Just Let Go

Darcy

Darcy

Cara was at her parents house tonight, of course I was invited, and of course I said no, as much as I loved Cara, her family were too much. You thought Cara had a foul mouth, she learnt it from her parents and her two older brothers. So instead, for the first time in a year, I decided to go to the local gym and knock the bag around a few times. I'd jog there, and when I say jog, I mean I'm gonna walk and tell people I jogged. I changed into my sports bra that protected my face from being knocked the fuck out by Minnie and Mickey as Cara liked to call them, threw my yoga pants on and made my way out.

Steele gym, was a stunning place, with glass everywhere. I checked in and made my way to the bag room, peering round the corner to make sure the owners little sister wasn't there, she scared the ever loving crap out of me, as did her brothers. Luckily is was a Friday night and everyone else had lives so I was on my own.

I wrapped up as best I could and lay into the bag until my hands felt numb, until I felt numb. I don't know what brought me back to the bag today, I hadn't been here in a year at least. The kickboxing was recommended by a local at the bar as a way to relive pent up tension. The irony that the very thing that drove me here, violence, was the very thing that soothed my soul. I launched my headphones in and beat that mother fucking bag until my hands had left their story. A quick glance at the clock showed it was 10.30pm, I'd been here for two hours and my hands ached to high heavens to prove that point. I waved bye to the meat head on the front desk an made my way home, i had to go the long way as I needed to stay on the lit main roads, as I didn't want to be murdered and chopped up into little pieces by a serial killer, especially not before the weekend.

The Main Street was packed because of the heat, it draws the fuckers out like flies. This isn't my scene, not at all. I scurried down the street hoping no one bashed into me or my seemingly broken hands. Crossing the road to the quieter side, I heard a commotion in the bar next to me, when a lump of man landed in front of me, thrown there by the bald beasts dressed in black. They turned and left the poor sod crouching on the pavement, his shirt torn at the shoulder, as I began to round the hulk I saw in the rip, the outline of a tattoo, right about where Hudson's was. I stopped dead where I was and crouched on my knees, and pulled the mans face up to look at me and not the chewing gum stained pavement beneath him, please be wrong, please be wrong.....shit. The gorgeous green eyes stared blankly back at me, they were swimming in pain and hurt, and something else? Guilt? This was all very well and good but the fucker was wasted, I looked back up to one of the bouncers who was now laughing at joking like a prick,

"Excuse me...yeah you..Mitchell brothers, why was this man thrown out like a fucking empty wotsits wrapper?" Phil and Grant turned their bulldog faces down to me and sneered,

"This wanker was drinking like a fucking goldfish, started calling the birds Cat or Cas or some other shit...he hit another bloke so he had to go, so wipe your shitty look off your fuckin face love or we will call the police and get him locked in for the night..take him home or fuck off" The bald-dog brothers went back inside leaving me with a broken Hudson, I couldn't just fucking leave him here? For fucks sake, I should have taken serial killer alley, it would have been less fucking painful. I put the silly shits face back down and looked behind me for a cab, 4 out of the 5 all told me to fuck off and they wouldn't be taking that drumken fool in their cab, so it was time to pull out the big guns for cabbie number 5. I yanked my tits up indecently high so a nip slip was gonna be hard to contain, fluffed my hair and strode down to my final option and leaned in,

"Hey Hun, I was wonderi-" shit...

"You need a hand getting him in love?" The slightly over weight red headed woman was not who I was expecting, but thank fucking god...I tucked my tits back in and apologised for the eyeful, she laughed me off and made her way with me over to the drunken dick on the pavement.

With a few heaves and tugs, we managed to fold the beast into the back of her cab like fucking origami. She'd already warned me if he threw up, she'd have to charge us triple and kick us out, fair enough I thought. Luckily for me, he rested his head on my lap and slept like a baby. I gave June (as I found her name was) the bars address, maybe one of the W's had gone back there for some reason,but I changed my mind, how could I plant this waste of fucking space on them on today of all days, they were probably trying to sleep the day away and wake up to a day which didn't bring them pain or sorrow. So I had no other fucking choice, I had no clue where he was staying, so he had to come home with me. The detour cost me an extra fiver, but I scraped my change out of my purse and was only 5p short, June let me off. She helped me carry the hulk to my front door where I told I had it from there. I was fumbling for my keys in the dark when a groan came from Hudson's throat, or perhaps his stomach.........oh fucking hell........definitely his fucking stomach, my neighbours are gonna kill me, his bourbon stanched vomit blanketed their pretentious hydrangeas in an amount that was shocking...I held my nose and finally got the key in the door. All the lights were out so I knew Cara wasn't home yet, thank fuck. I used every bit of strength I possessed to drag Hudson to the living room, because there was no way in hell I could get him upstairs to the bathroom. Don't ask me how I fucking did it, I'm fucking Wonder Woman that's how, but I got him onto our sofa with his head hanging slightly off the edge, when that groan came again..shit..I ran to grab anything that could contain liquid..fuck..the bin was just in reach so it would have to do..I stuck it over his head just in time. Eventually his heaves turned empty and dry, I swore he was coughing up a lung.

After a while, Hudson turned quiet. Either he had coughed up that lung and had died or he was asleep, I was hoping for the latter. I risked pulling filled bin away from his face and watched his peaceful face sleep. I grabbed a cold wet tea towel and wiped his face clean. Without his piercing eyes on me, I could study his face a little further without interruption. He had the beginnings of tomorrow mornings stubble, which I usually hate, but his, not so much. His jaw with harsh as were his cheek bones, he had his fathers nose but his mothers olive skin. As I wiped the last of his stomach contents off the side of his mouth he murmered,

"Casey, I'm so....I'm sorry...forgi..forgive me" ...I swore I heard my heart tear. Who was this man? Where was the cocky, arrogant, self assertive wanker from earlier..him I knew how to deal with, but this shadow of himself, this drunken mess sprawled across my couch calling for his dead sister, I was at a loss with how cope with this. I didn't let men within 2 feet of me, but here I am, kneeling before Hudson listening to his pleas. I needed to get away from him..I placed the bin beneath his head and covered him with a blanket, pottered around in the kitchen and climbed into bed. I'm guessing Cara won't be home tonight as it's late, so no need to tell her about tonight's escapade until Hudson is a safe distance from her. I waited for my panic attack to come as I reached for the light, but it didn't, I counted to 10, but for no apparent reason. My heart wasn't hammering out of my chest. For the first time in years, I drifted off into sleep peacefully, but for once, I couldn't wait to wake back up.