Just Let Go

Hudson

Fuck..how can I sleep when I blatantly lied to Darcy. I roll over and flick the switch on my bedside lamp and glance at my phone, 1.33am. Groaning, I roll back onto my front and shove my face into my pillow. This is karma for you right fucking here. She didn't need to know about Wednesday, despite what ma thinks. Darcy is too fragile for my fucking issues, I didn't want to lie but I didn't want to see an ounce of hurt or worry on her face either. I know she's getting better, she's getting more brazen and more open every day, I point blank refuse to be the person who makes her creep back into her shell. I would be back here Friday and she would never have to know, until the same day comes around next year..but who knows, by then, I may be fixed? I may not be with Darcy then? Fuck that! Shoving that horrendous thought to the back of my mind and the covers off my body I sit up. Glancing again to my phone 1.36am..
"Mother fucker!" I'm getting no sleep tonight. I make my way out to the living area and over to the drinks cabinet. Pouring myself an unnecessarily large bourbon I plod over to the balcony doors and open them, inviting in the cool crisp air. Perching down on the lip of the door and the balcony outside I look up to the sky, I'd forgotten how the stars looked. Most people saw them as beautiful glints of light shining down, bringing happiness and guidance in the dark..not me, sipping my bourbon a little to quickly, I scoff. All I see is cobwebs of the past, stuck. Remaining there staring at us, the ones left behind. My sister isn't up there, watching over me. No she's in a hole in the fucking ground about eight miles from here. In a hole I may as well have dug with my own fucking hands.

I throw the remainder of what's left in my glass down the back of my throat and get up to pour another. I remember why this was all the therapy I needed after Casey died. Tipping the bottle over the edge of my glass I watch the numbing qualities come into view in their crisp golden colour. Swishing the glass round, I hear the faint noise of my phone ringing in the background. Taking my glass with me I find a text on my phone..

Blue:
*You awake? Can't sleep..*

I sigh and place my drink down on the oak drawers and slide into the chair in the corner of my room.

Me:
*I am now, you woke me from a pretty amazing dream filled with bar tops and kitchen floor and bathrooms..*

She replies almost immediately,

Blue:
*I apologise profusely! Please don't let me disturb you and your perverted dream!*

Playful Darcy is fun,

Me:
*I will return to it later..why are you awake?*

Blue:
*Cant sleep...duh*

Me:
*Well I see Captain Obvious has returned in female form! Seriously Blue, why you up?*

Her response takes longer than the rest, either she's writing an essay or has fallen back to sleep, I go to get my drink and sip it down finding that it doesn't nearly fill the void as much as Darcy does, the realisation is comforting. The ping from my right hand informs me of her response, which I'm expecting to be miles long..

Blue:
*I miss you..*

That was it, three words with such meaning that if she had written a hundred wouldn't have conveyed anywhere near as much,

Me:
*Want me to come over?*

Please say yes...please say yes...

Blue:
*I will put the kettle on*

My thumbs work double time telling her I'd be there in fifteen minutes. I decide to leave my bourbon and shrug into some jeans and a plain black tee. Pulling my leather jacket on I can't get out of the hotel quick enough.

* * *

I pull up outside Darcy's house and cut the engine on my bike. I note that a few of the neighbours curtains move, yeah, I'd woken the street up but I didn't really care. My girl needed me, although tonight, I think I needed her more. Creeping down her pathway, something catches my eye on the small patch of grass outside her downstairs window...it's so dark it only catches the light with certain movements. I make my way over to the offending object and discover an empty bottle of vodka? Unless Darcy and Cara had become hardcore alcoholics and resorted to drinking in their front garden, I'm assuming the drunken local I saw the other night couldn't find a bin and chucked it on the girls lawn. Prick. I pick it up and make my way to her bin back at the end of the path. Lifting the lid I find three more like it, I turn to the street to see if I could get a visual on the lunatic, but I couldn't see anyone around? Chucking the bottle in the bin, I close the lid and try for round two of making it to Darcy's door only to find one set of blue eyes that were so bright they seemed like they glowed in the dark. The same set of eyes, made my breath hitch and my cock twitch. Well that and the fact she was in one of my t shirts, that hung to the top of her thighs..She's opened the front door and is leaning against the doorframe,
"Why do I always seem to find you with your head in one of my bins?" I chuckle at her smart mouth and stride up until I'm right in front of her so she has to look up at me.
"Why do I find you so fucking sexy in oversized men's clothing? Which I also note is mine, care to explain how you got your hands on that?" Her plump lips curve upwards with a cheeky smile,
"....Pervet." She throws at me..
"....Thief." I hurl back.
Instead of throwing herself into my arms, she grabs my hand and pulls me inside. Shrugging my jacket off I place it on a coat hook and follow her tanned legs into the kitchen. She's perched up on the side with her legs swinging. How the fuck did I pull this off? I glide over to her, pull her thighs apart and fill the space I've created. Brushing a stray tendril off her face I tuck it behind her ear, stroking her soft cheek on the way up.
"Now you've lured me here, what do you intend to do with me?" She closes her eyes and leans her face into my touch. She hasn't got a single scrap of makeup on, her hair is all messy and piled up on her head. She's never looked more beautiful. The groan from her throat also awakens her and sets her eyes back on me. She looks around the room kitchen for something, divine intervention perhaps? Why does she look so lost? I understand in a heartbeat. The last time I was here, our relationship was different, I didn't know the weight she bared beneath her skin. I know her now. I know what she wants, but this is a first for her, she needs to have control of this if that's what it takes. I will give her everything.
I tug her arms and wrap them around my waist, bringing us even closer. Her breath quickens and she clamps down on her bottom lip. Her eyes scan the worktop as I knead her thighs,
"Tea? You want a cup of tea?" It comes out in a breathy whisper, a lust filled wisp of air..
I shake my head no at her and her eyes flicker shut then reopen blazing. She fists her hands in my hair and tugs me down to her lips, it hurts, but she is welcome to cause me pain. I thrust my tongue in her mouth and play with hers. Each flick sending shock waves to my cock. Tugging her to the edge of the worktop I grind into her heat, feeling her wetness seeping through her panties. The fact I turn her on so much increases my lust. I move down her throat and lap at the sweat that's already forming on her, I can barely think let alone hear her quiet voice from above me,
"Not on here Hudson..." I stop within a second, my cock straining in defiance. She said no. She was saying no. This was too much too quick for her. I take half a step back and smile down at her. Her face still screamed sex but I was listening to her words. Turning out of her hold, I make my way to her kettle and flick it on..
"How about that tea then?" I turn back to find her stood in the door way,
"No Hudson, no tea. Take me to bed.." I understood now, she didn't want a rough pounding on the kitchen side, although I'm sure I could have persuaded her. She wanted me in her bed. Holding her hand out to me I take it in my paw as she guides us upstairs. No words were spoken, no words were needed. We walked down the hallway, passing a door on our left she glanced back at me over her shoulder and put her finger up to her lips, silently telling me Cara must be sleeping in there. Two more steps and I'm in Darcy's bedroom. She shuts the door and moves over to her bedside lamp. I take the time to glance around, her walls are cream and dotted with photo frames, there must be about 30. They only contain four people in different times and places. My folks, Cara and Darcy. She had no life before them. She had nothing worth remembering before them? It breaks my heart and I wonder about her family and wether she has any? I will ask about them, but tonight is not the time or the place. Her shelves are filled with books and CDs ranging from Robert Palmer to Mumford and Sons..she was one of a kind this girl. More importantly, she was all mine.