Table Manners

Walk It Like You Talk It

I've been back in Seattle for 3 weeks now.

In T minus  31 days...and a half. I'll be in Paris with my besties, and mom. Watching my actual designs float down a runway.

Getting back into a routine was really difficult, I always had one established. I guess it just became out of whack when My life turned. Aka when A lot of my time spent went to being with Thomas.

I never realized how much time, revolved around him. We literally did everything together it seemed like. Showered, cooked, watched TV. Relationships really can consume you.

Robin and I have been consistent with keeping In Touch with the models, and seamstress. Her and I have been out to lunch twice. I've been hanging out with Monica, and Scotty. And I even drove up to see my mom. I've neglected her I feel like. But it was always nice to get her advice, and her cuddles.

"Hey boo," Scotty says letting himself in. "oh my gosh I'm so glad yo ass cookin. I wasn't tryna be hungry."

"Yes, come in, and you can actually help me after you wash your hands and remove those shoes."  I say pointing towards him with a knife.

He throws up his hands in defense and moves around the kitchen after removing his shoes

"So miss girl. How have you been since our last meeting."
"Oh you mean since last night? When we were wine drunk and twerking in your living room?"
"Chile I don't remember that." Scotty says fake moving his bang.

We both laugh.

"No but for real Alesa...I'm worried about you. Monte didn't want me to say shit...but bitch! Are you okay?"

I know why Monica didn't want him to say anything. I'm naturally just guarded. I'm a very "don't ask don't tell" Type. And even when you do ask. I'm still not telling.

"I'm great, my show is coming up, I'll be able to get myself into a new spot. A house hopefully. And-"
"Bitch cut the shit..." Scotty says as he stops chopping the onions.

"You know what I mean. You can't sweep this under the rug girl. You have to face your feelings! not run."

He was right and it was a bad habit I had. I felt if I masked  my feelings they go away. Keeping myself busy was my way of "masking". And I've been doing pretty well.

"You don't need to talk to him, hell or even think about him, but you need to realize what happened between y'all and come to terms with it. And I'm here to talk."

I nod my head at him in a genuine motion. I appreciated that from him. We hadn't known each other too long. But he was always so real, and upfront with me.

We eat, and gossip for hours. I asked him to spend the night with me. Something that him and Monte have been trading off doing for the past 3 weeks, because I'm not really super used to sleeping alone again yet. I made up an excuse and told them some creepy man moved in a few doors down so they've been staying with me.

Maybe it was another distraction?

"Girl I can't stay tonight. I need some dick."
"I'll buy a strap." I say quickly.

"Bitch I-" we both bust out laughing.
"You're a mess. You're very cute, but I don't like petite, or...women."

"Okay, well thanks for coming I'll walk you out."
"Okay, and call me Alesa I mean it. If you need me. I'll just sit on the phone with you." He kisses my forehead then leaves.

"And now I'm left alone" I say to nobody but myself.

I decide to take a bath, exfoliate, wash and deep condition my hair, do a face mask. Then I turn on the TV after I'm out and cozied into a blanket.