The days i lost it all

22..

TRAVIS POV..
Every year after Danielle's death, I visited the cementary and would sit at her grave side till it dusk drew near, telling her everything that had gone on in my life for the year, making up imaginary scenarios of what could have been if she was here with me, telling her of my latest achievement and every other thing that seemed to matter to me..

This year I was taking Audrey with me, something in me believed she was going to stay around for a long time and I wanted to make the moments together worth it if I could but first she would have to me Danielle, she would have to know my story and maybe while she's here at the cementary with me I could renew my promise but now with a specific girl..

Abigail was the only girl who I kept my promise strong. I was going to protect her with my life, no harm would come to her as I had sworn yearly at Danielle's grave.. This year, I'm making it two ladies.

We stopped at her grave with her name artistically carved on it..it read.
RIP DANIELLE...   You can't share in our lives anymore and we also can't but we'll share memories for as long as forever..
I looked around, a few people were also here to say hello to their dead loved ones. I think it was kind of a ritual for them as it was for me.

"Who is she?" Audrey asked when we stopped at the graveside we were both standing side by side looking at the grave and saying nothing to each other.

"Danielle!.. she was someone who truly mattered" I answered.. I couldn't find a better way to describe her other than this, she was more than my best friend

"So sorry" she said..
It was obvious she didn't really know much about situations like this

"She was 14 when she died" I continued
"She was trusting just like you" I told her

"What'd you mean" she questioned

"You're naïve and that's fact, in your naivety you're trusting. It'll be easy to hurt you because you're naive and dont actually know much. You could easily fall prey to certain things not because your naive now but because you're trusting. The difference simply is Danielle wasn't naive, just trusting,trusting enough to be taken advantage of." I explained in the best way I could

"Ohhh" she said as she lowered her head

We sat down beside the grave. I had alot to say today.
"Tell me about Jesus" I said

"He's merciful and kind" she answered with obvious surprise in her face that I had asked such question

"How merciful?"

"Merciful enough to forgive all your sins" she assured

"Even murder?" I asked again

"Even murder" she said with reassurance in her eyes. She had learnt not to judge people and I'm so sure that was why she didn't ask me what I meant

I have been in and out of Juvy at the tender age of 14. I was held in juvenile detention and was obviously meant to spend a minimum of 10 years before being released back into the society but my dad had a very good lawyer and that had seen to my released.

"I was charged for felony murder at 14" I told her, a part of me wanting her to stand up and run and avoid me after this confession, to see me as a murderer just like my dad did or see me as a monster just like Danielle's family did.. I had killed their star, their genius boy who never disappointed and always made the entire family proud, I expected her to see me as unclean because her Jesus doesn't support things like this but she sat still, looking at me, disgusting the first information and waiting for me to say more.

"We're you acuused falsely or it was a mistake since you were charged for felony?" She asked

"It was deliberate, I did it deliberately, I was charged for felony because my lawyer had said it wasnt a deliberate act, that I was too young to kill someone" I explained

"You don't have to tell me about it if it makes you uncomfortable" she said looking at me

"I want to, maybe somehow you're what I really need, I want to trust someone, to be able to talk about things, I want to let this out...     I paused
Can I trust you" I said

"I'm ready to listen to you and I promise not to break your trust" she promised

"Danielle committed suicide because she was depressed, she was sexually harassed and assaulted by her cousin James. Seeing James everyday after Danielle had died angered me bitterly, I wanted him dead too, the fact that came over each day to console me and tell me that I'll get over it annoyed me the more, his sight was irritating, it was a wicked soul and didn't deserve to live... So one day, when he came over, I had the whole thing all planned. I couldn't shoot him dead so I simply poisoned his drink, he died when he got home. When the detectives  came over for investigation.. I told them I had killed him and they took me to juvy. My mum was devastated, she kept saying I was simply delusional because I was traumatized from Danielle's death.That was my lawyer needed to defend me and that was how I got out of juvy after community service cause I had a clean record and all. My dad doesn't seem to have forgiven me, neither has Danielle's family and neither have I.. I want to badly believe I had done the wrong thing but then I dont feel any remorse for killing him, I just hate myself because I'm a murderer.. It'll always stick,no matter what" I concluded.

No one has ever known this, not even Seth. No one even knew I had been to the Juvenile detention center ever in my life as an inmate, it was all hush-hush and quiet because of my dads reputation and Danielle's family didn't want much attention directed to them by the court and all.

"Jesus loves you, Travis" She said taking my hand in hers and holding them.

The words came with peace, with reassurance, with comfort. A certain burden had been lifted off me and I could feel it. Maybe she was all I needed. Maybe this was all I needed.
We stood there for a little longer, neither of us wanting to break the peaceful silence that has grown. We shared this silence where alot needed to be said but didn't have to be said cause it was no use.
Funny how we tend to go from strangers to an important part in someone's life in few weeks.. Life was funny.
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So did you expect that or I totally whipped you off!😂

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and just in case youre having problems and issues or a hard time... remember
JESUS LOVES YOU...he always will