Unhappy Medium: Between the Devil and the Deep, Dark Sea

Why Can't I Think of a Title?

Niko's habit of spending most of his time in the basement studio was starting to wear on Mallomor's patience. He went down there, hearing loud, aggressive music sung in Faroese.

"Niko? What the Heaven are you listening to?"

Niko paused the music. "Tyr? Why?"

"This is what music is like these days?"

"No, it came out in...'97, I think. A while ago."

Mallomor was in shock. "What the hell happened to ragtime?"

"Oh, y'know, changing trends. Do you have anything particular you want to hear?"

Mallomor's mind was blank.

"Well, tell me when you remember."

Niko went back to making his 141st thumbnail.

Mallomor got an idea to get Niko out of the basement. Niko was sitting on a stool, allowing him to wrap his arms around Niko.

Niko put down his pencil. "Mallomor, I'm busy."

"Then take a break. I want to see you. Please?"

"I have work to do right now. See you later, OK?"

Mallomor lightly kissed Niko's neck and disappeared.

Niko was surprised, rubbing the area where he was kissed, and shrugged it off. He liked Mallomor's touch, but he had work to do.

When he walked out of the basement to get a refill of water, Mallomor ambushed him.

"Are you done yet?"

"Not yet. Just be patient, like you were before."

Niko walked over to the fridge to the ice machine. Mallomor was frustrated.

"But we weren't beaus before!"

Niko glanced over at his shoulder. "Beaus?"

"Sorry-I meant to say boyfriends."

Niko nodded, filling up his water bottle. He went back to the basement, but Mallomor blocked his path.

"How about a dinner date?"

Niko was confused. "How can we? We're nearly a hundred miles from the nearest port-"

"Let's do it here. I can make something Turkish easily."

"Well, I'm kind of a picky eater..."

Mallomor sighed. "Make a list, but don't worry, it'll be good."

The next time he got out of the basement, he saw Mallomor setting the table.

"Looks good, smells terrific!"

"Not as romantic as I'd like, but there are no flowers in the ocean."

Niko scoffed. "There's coral and sea anemones! They can serve as flowers!

What did you mean by 'not as romantic as you'd like'?"

"It looks a bit too...simple for a date, don't you think?"

"I don't care if we're having an outdoor dinner with a white tablecloth and fine wine looking over Paris. If the food is good, that's all that matters."

Mallomor smiled. "This is why I love you, you're practical."

"Thank you. Now, let's eat."

Mallomor hadn't let Niko down, it was really good. It was inegol kofte, grilled meat cylinders made of lamb, breadcrumbs, and onions. Like Lay's Potato Chips, Niko couldn't eat just one.