The Magician || Jinkook

11. i

Jin

He's right here in front of me on the balcony. The image of Jungkook aligns perfectly with a distant memory of Satan and there's not doubt about it anymore. They're the same person. I can almost see the horns on top of his head and the clothes he used to wear everyday. It's not just a hallucination anymore, this is reality. I keep staring at him without blinking in case the image would disappear. I can't lose this moment. I'm so close to remembering everything. I can feel it in the back of my mind, but I can't quite reach it. How can I unlock it? I need some kind of trigger.

"There you go calling me Satan again," Jungkook says with an unsure smile. "Are you feeling alright, Jin?"

"Call me Seokjin," I demand.

"Uh, why all of a sudden?"

I get up and grab him by the collar and he's definitely intimidated when I stare down at him. My grip is harsher than usual and I know why. I used to be a warrior. A General of Heaven. My body hasn't forgotten the ruthless training I went through every day. My job was to protect my home from danger and kill any possible enemies. I'm not scared to use force if necessary.

"Say my name," I order again through gritted teeth. "Hurry!"

He blinks in confusion at my sudden change in personality but he can't refuse me.

"S-Seokjin."

His voice sounds so pathetic since it has no passion, but there's no denying that it's still Satan's smooth voice. It makes my legs weak from hearing it and I fall down to my knees on top of Jungkook. My hands shake as I hold on to his collar with balled-up fists and I feel the memories coming a bit closer. I can almost remember what it was like having Satan calling my real name. I need something more. 

I yank Jungkook upwards and press my mouth against his. He makes a muffled surprised noise and I know for a fact that the real Jungkook would never be surprised even if I kissed him out of nowhere. He'd probably laugh and fuck me right away no matter where we are. From the kiss I can at least conclude that his lips feel almost the same, it's just the scar that's missing. When I close my eyes it's as if I've been teleported back to Hell with Satan. My loved one. 

Eventually I get annoyed since Jungkook isn't doing anything to participate and I pull back with a sour face.

"Kiss me back. Or else."

"O-or else what?" he asks.

"Or else you'll regret it. I need you to be more aggressive. Don't just accept me threatening you, you pussy."

"I-I'm just surprised since this is pretty sudden and you're acting kinda-"

I shut him up my occupying his mouth again and thankfully his lips move a bit this time. I don't like taking the lead at all, but he gives me no other choice since he's so passive. I need him to take control and push me down like he used to. I want my memories back. As of now it's only vague ideas. I want to remember him so badly. I've waited eons for this moment and I need it to happen.

Jungkook is way too slow and careful, so I lose my patience and lie down on my back while pulling him on top of me. He holds himself up by his arms and seeing his face above me in the moonlight brings me back. We were out on the balcony just like this and he showed me the stars. For the first time he wanted me to kiss him back like I meant it and he tried his best being gentle with me. 

Gentle... The reminds me. He made love to me under the open sky in a grassy field. An illusion he created. I remember his blood falling on my face. 

A sudden raindrop lands on my cheek and it's as if my brain explodes. I can only sit back as my entire past life flashes before my eyes. 

"I'd like you two to go there and make sure everything is in order when the portal opens."