Saltwater & Ink

29. Roses & Devils *lupus in fabula*

   Standing still in the middle of her studio apartment, Inky held the black notebook filled with Thorn's dark writing like a sacred relic. I need you to come back- please return to me... She set the notebook down next to her half-empty glass- gin and black tea- it was early morning and Inky couldn't decide whether to be completely obliterated or obnoxiously sober. Her ancient record player spun idly in the corner, playing Leonard Cohen's 'Anthem' -the lamenting voice sticking in her thoughts. She felt vague vertigo, ignoring it for the thousandth time, remembering the words burned into her brain from the small Moleskine notebook.

THE BLACK PAINT
AND INK HANDPRINTS
YOU ALWAYS LEFT ON ME

BEAUTIFUL DESECRATION
-OUR OWN VOID

I DO SUPPOSE I LOVE YOU
IN MY OWN TWISTED WAY
THOUGH IT'S HARD TO FEEL
-YOU MAKE ME FEEL

YOUR EYES LIKE DARK NOVEMBER
EVENING, A STORM CLOUD
STARING BACK, UNAFRAID

-MISTAKENLY, I THOUGHT
THAT YOU WOULD RUN
WHEN YOU FOUND OUT.

I'M BROKEN, SO
SOMETIMES
I WISH YOU HAD.

Thorn's words were haunting- she knew that it was difficult for him to express any normal range of emotion- yet what he wrote- how he felt about her- it was almost too much for her to process. Inky picked up the axe, eyes set in determination as she stared down the malicious sculpture at the end of her studio. How she hated its presence- she wanted nothing more than to be free of its evil, ominous visage. The axe was heavy in her grasp, with her grey eyes narrowed, she walked silently across the room to face the sculpture of the abomination. She lifted off its drop-canvas veil, revealing the eyeless face. Backing up several paces, she lifted the axe toward her despised creation. FUCK YOU, YOU BASTARD! she thought, her only remaining rational thought being that if she were somehow able to destroy it, Thorn would be able to be free from the Red Void. Please god, let this work... Inky charged at the sculpture, axe raised in a focused swing above her head.
   However, as soon as she was within striking distance, the terrible pressure ensued and the force of the abomination's power threw her halfway across the room like a concussive shock. Inky lay on the floor, feeling broken- a disjointed ragdoll. The borrowed axe was on the ground to her left, having done no damage whatsoever to the sculpture. In frustration, she forced herself upright again, wincing in pain from the impact with the hard floor. This is going to be harder than I thought... she swung the axe at the sculpture again, aiming lower and more focused this time. Once more, the weapon stopped short of the sculpture, and she felt her body freeze involuntarily. How the hell am I supposed to destroy this thing? Inky wondered in bitter frustration.
   She attempted several more times to no avail before finally giving up, setting the axe aside in defeat. Finishing her drink, she stared out the apartment window, the brick building of the Gallery in the distance. She decided to go to her office, having procrastinated on yet another project. Most of the employees left her alone now, especially in the wake of Thorn's disappearance. Emma and Evan had moved to a different town following the deaths of Dani and Miranda, packing up and leaving with no further explanation. Inky was relieved to see her former friends gone, especially with her dissolving mental state and how they'd all treated her prior to this. Even Morris had accepted her false answers as to where Thorn had gone, and since there had been no new deaths, seemed to have given up on continuing the murder investigation. The other agents had left town as well, going back to their facility in D.C. -this was just as well, since it was increasingly mentally exhausting to keep lying to the authorities, pretending that everything was normal when it was quite the opposite.
   Inky walked the few blocks to the Gallery, feeling rather despondent about her job. Luckily nobody had really noticed her continuous lack of motivation, as she had finished several projects- the only benefit to the constant insomnia was that she could work all night on a project- rushing to get it completed before it was due. She unlocked her office door, noticing several letters on the floor that had been mostly ignored. She opened them- a myriad of random paperwork from some of the other art galleries, a write-up on the latest restoration project, and a bill for art supplies that she didn't remember purchasing. Inky set the letters on her desk, taking her laptop computer out to work on her latest project.
The early August sun shone through her office window, creating a prismatic reflection on one of the walls. Sighing, she opened up the computer, staring blankly at the screen. The words she'd written stared at her nonsensically, blending together. I just can't focus anymore- I'm surprised that they haven't fired me yet... she idly typed another paragraph, hoping that it made sense in her semi-dissociative state.
Hearing an unexpected knock on her office door, Inky jumped, startled back into reality. It was one of her former interns- a younger girl around 19 she couldn't remember the name of. Inky nodded at her to come in. "Nik- I mean- Inky- I brought you some tea," she stuttered nervously, peering at Inky behind round, black glasses. The girl held out the mug of tea, which Inky accepted gratefully. "Did you need something?" Inky asked, not quite making eye contact. "Um- I was meaning to ask if you could read my thesis paper- but you look really busy. Also- some weird guy was downstairs earlier- he, uh, left some flowers for you. No note," she explained quickly, adjusting her glasses.
Inky stared at her in shock. Some weird guy? she could feel her heartbeat quicken, trying not to get her hopes up. After all, she hadn't succeeded in destroying the abomination, and Thorn was still trapped in the Red Void. "Anyway, I'll send you a copy of the paper by email, and your flowers are downstairs near the first art exhibit. See you around," the girl said, turning to leave. "Wait," Inky told her before she could walk down the hall. "Thanks again for the tea. I'll take a look at your thesis when I get finished with this project." The girl nodded. Inky stood up from her desk chair, pushing the laptop computer aside. "This weird guy- the one who left me the flowers- what did he look like?" Inky asked out of hopeful curiosity.
The girl looked away awkwardly, as if mentioning the stranger made her uncomfortable. "Umm...wearing all black in the middle of summer, that was a bit strange-" she paused to inspect Inky's similar dark attire. "I mean- no offense," she apologized, looking embarrassed. "He looked like he hadn't slept in a while- really pale, and there was- blood- or something on his hands..." the girl trailed off, looking more unsettled by the minute. Thorn? Are you really back? Inky thought, not quite believing what she was hearing.
She shook her head, not wanting to appear overly excited by the news of his possible return. "You're going to be okay, right- he's not like, a stalker or anything?" the girl asked tentatively. Inky almost laughed at this partial truth. "No...just somebody that I never expected to see again. Thank you," she told the girl, truthfully meaning it this time. The girl nodded, quickly retreating down the long hallway. Inky packed away her computer and work papers, finished her tea, and locked up the office, walking down the staircase of the Gallery in a daze. She found the flowers next to the art installation as promised- strange light-pinkish roses with green-tinged edges, almost the color of skin. There was no note, but she noticed some small droplets of blood on several of the petals, and a small piece of red twine tying them together. Wait...
Logically, this could only mean one thing: Thorn had somehow managed to escape from the Red Void, and was back. Inky didn't know whether to feel relieved quite yet- something seemed wrong and she couldn't place it. He hadn't contacted her directly, so he must have just gotten back to their reality. She wondered why he hadn't come to see her in person, this was so vague. Maybe something went wrong, she thought, hoping that this wasn't the case. Inky left the Gallery, her work could wait another day- since technically she was on an artist's salary. This was one of the only reasons she remained working here- though the pretentious bastards constantly drove her up the wall.
She walked quickly down the street, awkwardly carrying her briefcase and the roses, eyes darting from one side of the street to another just in case he was watching for her. Part of her was in denial that this could even be happening- how was he able to escape from the Red Void when she was unable to destroy the sculpture? Perhaps even her attempts had proved to be worthy- because he was somewhere- in the real world- away from the Red Void and waiting for her.
Thorn was not at Inky's apartment, either- so she left her briefcase, put the flowers in a vase of water, and changed her work clothes out for a more comfortable black dress. I already look terrible from sleep deprivation- at least I can dress up a bit... Besides- the long-sleeved work shirt was stained with red paint and was far too uncomfortable in the hot midday sun. Inky called the museum, asking if they'd seen Thorn around, as she was pretty sure he was back in town. When they asked her why she didn't know- she lied, saying that he'd taken an early flight to surprise her, but that she'd been expecting him to return.
The only conclusion that she'd come to was that he might be at his building-but she had his phone- which had been shut off temporarily- so she couldn't call. She had his keys as well- unless he'd made spare copies. Something in her mind told her that he wouldn't be there either- but where could he have gone? Certainly not Tapestry- as both of them had grown to somewhat despise the place, especially considering what had taken place there a year ago. Where are you? Inky wondered, locking her apartment door and wandering somewhat aimlessly down the staircase. She certainly didn't feel like tirelessly searching- he had to be somewhere nearby- since obviously he had taken the time to bring her the flowers.
An epiphany struck her- the florist shop down the street- opposite from her apartment. He had always gone there before- obsessively buying those damn orchids- maybe she might find him there. Inky arrived at the florist's, which was more like a giant greenhouse- a museum of plants. She stepped inside- the humid air hitting her face in the already-hot afternoon. The crumbling, parchment-colored walls contrasted with the lush, exotic greenery and flora of the florists- a small sign inside the door read: Blumenhaus. She looked around in amazement- she'd never been inside due to her tendency to kill houseplants on accident- feeling guilt for any unfortunate one that happened to make its way into her art-strewn insomniac's lair.
There were plants of all types and species- she wandered through the relaxing atmosphere, eyes moving from the brightly colored tropical plants to the spiky desert-dwelling cacti. A metal windchime resounded eerily in the distance, and Inky looked up, slightly startled. In a room off to the right side, there was a brilliant array of orchids- all species and colors- brilliant pinks, deep purplish-reds, yellow, white, and Thorn's favorite: the white and dark maroon spotted ones that appeared to have been splattered with blood. Previously, Inky had counted at least five of them within the dark building in which he resided.
The sign above the room read: Der Orchideengarten- The Orchid Garden. Inky stepped through the threshold and into a seemingly alien world. This was the opposite of the Red Void- she felt calm, at peace, as if that part of her mind had been shut off, silenced. No wonder Thorn liked to come here- after all the hell he endured daily. This place is perfect... she looked up, the sun's rays gleaming through the glass skylight. The room was warm- the exact opposite of the void, and full of perfect refracted light. The scent of greenery, orchids, and moss lingered in the air. Inky felt herself slip into an almost dissociative state, like a sleepwalker. Everything is just so beautiful here, she thought, absently running her hand across a shiny, deep-green orchid leaf nearby.
In her trance, she almost didn't notice the dark figure watching her from the back of the room. Her mind slowly came back to reality, grey eyes focusing on the singular person, nearly hidden amongst the flowers. Speak of the devil... Inky almost thought that this was a dream, even in her lucid state. There was Thorn, standing there wearing funerary black, paler than usual and looking just as sleep-deprived as she was. She slowly walked towards him, afraid that her mind had actually snapped and this was nothing more than a hallucinatory fantasy. She remembered again his words to her- it's reality- don't convince yourself otherwise...
Thorn looked up at her, black eyes filled with a strange emotion that Inky did not recognize. An implacable feeling of hatred for the Red Void slowly rose to the surface of her thoughts- what had happened to him in the year he'd been trapped there with the abomination, all of the demons within? She shook her head in disbelief, trying to shake the negative feelings away- as if they could somehow taint this perfect place. "Thorn? I- wasn't expecting you. I thought that this was- I'm not even sure what to say. You've been gone for a year, and I wasn't even sure if you could come back."
Inky stood in front of him, trying to decipher the strange look on his face. It was extremely surreal being here with him amongst all the colorful flowers, though she knew that it was definitely reality. He stared back at her, the strange look only slightly fading from his dark eyes. "Of course I came back. You're haunting me now," he replied quietly, speaking the same words she'd said to him that first night they'd spent in the storm. You remembered...even after a year in hell- you always remember me. Inky stared up at him, eyes filled with unshed tears. No, she thought. I won't cry. I have no reason to now since you're back. She blinked, trying to dislodge the sorrowful thoughts from her brain.
Thorn handed Inky a slip of parchment paper, filled with his familiar precise handwriting in sepia pen. She opened the folded paper slowly, eyes absorbing the words he'd written inside.

YOUR MIND IS FILLED WITH
SUCH BEAUTIFUL DISSONANCE

I DO THESE THINGS
TO SPITE THE WORLD
DEVOID OF EMOTION
-MY RESTLESS THOUGHTS
COLLAPSING INWARDS
- A DYING STAR

YOU WON'T LET ME COMPLICATE
THINGS
-STORY OF MY LIFE

IN THIS OPERA OF NIGHTMARES
I DO NOT
FIND SANCTUARY
ONLY
SILENCE

YOU TOLD ME:

YOU'RE HAUNTING ME NOW .