Badboy's obsession| Jimin ff

20. Chapter

"Hi, can I ask you were park Jimin is?" She questioned coming up to me.
"No, sorry he hasn't been here all day." I answered, wondering why she was looking for him.
"If you see him, can you tell him his wife is searching for him?"

I swallowed hard. His wife? Since when were they married? It felt like someone just cut out my heart. I hated this. Why did I have to be so dumb and believe him? Why couldn't I just forget him? I wished to have never moved here. Yes, i wouldn't have met Nayeon and Jennie,but sometimes the pain is so strong, that even the best moments aren't worth it.
"I'll tell him." I brought out, trying my best to fake a smile.
"Thanks." She said before going away.

More and more tears started forming in my eyes. I decided it would be best if I wouldn't cry Infront of all these people, instead I'd go into the restroom. I didn't want any of these people to question me, or my life.

I locked the door as soon as I entered, before breaking down to the floor. Was I that bad of a human? Wasn't I good looking enough? Wasn't I nice enough? Why did he betray me like that? Why was I his prey for this stupid game? Did he place a bet on me? I was a crying mess, thoughts running through my head. Why did I deserve this? Minutes passed by, yet this question didn't leave my head. I wish it would. Now it didn't feel like someone cut out my heart, but more as if I was the someone. I was the someone at fault for my pain. I was the one who got myself into this mess. It was no one else's fault than mine. I was the problem and not someone else.

I slowly stood up, my whole body trembling. I was freezing. It felt as if I just died. I looked into the mirror, seeing my whole make-up ruined. I was pale as I've never been before. Does it always end that badly? I looked at my features. If I would have dated myself, I would have left me, too. I'm weak, vulnerable, ugly and have a bad personality. There was nothing good I had. Why was I born with this small height? Why was I born with this body? Why was I born with this face? Why was I born with this personality? Why couldn't I just be like every other human being? Why couldn't I just be more normal? At least a bit more fitting for this society? Or why couldn't I at least be strong.

I looked deeper into my eyes.
"Why can't you just change?" I said to myself through the mirror.
"You could do so much better! Why are you here crying? He's not worth it! Why can't you just cry for one night and forget about him? Why are you who you are?!" I screamed at myself.
"I wish you were never born."
"Everything would be better,"
"So why don't you just kill yourself?"
"You wouldn't have to bear the pain. You'd finally be free. Free from this world, free from pain, and free from Jimin."
That was actually a really good question. Why was I still living? I hated earth and I hated myself, so what was I still doing here? There was nor reason for my existence left. I had nothing, but sadness.
Yes, I was happy before, but I forgot how to be happy. How can you be happy, when all you're feeling since days is pain? How does happiness feel again? Was that the reason for my existence, to find the answer, surely not. Then what was it? Why wasn't I just jumping down the rooftop?

I was sitting on the floor, for hours, not making any move, nor crying. I was like some kind of statue. Like I was dead, emotionless. I had cried quite a long time before entering this state of mind. Everything I could hear, see and think of was the same question, over and over again. Why. Was. I. Alive. I didn't want to kill myself, but I wanted to die. So what was keeping me from fulfilling the last step, I wondered.
This whole time, I've been looking at the same white wall. It somehow became the most interesting thing in the world. It was blank, i wish I was blank. I wish I could erase all the emotions I had. If only he could feel the pain I was feeling right now. I wish he would, because then, he'd maybe regret it. But even if he'd regret it, would I still get back together with him? He broke me and I don't think I can forgive him for that. Never.

Suddenly, the door flung open. I didn't have time to look up, before the person hugged me.
"Thank god nothing happened to you" I could hear Jennie's voice. A sad chuckle left my mouth.
"Nothing physically." I whispered.
Jennie parted our hug and looked me in the eyes.
"What happened?" She asked concerned. I bit my lip.
"I found out that Jimin had a..... a wife." I explained, sobbing. To say it out loud was ridiculous. It sounded so ridiculous. Jimin having a wife in highschool and dating a nobody who's parents are friends with his for what reason? Was he perhaps a sociopath? They think life is a game and what he did was playing a game with a human. Me.
"I'm so sorry. He's not worth your tears. I know, it probably hurts right now, but I promise you, the pain will go away. You just gotta have to be strong right now. Nayeon and I are always there for you, so feel free to talk to us whenever you like. And about Jimin, I'll try keeping you safe from him. Although I doubt he'll try anything after what he pulled." She comforted me.
"Thanks." I replied.
"Thanks for always being there for me."