The Magician || Jinkook

21. g

Jungkook

Jin isn't very fast without his crutches but no matter what I say he refuses to stop walking. We're almost at the subway now. He's seriously planning on going back to his hometown just to prove it's not the cause of his delusions. 

We reach the stairs leading underground and I automatically offer a hand to help him, but of course he completely ignores me. He's still mad at me after all. Sure, I probably shouldn't have said the things I said, but I still think it's the truth. Despite that I don't want him to go back there. What if it triggers even more trauma for him? What if the people there recognize him and capture him or something? It's too dangerous. 

"Jin, please, you can't do this," I plead as I follow him through the turnstile. 

"I can and I will. Nothing you say will change my mind."

"But why? You don't need to prove anything to me."

As we walk out on the platform he finally turns to look at me. 

"Apparently I do. It doesn't matter what I try to tell you because you just won't believe me. My childhood is not the cause of my so-called delusions. I have to prove it to you. Maybe then you'll finally fucking understand I'm serious."

"Going back there is a bad idea, Jin. You could get hurt."

"I'm being hurt all the time when you don't believe me, so what's the difference?"

"I'll believe you if you don't go."

"You really think I'd trust such an obvious lie?"

"No, but it was worth a shot."

I've clearly upset him even more because he turns his back against me and stares out at the graffiti filled wall. Ugh, what do I do? Should I go with him? I don't want to go all the way there, much less get kidnapped by Satanists. I take a look at the timetable on the screen above our heads and the train will arrive in just a few minutes. My heart speeds up a little with stress. I don't want to just let him step onto that train. What if he never comes back? If his brain is filled with Satan, then maybe he'll want to stay with those other crazy people?

"Don't you at least find it a bit strange?" Jin suddenly asks.

"Find what strange?"

He looks at me with crossed arms. He wears a serious expression.

"You've experienced it several times yourself and yet you pretend like there's nothing strange about it. Satan lives within you. We both know it to be true. He came forth yesterday and that's why you didn't have any control over what you said or did. Same thing with all the times you've said you wanted to heal me. You know just as well as I do that magic like that doesn't exist."

"I'll admit those things were all very strange, but that doesn't prove that I'm Satan."

He stares at me for a while and it's difficult for me to know what's going through his head. 

"Alright then," he eventually says. "You can remain stubborn best you want, but I'll tell you the undeniable thing that proves that you're Satan: You love me."

My heart stops beating at the statement. It's not even a question. He knows. Oh God, how do I respond to that?

"W-what?" 

"You love me even though you don't really have a reason to. Ever since we first met at the bar I've been pretty much a dick to you the entire time. I threw up on your shoes, accused you of kidnapping me when you tried to be nice, trashed your bad fashion sense and just treated you coldly. Why would you logically fall for someone like that? I'm cute of course, but that doesn't weigh up for it. Why do you like me, Jungkook?"