Anastasia Romanov

CHAPTER VIII (NIKOLAI)

CHAPTER VIII (NIKOLAI)

The sky rumbled.

That was enough for me to get me out of my thoughts. He was still standing in front of me, hands lightly gripping my arms. I took two steps back. I averted my eyes away out of embarrassment. Placed my hands in my pockets and said "Let's get back inside. Nikolai might be looking for us, and it looks like it's about to rain." I walked past him when he replied "Why do you hate him Anya?" Hearing that question stopped me from my tracks. I decided not to answer him, and continued walking.

I found the back room in no time. Nikolai was standing by the window overlooking the garden. I forgot that this room has the best view of the outside. Although one can clearly see whether someone was watching them from the inside, it looked impossible, given that the windows were covered in dust and grime. Yet he was still standing there. Upon hearing my arrival, he turned to me.

"We might need to talk Anastasia." Nikolai said.

It was a great timing for Dimitri to barge inside the room as the rain heavily poured outside. There seems to be a problem with the weather these past few days.

"What is it that you wanted to talk about?" I asked. "I'll stay outside so that that both you can have your privacy" Dimitri butted. I was about to tell him that it wasn't needed, but before I could stop him, he was Ialready out of the room. Why does he keep on leaving so quickly?

The room was getting cold. But because there was a hearth, it was bearable. I took a seat, so did Nikolai. Even when he sat down I did not look at him. I kept on staring at the fire. Telling myself that if he would do something that I wouldn't even like, I can simple take a burning log from the hearth and hurl it at him.

"You must probably hate me. I don't know how to address you, and since were already acquainted with each other it would only be reasonable for you to despise me." Nikolai started.

I did not turn to look at him nor replied to his statement. So he continued.

"I was harsh to you and to your siblings back in Tobolsk Mansion when you were being transferred there. And for that I would like to apologize. It was true that I hated your fathers' regime. But it was wrong of me to take that hate out on mere children. I did not even wanted to hurt little Aleksei, but somehow I ended up doing so."

I balled my fist at the mention of my brother. Aleksei had a bruise on his arm for a good whole week. And it made him sick even more than before. This time, I turned to look at him.

"But even so. I never wished for that to happen to you or your family. When I heard about Ipatiev and the massacre that happened, a few of my men voiced their despair, saying that it was unjust for people to be killed unarmed. It was even worse since children were involved. The day after that happened, I was told to cover up their death, and make it look like that there was another party involved and that they were the one that assassinated the Tsar and his family. Your father stepped down from his throne, to protect you and your siblings. Lenin promised that in exchange of the cooperation from Nicholas, you all will be transported to Paris where your paternal relative resided. It was hard for some Bolshevik soldiers to safely escort you all to safety. I'm sorry Anya. I really am Nyuska."

Tears were falling down my face. They covered it up, and made it look like we were ambushed. Transport safely to Paris? When we left the walls of the palace, we were never safe. Mama had a hard time sleeping, and Papa always stayed up all night in fear that someone might come in our rooms. But the killing wasn't even silent. It was louder than any bomb dropped on that palace that day.

"They were defenseless. Unarmed and defenseless. You and this new regime can burn in hell than all I care. I will get to the bottom of this. I needed to know who ordered the killing and why it was needed to be covered!" I spat. I was already standing, fists balled on my side as I was staring at Nikolai.

"I was sent there to clean up the scene. Then I found this commander barely breathing. There was one body missing upon the assessment of some soldiers. So I asked him if whether someone survived the massacre. I silently prayed that someone did. I can't really tell who was who with all those bodies being burnt. He only muttered the word son over and over again. If we can't account the bodies before Krensky arrives, me and my men will pay for it with our lives. But then I found a crushed body under the toppled dresser. No one has a way of identifying the body since the face was deformed because it fell face flat with the dresser on top and there were bullet holes on its body. Since it was wearing the same night robe as your sisters, I assumed that it was you. The case was closed since then. But it looks like, Moscow will start to investigate all the rumors that's been going on lately. If they found out that you are still alive, they will look for you and make sure that you will only exist in books."

I don't know if I could trust him with all these confessions. "Why are you telling me these? Why are you acting as if I owe you my life? You are one of those men. What guarantee do I have that you won't sell me out to those vermin?! You might even probably be the one spreading all those rumors. Why should I trust you?" I spat angrily. 

"The moment that Kresnky and Lenin decide to cover up that horrible event, I knew that it was wrong. How the regime treated its citizens were disgusting, yes. But to turn a blind eye on an even greater wrongdoing is just too much. It was just pure evil and it was horrifying. I joined them because I thought that they would make right what was wrong. What they did was unlawful. You don't have to trust me now Anya, but trust Dimitri. As far as I am concerned, he is searching the same thing as you are."

Desperate as he sound, he was right. It was Dimitri that I should be putting my trust into.
"How did you even found him?"

Rather than answering the question, he smiled at me. I was about to ask him another question, when the doors of the backroom opened. Dimitri locked the doors immediately, turned to us and said "We need to leave now. Soldiers are inspecting the whole town, they -"before he could even finish his sentence. We heard a loud bang coming from the main hall. And the three of us froze on our spots.