The art of mockery

5

James pov:

It was not wrong to say that James potter's life had taken a full 360 round.

The moment he saw the girl he felt something stir inside him.

Something that had been dormant for so long.

And it confused him if not more frightened and he had no idea what it was or what it meant for that matter to be honest.

There was something so agonisingly familiar about the girl yet she was nothing but a complete stranger, nothing more then a girl he seemed to run into coincidentally.

Yet the aberrant feelings inside him were telling him something else.

The girl was no stranger.

Yet the still working logical part of his brain was opposing his heart.

But he couldn't decide anymore what to believe.

His brain that was going berserk and hatching reasons as so not fret over the girl and to let things flow as it always did.

Or his rogue heart conspiring fantasies too sweet to be true and too bitter to ponder .

But all ended with such an unrealistic bittersweet conclusion that almost made James want to puke the egg and crisped beacons he had for breakfast.

"Another minute and I'm sure you'll burst like a balloon" the voice of Sirius by his ear made him jump high enough that he toppled off the wooden stool he was sitting on.

James sent a harsh glare at Sirius who was practically rolling on the ground in glee, a chorus of laughter escaping him.

But in James opinion Sirius resemble nothing but a snorting pig rolling in mud.

"Do you want to die ?" James yelled at him harsher then he attended to but like expected it had no effect on Sirius and just made him laugh more.

After a minute or two which felt like hours ticking in James brain Sirius finally had some sensed knocked into him as he sobered wiping a mocking tear from the corner of his eye.

"Mate still thinking about the American kid?" Sirius asked as if reading James mind.

"No" was his short and curt answer leaving no space for further discussion but Sirius being the persistent idiot he was continued to pester him until James could not handle it anymore.

"Yes"

Sirius pumped a fist in the air like a child.

" she looked so much like Harry, Pads, so much like her" James whispered because he was sure if he spoke loud enough his voice will crack and he'll prolly start bawling his eyes like a baby.

Sirius patted his back in an almost apologetic way but for a minute said nothing leaving them indulged in nothing but awkward silence.

" i thought that for a second too" he began, "but it is something close to impossible, prongs, its been too long"

"I know but-" he paused as he heard his voice crack, clearing his throat and pushing back the burning tears to the back of his head, James repeated

" i know but it seemed so obv–"

"James–" Sirius cut him off, " shes gone, that girl's not her"

James wanted to say more he so desperately wanted to prove to him that his little princess was not gone like everyone else believed but for that he had to convince himself first which he did not have enough courage to because deep down he knew she was gone.

Gone all those fourteen years ago and that he was gasping on nothing but escaping water in a stream.

But why was his heart being such a jerk and telling him all but naught.

Sirius wrapped his arms around the now shaking form of James rocking him around like a little kid but he did not care.

As long as the persisting pain was gone.

And the pain will only be gone when he accept the cruel fact that his princess was gone like his wife lily had, like his son harry, like his best mates Sirius and remus like pretty much everyone in the wizardry world.

But then why couldn't he?