LOVE-GONE / XIAODERY

EIGHT.

yuta really and i mean, really doesn't know why kun and ten are so set on making guanheng and dejun like each other. it was so obvious they didn't but whatever, he'll try to set them up to make the other two happy. the bus ride to the hotel was awkward. not for yuta but for the two boys he was supposed to be secretly setting up. even though they were the only person they knew on this trip, they didn't even dare to sit next to each other or look at each other. in fact, guanheng had sat next to a girl who on her way to the hotel, she had decided on telling him about her entire life. so yeah, yuta would say it was not going as planned.

as yuta was assigning who was rooming with who in the hotel, he could sense guanheng giving him a look for an extremely obvious reason.

"-and wong guanheng with xiao dejun."

"you're kidding me." guanheng says, groaning.

yuta furrows his eyebrows and stares at him in confusion, "what? they're organized alphabetically by your last name. you can't be mad that your last name is wong."

"uh, actually, yes i can . secondly, yukhei and i share the same last name, why am i not rooming with him?"

yuta shrugs, "maybe because i don't know, he's already rooming with someone else."

"who? nobody else has the same last name as him except for me so it makes no sense why you roomed me with dejun."

now guanheng was an actually really calm and nice person sometimes but never once had yuta seen someone get so worked up about not getting a specific roommate which in this situation, was someone he didn't even know, they just had the same last name.

"actually it does make sense if you know the alphabet. w comes before x. now go off to your room," and with the wave of yutas' hand, he and dejun are off to their room. what was odd however was how dejun didn't even attempt to argue it was almost as if he were happy about the arrangement.

as soon as they reach their room and set their bags down on the bed they wanted, dejun finally speaks up, "okay, that's your side of the room and this is mine," he gestures towards his bed, "if you ever cross over the lamp in the middle, i will kill you in your sleep."

dejun seemed oddly aggressive about the marking of their own territory as if dejun didn't want to interact with the other at all. over the next few days, dejun didn't even dare to speak to guanheng. infact, he hadn't spoken to anyone except yuta. guanheng wanted to understand him, and he hoped dejun wanted the same.

guanheng didn't want to pry at it but he wanted to so, so badly. he needed to know what was wrong but he knew dejun wouldn't give that to him.

of course at one point in this trip, someone would ruin something. that's how it always goes.

guanheng is scrolling through his phone in bed, trying to fall asleep (though he didn't actually feel tired in any way so he didn't see the point of what he was doing.)

everything was fine, you know? that's how everything always starts- fine until it escalates into something so bad that makes you ask: " where did i go wrong? "

guanheng hears soft sniffling and he doesn't think much of it- maybe dejun had allergies? yes, that was it. it was nothing to be concerned about. the more that time went on, the more guanheng couldn't deny it. he was concerned about dejun. not just now but always. guanheng turns to look at dejun and god, his heart drops. dejuns eyes are closed but his eyes and practically screaming with tears rolling down his cheeks and his breath seems to quicken.

fuck.

guanheng lifts his blankets and crosses over to dejuns bed. even though he's extremely aware that dejun said he would kill him if he even crossed the bedside table but whatever, that doesn't matter now.

"hey, hey." guanheng whispers but it doesn't even seem to affect him. guanheng ran a hand through his hair, he really didn't know what to do.

guanheng grips dejuns shoulders and only then he wakes up, his eyes widening. before guanheng can even ask him what's wrong, dejun hugs him and shoves his head into the crook of guanhengs neck. guanheng slowly sits down on the edge of the bed where dejun subconsciously moved. it's silent between the two of them until dejun calms down as time passes. dejun separates from the other and they look at each other for what feels like an eternity. guanheng doesn't know why he does this, why he thought it was even a good idea in the first place. maybe he thought it'd be comforting. he doesn't know.

dejuns lips were still salty with tears as guanheng kisses him. after it's over, guanheng doesn't think he messed it up for once because dejun asks him with his eyes still glossy,

"i don't deserve it, do i?"

guanheng frowns, he doesn't know what he was even talking about.

"deserve what?"

it's silent between the two of them and dejun finally says it as if he had been holding it in for his entire life, "love. "

"you do. i know that you do."

"how do you know that?" guanheng doesn't know why he said it, it seemed like a good idea at the moment but looking back on it- it was such a bad idea. he doesn't even know why it popped up in his head to say it.

"because i love you."

and with those three words, only then did guanheng realize: he ruined everything by saying it out loud.

a/n hehe the last chapter is next 😼😼😼