Yow! Hello humans! Since there is still no class and I'm simply lazying, doing nothing at home, I've decided to re-open a Critique Shop!
My old one is unpublished so don't go looking for it though lol.
Anyways, if you want to improve your book and...
Disclaimer: I'm not a professional. But I'm trying to do intensive research so I can be of help. Also, a warning; I'm very blunt at times.
Title: Tara, Humanap ng Jowa Org Author: MisisDaym Genre: TeenFic
Title
Nang mabasa ko ang titulo, ang una ko talagang naisip ay ang kikay n'ya, which is not a bad thing by the way. Ang expectation ko base sa titulo, is that this would be about highschool chuchu and that it is a highschool organization.
But then when I found out that it was a business organization, and is especially founded by old people, the title sounded a bit off. That's a kind of business name that only millennials and generation X would probably use. And I've never heard old people ever use the term Jowa.
Kung paano i-describe ang org., it seems na napakapowerful and mighty nito, but the title does not emit the same kind of power.
When making a title, org names or business names for your story, try to consider a few things like for example; If it's about teenagers, title such as that works really well. However, if it's a professional organization and it belongs to the faction of adults, dapat tunog professional rin ang mga ginagawa mong titulo.
Blurb
The blurb is really good and it does catch the readers attention. But there are just a few awkward sentences.
Oops! Ang larawang ito ay hindi sumusunod sa aming mga alituntunin sa nilalaman. Upang magpatuloy sa pag-publish, subukan itong alisin o mag-upload ng bago.
Oops! Ang larawang ito ay hindi sumusunod sa aming mga alituntunin sa nilalaman. Upang magpatuloy sa pag-publish, subukan itong alisin o mag-upload ng bago.
Oops! Ang larawang ito ay hindi sumusunod sa aming mga alituntunin sa nilalaman. Upang magpatuloy sa pag-publish, subukan itong alisin o mag-upload ng bago.
