Sweet Escape

6

Lena wakes up in the middle at the night, warm and comfortable. Alex's hand wrapped around her so completely. She try to escape her self from Alex's embrace, managing not to wake Alex up on the process. But she unable to resist of Alex's sight in the dim light. All these while, she never asks Alex for more, she do know that she doesn't deserve it, while she trying to enjoy the moment Alex being around her and Ethan. She know Alex will stay, longer than she deserve. Part of her feel so lucky that Alex found out about Ethan. Ethan makes Alex stay.. yes it should be like that.. all this while.. Alex stay because of Ethan.
And for the kisses and sex they had share, it is just the best way to escape from their pain. They both hurts so bad and they found that missing piece from each other. And now, she's going to lose Alex, she's have to suffer the same pain, once again. And this time would be even harder because Ethan in it.
She know that Alex would find the best way to telling Ethan about her absence in the future and deep down inside, Lena knows that Ethan would understand. That boy connected with Alex in a very special way. Only need a few words and gently carerss on his face for Ethan to agree with everything Alex told him to.
Lena remembers that one day Ethan was really upset because he really wanted to learn to play bicycles in the park, which is not safe for him to playing outside with Lena. Lena try her best to calm Ethan down but failed. Ethan growing up, not so easy to handle. Then Lena called Alex during her work hours to talk to Ethan.
And unexpectedly that night Alex came to Lena's penthouse, still in her tactical gear. Which is Ethan's favorite view.
Alex carried him in her arms, saying something to Ethan in a very small voice, almost like a whisper, then Lena saw Ethan nodded to Alex, put his arms around Alex's neck, hold her tight and he comes to Lena and apologize, for being so tantrum all day long. And the next three days, on saturday, Alex came erlier in the morning, bring a really cool new bike for Ethan. Then they both said goodbye to Lena for going to the park, both wear masks, for safety reason. Alex squeezed her wrist before leaving, told her to sleep any longer as long as she brings Ethan out to play in the park and promise Lena that Ethan would be totaly safe with her.
And how to deal with it, for losing all of that help.. Lena still can't figure out.
And about her feeling as well, about her heart thumps in her chest very hard, betraying every protest that she wants to tell hear body and mind. To stop act like this. To stop hoping for more than this from Alex Danvers. She's not Maggie Sawyer, a simple and very hot Detective that really match to Alex Danver's life. Or Sam Arias who really sweet and Rubby had steal Alex's heart from the first time they met. Sometimes she wondering why it didn't happen between Alex and Sam. They really good for each other, almost like perfect.
And Lena feels that pull again, that need to be close to Alex.
The tears spring to Lena’s eyes immediately when she traces her finger over Alex’s face, starting at her jaw and trailing up over the curve of her cheekbones until Alex shifts sleepily and opens her eyes.
"We fall asleep. You should go home.. Ethan waiting for you," she murmurs,
smiles languidly. She reaches up to catch Lena's fingers and laces their fingers together, pressing a kiss to her knuckles.
"Ethan is sleeping. We can get home tomorrow morning before he wakes up." Lena wiggles their joined hands, and Alex's gaze slides away bashfully.
"And..you.. getting soft on me, Director Danvers."
Alex remembers the words very well. which Maggie said to her the first time she realized she had something in her feeling for Maggie.
"Umm.. Life is too short. And we should be who we are. And we should kiss the girl that we wanna kiss.."
The words slid itself out of her mouth, but her heart didn't feel any pain about Maggie when she said the words. No Maggie include in her pain right now. There was only one things that scare her to death right now, the fear of losing this woman in front of her.
Alex's lips move to her mouth, drawing her into a slow, deliberate kiss, Lena melts into it willingly, one hand going to Alex’s cheek and the other one pull Alex closer.
Then the hand on her cheek presses her backwards gently, and Lena pulls away until she can look Alex in the eyes.
"Alex.." she starts softly "it feels like you are saying goodbye to me."
"I am.." Alex admits quietly, dropping her gaze so she’s looking anywhere but on Lena’s eyes. "I said i would coming back here. To Ethan..and maybe to you.." the last three words more like a whisper, Lena almost can't hear it but Alex's eyes said it anyway.
"And for the hope of Kara would coming back again.. and we can be together again. Like the old times."
Lena doesn’t speak for a while, just eases her hands  into Alex’s hair to scratch her nails lightly across her scalp and guide her head down into the crook of her neck.
"I don’t want to go back to what we had.." Lena finaly said it.
She ignored the fluttering feeling in her stomach as she rested her head in  Alex’s neck, couldn't shut up about how good Alex smelled. She want to scream and stop Alex from going but she can't.
"If Kara didn't left. It's not gonna happen. Right?"
That's a statement. Not a question. Alex is saying the truth. and that thud of Lena’s heart turns into a sorrow instantly.
"I know.. sometimes you don't even notice me, Alex.."
Alex shakes her head.
"I told you.. i can't imagine being with you. The problem is not from you. You know it, Lena."
"Then come back. And find out. Would you give both of us a chance. Only for both of us? Without considering Ethan, and our damn pain?," Lena ask, her eyes going dark and wet.
Alex didn't answer but pressed their body together, pulling her into a gentle kiss, their kisses devolve slowly until they’re not so much kissing as just pressed together.
They fall asleep wrapped around each other hand and wake up the same way.
And they start to counting times.

It's 06.00 AM at the morning when Alex notice a wonderful smell from her kitchen then she know that Lena working on something on her kitchen. She saw Lena on her T-shirt and pantless, only on her underwear. The shadow of Lena Luthor cooking in her kitchen is usually only in her imagination.
Alex knew she was about to leaving this earth and was not sure when she would come back, so there is no harm in enjoying the moment with this woman.
Alex joined Lena in the kitchen, wrapping her arms around her from behind, she smiled into her neck and gave a little peck on it.
"Don't move.. i wanna remember this."
But Lena put down the utensils she was holding and turned around.
"Look.. a Danvers can't give a Luthor even a little command."
Lena gives ger a light smile as she turn around. "I'm not one of your agent, Director."
Alex felt they long crossed the line of being friends, but that was conversation for another time.
"Lena.. you mentioned the agent..umm i just wanna told you that as long as im not here, Vasquez would take care of you and Ethan. She's the only one i can trust with secret."
Lena frowned. "Actually how long you be gone?"
"Im not sure. The most important thing right now is keep alive. I can't let you be alone. I can't imagine--"
Alex stop talking. Her face was full of sadness. Lena is very curious about her or Ethan that she worries about.
"You can tell me about the mission?"
Alex shook her head.
"I'm not sure you want to know.. but i can tell you that i work with The Legend..you know.. Sara Lance in it. She's the one who ask me to join,"
Lena breaths. Try to process the information.
"That would be so much fun for you, Director." Lena voiced with a polite smile, trying so hard not to look jealous.
"You're so cute.. little Luthor.. i would die a thousand times just to see that face once again. Come on show me.. " Alex teased.
Lena pull her self away and turn around, working on her toast, try no control her feeling towards Alex.
She felt insecure enough about her self, plus the presence of an extraordinary woman named Sara Lance, she can't take it no more.
Once again Alex wrapped her hands around Lena. Rubbing her nose against the curve of Lena's neck.
"Just two hours from now. You have to share me with Ethan. Are you sure you want to ignore me, Little Luthor?"
Alex seems like didn't need the answer.
She's too strong to control everthing.
Lena didn't fight when Alex carry her bridal style to the couch.
Alex presses forward to kiss her, open-mouthed and hard, but Lena can find it different, it's not like the old kisses that Alex gives her, it's kinda intimate. She felt Alex really wanted this kiss.
Alex didn't hold back, didn't hold back her feelings, whatever it was.
Lena can feel Alex frustrated as herself.
If only she could meet Alex in different time, she swore she would do everything possible to own this person.
Lena close her eyes when Alex's fingers are digging into her skin where they’re wrapped around Alex's arms, and Lena has twisted herself around to watch her with wide, concerned eyes.
She drags her nails down Lena’s stomach in the wake of her mouth, losing herself in the moan that tears out of Lena’s throat as she arches into the pressure.
"You're extremely beautiful Lena Kieran Luthor. I'm addicted to you."
Lena's heart was pounding hard to hear Alex mention her full name. No one ever called her that, besides Ethan's dad..