Drarry Angst oneshots

The Stages of Grief

A/N Hi! I am back with an idea for a oneshot, majority of the credit for this chapter goes to whichever amazing and talented artist drew the above picture - it's a masterpiece! Emotionally draining to write this 😅 so sorry for the long wait.. ALSO disclaimer, some content is derived from the book - as in same sentences. AU Harry and Draco are dating, and instead of Sirius Black at the department of mysteries, it's Draco....

DENIAL 

Harry Potter, the boy who lived, the supposed vanquisher of Voldemort could only watch in horror as his boyfriend Draco Malfoy was knocked backwards into the veil of death, mouthing "I love you" as he took the blast meant for him. He screamed, a sound of pure agony. Rushing towards the veil, he was held back by his friends Ron and Hermione.

"Let me get him! Save him, let me go! Please!"

Hermione looked at him, sadness entrapped in her deep, brown eyes.

"He's gone, Harry. He's actually gone this time."

Ron chimed in,

"Yeah mate, it's too late, you're only going to kill yourself."

Tugging against the arms that held him back, silent tears running down his face throughout the battle with Voldemort, throughout the apparition back to Hogwarts, he cursed himself for even believing Hermione. Draco couldn't be gone! His beautiful, amazing boyfriend couldn't be gone! It was just too surreal, this was only a dream, he would wake up shivering in Draco's arms, and he would be there to warm him, to say that he loved him, to kiss him. His other half couldn't be gone, especially after he proposed to him only a week ago! He-he simply couldn't just be gone like that! 

ANGER 

The tears continued to run down Harry's face as he stood in Dumbledore's office, his hands balled up into fists as he vigorously rubbed at the stupid tears on his face that wouldn't stop flowing, red-hot emotions welling up inside of him. No, it wasn't fake, this was happening, it was real, Draco was dead, he was gone, Harry would never be able to touch him one more time. 

Dumbledore stepped forward, calm, cool collected expression on his face. Suddenly Harry just had this-this URGE to rip him apart, shake him, hurt him, break him like Draco's death had hurt him, to make him feel a tiny FRACTION of the pain that he himself was experiencing. He lost not a friend, but the most important thing in his life - Draco, who he was going to marry after all this was over! Dumbledore took another step forward to comfort him.

"Harry, suffering like this proves that you are still a man! This proves that you are still human, grief and pain is part of being human -"

Harry's eyes were full of pain, sorrow and anger all at once. He  unleashed his magic in all his fury as he yelled - no, roared words which were embedded with his emotion.  

"THEN - I - DON'T - WANT - TO - BE - HUMAN!" His magic lashed out once more, a swirling storm surrounding him that lifted up papers, scattering them all over the office, making the paintings shake. Angry tears dripped down his cheeks, his face set in a feral snarl. The somewhat offended portrait of Armando Dippet shook his head, letting out an unremorseful "Really!".

"I - DON'T - CARE!" Harry yelled at them, green eyes glowing with a crazed gleam. "I'VE HAD ENOUGH, I'VE SEEN ENOUGH, I WANT OUT, I WANT IT TO END, LET ME JOIN DRACO, I DON'T CARE ANYMORE!"

If Dumbledore was fazed by Harry's words, he didn't show it. He kept his face calm and impassive, as it was since the start, and reached a hand out to him, all the while speaking.

"You do care. You care so much you feel as though you will bleed to death with the pain of it."

The crazed gleam was still present in Harry's eyes as he went wild in his anger, in his grief, in his fury, screaming so loudly he thought his throat might tear. The wind whipped even stronger around him, snuffing the fireplace out and tearing books from the shelves.

"I - DON'T!" he screamed once more. "I - I - DON'T!"

Dumbledore just stood there, a wandless Protego protecting him from the debris that was now swirling in the wind around Harry.

"You do care. Nothing you say will truly deny Draco's death, Harry. You do care."

The words were accurate and hit home. Harry immediately collasped, the weight of events and his grief and anger bearing upon him.

The world went black.

BARGAINING

The months passed, but Harry's pain over his fiancé's demise never lessened. Giving fake smiles and a "I'm OK" to anyone who asked how he was coping, he read all there was about the veil, and was constantly in the library trying to find loopholes to get his Draco back, burying his sorrows by reading all there was on the veil and ways to make spirits come back. One day, he approached Nearly Headless Nick, smiling a genuine smile that hadn't been seen on the lad's face since before Draco died. 

"People can come back, right? As ghosts. They don't have to disappear completely, right?"

Nearly Headless Nick sighed, knowing what he wanted.

"....He won't come back."

Harry's spirits were slowly sinking, but he held on to the last shred of hope he had with all his might, because, it wasn't possible, no, Draco would come back! No, he couldn't be gone, no!

"Who? Who - who won't come back?"

"Draco Malfoy."

And with that, Harry's face crumbled, giving way to the broken boy who he was inside. Lowering his head, reality finally crashed down, the fact that no, Draco was NEVER coming back. Never again would Harry be able to touch him, talk to him, kiss him, hug him. He ran back to his room, a trail of silvery tears marking his way.

DEPRESSION 

The scarlet blood slowly dripped its way down Harry's arm - or at least the shell of Harry. Deathly thin, with a sickly pale pallor to his skin that contrasted with his bloodshot pupils, white scars from where he cut, and sticky, scarlet blood dripping down his skin, he looked a sight. In the private room Dumbledore gave him, empty firewhisky bottles littered the floor. He put his blood stained razor into a small, metal jar, slumping onto the bed, staring aimlessly and wishing, wishing endlessly that Draco would come down and comfort him like he always did when Harry was down. He slumped down on his bed, feeling empty and alone inside, curling around himself like he always did now to mimic the feel of Draco hugging him as his sickly body shook with sobs. 

And so the Boy-who-lived isolated himself from his friends, his teachers, the world. For the first time in his life, Harry Potter was truly broken. He picked up a sharp, serrated knife and raised it to his heart.

"I'm sorry. I can't save you all. "

And with a swift, quick motion, the knife was jabbed into his chest, the blood flowed out, and the boy who loved was gone. Easier than falling asleep, he died with a smile on his lips.

On the 29th of July, Harry Potter was reunited with his soulmate Draco Malfoy, and he was, at long last, happy.