Saltwater & Ink

30. Solitude *silentium est aureum*

   They had gone back to Inky's apartment, Thorn was quieter than usual, and now Inky could definitely tell that something was wrong. She didn't want to ask him too many questions about the Red Void- especially since he'd spent a year in that terrible place. She brewed some tea, waiting for him to speak first. Thorn stared across the room at the axe on the floor, the shrouded sculpture of the abomination still intact. He had a dark, haunted look in his eyes. "I don't know how I was able to come back- I started seeing you through the void- at my place, that night you were-" he gestured at the cuts she'd sliced on herself. Inky looked down, noticing that one of the scars was slightly visible above the neckline of her dress. "I tried to contact you, then- but you looked so scared- you ran away," he continued, taking Inky's hand in his.
"You were gone for over a year- I didn't know what to think- I didn't even think that you were coming back, Thorn." She stared up at him, at the blank, depressive look in his eyes. "A year? I- time is different in the void- I didn't think I was gone for that long. For me, it only seemed like a few months." Inky explained to him that the investigation had halted, and she'd lied to the people at the museum about where he actually was. So far, she noticed that he at least seemed to be sane- in a rational, functioning mindset.
   They drank their tea in silence, awkwardly staring at the floor. Inky was the first one to speak again this time, still trying to find the right words. Her thoughts were disorganized, and she wasn't sure how to ask him about the Red Void. "What happened to you in there?" she asked, trying not to pry but honestly curious. Thorn looked away briefly, as if trying to figure out how to explain something that was unexplainable. "Honestly- at first it was terrifying- the abomination was always there, watching me, taunting. It couldn't physically harm me, but I believe that its goal was to drive me insane. Remember- it's actually scared of me- since I have the power to destroy it."
   He paused, taking a drink of the herbal tea Inky had made for them. "After a while, though- it chose to mostly ignore me, and I was pretty much isolated with only my own mind to keep me company, my own dark thoughts. I thought I was going insane for a long time. I think that this was the way the abomination chose to torture me- leaving me alone with- everything- what I've done- that I've had to kill people, which I don't know whether or not I actually regret. I don't exactly know, Inky. I feel like I came back wrong, more broken somehow. It's hard to explain it, I'm not even sure how I managed to escape..."
Inky looked at him, the lost, forlorn expression in his dark eyes making her feel profoundly sad. "It's okay, Thorn. You don't have to talk about it anymore- I understand. At least, I'm trying to." Inky finished her tea, her studio suddenly seeming extremely claustrophobic. Thorn stood up, walking away from her to inspect the undamaged sculpture. "I don't know how I got away from the Red Void- if this damn thing is still here," he said, turning to face her again. "Let's get out of here for a bit- there's something that I wanted to show you."
They left Inky's apartment, and she drove out of town, as a temporary reprieve from the abomination. Thorn told her where to go, and soon they arrived in a strange, wooded location. Inky parked her car under a large deciduous tree, and followed Thorn through an overgrown path in the dense forest. After some time, they reached their intended location- an old structure, seemingly in the middle of nowhere. The old, abandoned building was cold and dark- it had been previously converted into a warehouse for art supplies in a past life, now it had been reclaimed by nature and graffiti artists- covered in moss, rust, and spray paint layers.
Inky stepped through the doorway, almost catching the sleeve of her jeans jacket on a sharp, protruding metal wire. "Careful," Thorn said, warning her of the various shards of broken glass bottles on the concrete floor below them. The interior of the building seemed to have a drop-off point, the stairwell leading to an ominous black pit in the ground level that led to god only knew where. He held Inky's hand as she hesitantly stepped around the broken glass and sharp, rusted scraps of metal littering the ground.
"Where are we going?" she asked, noticing that the room in front of them was completely pitch-black, and Thorn's eyes appeared to be an even darker shade in the absence of light- impossibly black, like obsidian. "You'll see," he answered vaguely, a slightly ominous tone in his voice- that if Inky didn't know any better- she would have felt threatened by. She followed him through the dark room, which smelled unpleasantly of wet concrete and rusted, metallic debris. If there was anywhere for the Red Void to open, this would be it, she thought. Inside, Inky knew that he would never purposely put her in danger, so she pushed the thoughts aside. "Thorn- it's too dark in here for me to actually see anything," she complained, tentatively feeling her way blindly along the damp wall.
"I know where we're going," he answered. "Besides- I can see in the dark." Inky walked carefully behind him, hoping that her hand wouldn't meet anything disgusting living on the wall. "Stop touching the walls- there's some sharp metal on that side," Thorn told her, almost as if he was reading her mind. Inky abruptly withdrew her hand, not wishing to have to get a tetanus shot once their excursion was over. Her other hand held on tightly to Thorn's, not wishing to be separated in this decrepit abyss. He led her down the stairwell, into the deep pit that had made her nervous when they first arrived here.
She could feel her heart racing, not knowing where they were going, the uncontrollable fear that had begun to creep through her mind once again. I trust you, I'm just scared, she thought, not wanting to admit it to him. After all, there could be literally anything waiting for them down in the darkness, whether Thorn thought so or not. Inky shivered involuntarily- this place was giving her the creeps, but she forced herself not to run, following closely behind him down into the dank depths of the building's sub-basement levels. Idly, she wondered if she'd been anyone else- if he would lead her down here to kill her...Inky almost laughed at the absurdity of the thought.
They traveled together down several flights of stairs, the darkness not abating. Thorn's hand was warm against hers in the chill of the dark building, and he was careful not to let her fall in the sightless depths. Soon they reached the lowest area of the building, the sub-basement level. Inky took her lighter out of her pocket, the small flame flickering to life and barely illuminating the room they were in. "Don't- put that away," Thorn told her in a serious voice. "Not yet..." Inky extinguished the flame, wondering why he wanted them to wander around aimlessly in the all-consuming dark of this strange place.
"Why are we here?" she asked, unsure what the answer was going to be- if he even decided to tell her. Thorn stayed silent, and Inky could hear water dripping from the low ceiling onto the bare concrete floor. "Stop asking so many questions," he said, sounding slightly irritated. "Sorry," Inky replied, unsure why he was acting so strange. They walked into the center of the room, the floor even impossibly lower at this point. Now more than ever, Inky wanted to turn and leave this place and its disturbing dark energy. Thorn let go of Inky's hand, and she heard him searching for something along one of the walls in the dark.
Suddenly, the entire room surrounding them was brightly lit, and Inky could finally see the details of where they were. There had to have been thousands of candles lining the walls- red, black, and white wax dripping down the sides, on the concrete floor in an abstract pattern. A panel of stained glass was set up along the farthest wall, so that when lit, the candles would glow through it- the design intricate, appearing botanical and with religious symbology. Dried flowers lay at the base of the stained glass, encrusted in candle wax- chrysanthemums, roses, and some that Inky could not identify. She stared around the room with a quiet reverence, taking a deep breath. No wonder he wanted to show me this place- it's beautiful...
"What do you think?" Thorn asked quietly, staring intently at her in the now-illuminated room. "I- I don't know what to say- this place is amazing," she answered truthfully. "Did you do all of this?" He nodded, looking away almost self-consciously. "I wanted to show you before the- incident with the Red Void," he confessed. "It looks better when all the candles are lit up, but obviously I didn't have the time," Thorn told her, absently staring at the stained glass panel. "I- liberated the glass art from an old church, when I was on one of my business trips." Inky looked around the room again, completely taken aback by everything.
In the midst of his work, the Red Void, and the murder investigations- he had taken time to set this place up- all to show her. "Anyway," he continued, "I wanted you to see this- I did all of this for you." Inky averted her eyes shyly, not knowing exactly how to react. "Thank you- I don't know what to say," she told him quietly. She knew that the time spent in the Red Void had changed his mind- when he told her he felt as if he'd come back wrong- more broken somehow- she refused to believe it. Everything he'd done so far, showed her- seemed as if it proved the exact opposite. Yes, he may have been forced to spend time with the abomination, the demons- but he had not become one himself, despite what he tried to say.
   "Your mind isn't broken, Thorn. There is definitely darkness there- but I don't think there's anything wrong with you. Hell, I even understand why you had to do the things you did. At first- I didn't understand. I won't lie to you and tell you that I didn't find it disturbing at first. Life is disturbing though- and my life is much better with you in it. I believe that we can destroy the abomination, or at least lock it away." Inky held his hand, staring up into his dark eyes. "I read everything you wrote in the Moleskine journal," she admitted quietly.
   "So I guess you know the truth about how I feel- how everything makes me feel," Thorn replied, no traces of anger in his expression. Inky nodded. "You told me that it's hard for you to feel anything- but I can feel your pain, the anger and frustration over what's happened to you, and I can see how you feel about me," she said, turning away awkwardly to light one of the red candles. "I already know that you were following me before we met- so that part wasn't disturbing to me. Your writing- I feel like I can connect with you, and you didn't even have to say anything."
   Inky wasn't sure how Thorn would react to what she'd told him, for the most part he seemed more quiet than usual. She certainly wasn't expecting it when he pulled her close, dark eyes searching hers for any hint of hesitation. "Thorn?" she questioned, feeling his fingers lock around her wrist. He leaned down to whisper in her ear- "We're going to try something different this time, I think." Then the whole room was dark again, except for the singular red candle Inky had lit. She could barely see anything in the room, their faces only slightly visible in the near-dark. A cold breeze drifted through the room, and the candle blew out, the wisps of smoke slowly disappearing as the room turned completely dark once again. "What do you mean?" Inky asked, feeling slightly nervous to be surrounded by the complete, isolating darkness.
   "Think of it as a sensory deprivation chamber," he explained quietly, voice seeming disembodied in the dark. "Most people can't handle the complete and utter lack of light- I've always found it...interesting." Inky knew that she didn't have an aversion to the dark, just the things that were sometimes hidden in it. "Besides," Thorn said darkly, "I won't let anything hurt you...unless you want ME to." He slowly traced the scar that Inky had cut over her heart, and she felt all of her other senses slowly becoming increasingly more aware. The room they were in was cold, but Thorn's hands were so warm against her skin. Inky heard a strange, faraway noise echoing through the darkness, and a sense of panic slowly rose to the surface. "What was that?" she asked, unable to see anything in the room around them. Thorn laughed softly. "There's nothing in here- just us. Trust me," he answered, running a hand through her hair.
   She felt self-conscious yet again, somewhat relieved that the complete darkness hid the expression on her face. She took off her jacket, and let the black dress slip down in a dark pool around her feet. "I trust you," Inky said quietly, a strange sense of acceptance coming over her. The dark part of her mind did not protest when Thorn wrapped one hand around her neck, she could feel her pulse rate quicken under his fingertips. Though the dark room was slightly unsettling, having him here with her after the year they'd been apart- the same feeling from before was ignited. "You know I would never do anything to hurt you on purpose," Thorn said quietly, his body pressing against hers in the dark, and though she couldn't see him- it was as if they'd never been more connected. Inky closed her eyes, the room was so dark it didn't really matter anymore.
   Whenever she was with him, all of the inconsequential parts of her life dissolved away- the part of her that always denied itself- fuck the Red Void- the abomination will never be able to keep us apart now... She shivered involuntarily- thinking of that terrible place that he'd been trapped in, combined with the way he was touching her- it was almost too much for her mind to process. He slowly traced one hand across her jawline, the sensation making her catch her breath sharply. Even though the room was dark, Inky could tell that Thorn was staring at her. He'd mentioned that he could see in the dark- was he aware of her reaction? She was sure of it- because she could feel the blood rushing through her body whenever he touched her.
   "Why am I the only one with their clothes off?" she asked abruptly, immediately wishing that she could take it back. "Oh, so you are- enjoying this," Thorn replied, sliding one hand slowly up the bare skin of her leg. Inky said nothing, the ever-present darkness  making everything more intensified. She was aware of her increasingly rapid heart rate, her shaky breathing, and how cold her skin felt under the warmth of his hands. Inky pulled him closer with shaking hands, until there was no distance between them.
   "You know- I did want to kill you at first," Thorn confessed, applying slight pressure to her carotid artery, "but I think you'll agree that this is much more enjoyable- for both of us." Inky bit her lip, feeling her face grow hot- either from his words or lack of blood or oxygen to the brain- she wasn't sure. In any case, she knew that this whole experience with him was somehow perverse, but she didn't care anymore. "Maybe you should have," she whispered, leaning against his hand, the lack of oxygen making her feel light-headed, her blood effervescent- but not at all in an unpleasant way. In fact, it was quite the opposite... "I don't think so," he answered, leaning down to kiss her. He moved his hand further up her leg, fingers brushing against the letter-opener scar on her upper thigh. Inky felt her breath catch in her throat- it had been over a year since they'd been together- let alone anything like this.
   Again she was immensely grateful for the darkness of the room surrounding them- because she knew that if she were to look into his eyes now, it would be impossible to look away. She could sense what his intentions were, even through the veil of darkness. Thorn removed his black jacket, laying it aside carefully on the concrete floor. Inky unbuttoned his shirt, slowly running her fingers across his bare skin. "I've missed you, Inky," he admitted quietly, helping her remove the unnecessary articles of clothing. Lying there in the dark room, naked and still, she listened to the water drip from the ceiling as he touched her, every nerve in her body aware of this moment.
   Thorn wasn't wrong- not being able to see anything in the room did add another element to their situation- right now it was as if the rest of the world had been erased, leaving only the two of them here in the dark together. "All I've wanted was to be here with you," he told her, his hand gently touching her face. Inky pulled him on top of her, his body heat feeling almost foreign against her constantly-cold skin. "This is all I wanted- for over a year, I've been going slowly insane trying to bring you back from the void. I love you, Thorn- no matter how damaged you think your mind is- and I'll never leave you- I promise," she said in quiet honesty, running her hands through his soft black hair. "I escaped that place because of you," he replied, fingers brushing against the small scar on her ribcage. She shivered, though not from the cold this time. Thorn always knew exactly how to touch her to cause an intense physical reaction. He trailed one hand slowly down the side of her body, and she inhaled sharply, sliding one leg over his back, keeping them locked together.
   If the abomination had been there in the room with them, and was able to watch them through the dark, it would have seen them here together, their pale skin pressed against each other's, the parallels of creation and destruction engaged in an intensely private act with the dark room around them as the sole witness. There were no prying eyes or demons to interrupt them this time, nothing sinister lurking in the darkness- not even a sign of the Red Void. With this came the realization that they belonged together, as long as they were with each other, challenging the things in the dark- their own various internal depravities were of no consequence. Thorn held Inky's hand, lacing their fingers together possessively. She could feel the warmth of his body transferring to hers, her skin no longer feeling cold, lifeless- especially now, lying here with him in the strange but wonderful place he'd created for her. She remembered him saying that everything was for her- even the dark atrocities- were for her sake. In return, all she could give was herself, her art.
   Inky felt their connection so intensely, she almost wanted to cry- however, that would be extremely awkward- if I started to cry while you're still inside me, would you get the wrong idea and think that you've hurt me somehow? she thought. You're back now- you escaped the Red Void that I helped to create- to be with me... Inky stared up at him, wondering if he could see the expression in her eyes through the dark. She whispered his name, pressing her body closer against his, running her fingernails gently down his back. His heartbeat mirrored hers, and this time she knew that the darkness in their minds could overcome the outside influences.
   I finally know how we're going to defeat the abomination. We can't kill it- and I've tried, failed to destroy it. Maybe one cannot exist without the other- the strange revelation slowly sank in to Inky's mind. There was obviously a reason that neither of them were able to destroy it- perhaps by destroying it, they would be destroying themselves in the process. Now it was clear- she knew what they had to do to stop the Red Void. For now, she focused on how it felt to be here with Thorn, after the terrible, long and lonely year they'd been apart. The black room was the same color as his eyes, which had once filled her with foreboding, apprehension- and now, the complete opposite, the parallels.