Yow! Hello humans! Since there is still no class and I'm simply lazying, doing nothing at home, I've decided to re-open a Critique Shop!
My old one is unpublished so don't go looking for it though lol.
Anyways, if you want to improve your book and...
Title The title is great, and there is an air of mystery when you read it. I think it's pretty catchy as well.
Blurb
Oops! Ang larawang ito ay hindi sumusunod sa aming mga alituntunin sa nilalaman. Upang magpatuloy sa pag-publish, subukan itong alisin o mag-upload ng bago.
Since this is a paranormal story, I was quiet expecting to feel some mysterious vibes while reading the blurb. But it kind of sound like a comedy, especially this part here:
Oops! Ang larawang ito ay hindi sumusunod sa aming mga alituntunin sa nilalaman. Upang magpatuloy sa pag-publish, subukan itong alisin o mag-upload ng bago.
This way of describing is commonly used in the comedy genre.
There are actually a number of words that you can use to make your description of Felix, look more appropriate to the genre that you are writing. Also, when I read your blurb I also checked the tags of this story. As I've observed, the tags were really dark. But there's nothing wrong with the tags, it's just that, the blurb did not match the darkness and mystery emitted by the tags.
Prologue
The prologue was somehow interesting. You had an okay start, although it needs a slight improvement, but it's a little bit nice. However when I arrived here:
Oops! Ang larawang ito ay hindi sumusunod sa aming mga alituntunin sa nilalaman. Upang magpatuloy sa pag-publish, subukan itong alisin o mag-upload ng bago.
I feel like things are too fast. How the coffin was described is not done that well. I think you can say more things, and decribe it until an image of a coffin emerge in the minds of the readers, without you literally saying that it was a coffin, this early. The reaction of the miners is also missing a lot. Natigilan sila, okay. What else?
