Love If We Made It

It's not living if it's not with you

Junior year

Jisoo sees the hurt on her girlfriend's face when she has to kiss that boy during spin the bottle.

And reluctantly, Jisoo places her lips on his, but Chaeyoung's lips are the only ones for her, she thinks

-

"Why can't we just be who we are? It's 2019, chu, not everyone's a homophobe anymore."

"I told you I'm not ready Chaeyoung."

"When will you be?"

But Jisoo says silent

-

When Jisoo and Chaeyoung go out for their 1st anniversary, she feels free, but when Chaeyoung leans in to kiss her on the ferris wheel Jisoo feels that squeeze of her heart, when she has to reject it.

"What are you doing?!"

"I thought it would be romantic- "

" you can't do these things in public Chaeyoung!"

"So what can I do with my fucking  girlfriend in public?!"

"They'll hear you chaeyoung!"

"Yeah whatever"

And as the ride comes to a stop, Chaeyoung gets off, walking away with her head down

And Jisoo can only guess that she is crying

So she runs after her

"Chaeyoung!"

Chaeyoung turns around tears streaming down her face.

And Jisoo's heart breaks, she knows she's hurting her, and she knows she shouldn't make Chaeyoung wait for her, because truthfully, she has no idea of when she'll be ready.

And Jisoo let's the tears fall, slowly, and then she let's go, because she knows letting go, is exactly what she needs to do now.

"Let's break up."

"What?"

"You're joking right"

"...."

"You can't be serious Jisoo"

"I'm sorry Chaeyoung."

"But why- do you not love me, am I not good enough, am I not smart enough, not pretty enough"

"No Chaeyoung, it's not that."

"Do you have someone else?"

And though all Jisoo wants is to deny it, she thinks it's the only way the younger can let go, so she agrees, mindlessly, as the tears blur her vision of the also crying girl in front of her.