never get to say i do in front of all the people we love. i will never experience that joy of watching my children grow up and seeing my daughter grow to be an independent woman or for my son to be a man as good as his father. that's what scares me. but now, i know what's to come, ready or not I have to leave this place for it is my time to go.
as i started to slip out of consciousness, the only person that i could think of was calum.
he was my first love, my first friend, my first everything. meeting him was fate, being his friend; a choice. but falling in love with him, was bound to happen. he was the one who painted my world. he protected me and kept me shielded form this cruel world . he is the person i would die a thousand times for.
when he walked into my life, i chose him, and i am willing to repeat the action over and over. a million times over.
i don't think anyone could ever feel or understand what we've been through both as a couple and individually. it is like we are a match made in heaven, without him, i feel incomplete. each time i look at him, i feel love and inspiration coursing through me. he are my saving grace that's came from heaven to fix me. he taught me to dream fearlessly, and love limitlessly, even though he didn't know what love is.
in my last moments, i'm glad that it's him i'm thinking of. i wish to spend a lifetime with him, every day i pray to god that he gives us more time. i need him by my side, intertwining his fingers with mine. since we met, we faced all the challenges that life has given us together, but now it's time for him to go on without me.
time of death 4.15 am
Oops! This image does not follow our content guidelines. To continue publishing, please remove it or upload a different image.
authors note i kinda only like some parts and the other parts make me wanna puke.
for those that are confused this is like arianas last moments. oh and the last part that is bolder is one of the doctors calling her time of death !
oh and by the way this is like the second last chapter :/
