Blair Silver

Part 2: It Was Worth It

"Charlotte! Oh honey you did so well! During that song- oh, what was it called..."

I tune out as my parents fawn over my sister. The recital was long and kind of seemed to go on for like, ever, but that might just be because I wanted to get back to my book the whole time. I had to stop right in the middle of a chapter, and since I'm nearing the end, it was getting really important. I am thoroughly convinced that was the worst possible place to have stopped in the entire book. 

Anyways.

We get back home, have a late dinner, then go to bed. I would call that a disruption to our usual routine, but honestly, I don't think we have one. As I mentioned: chaotic.

I finish my book on the bus to school the next morning. The main character dies.

Fortunately, Jillian gets on the bus shortly after, so I'm not grieving alone (alone, on a bus full of zombified teenagers who haven't gotten coffee yet) for very long. She sees the book sitting in my lap and slides into the seat next to me, putting an arm around my shoulder for comfort. I lean into her, my gaze fixated on the nasty bus floor. She doesn't try to console me, tell me it'll be alright, or get mad at the book, or ask what happened, or anything. She just asks;

"Do you regret reading it?" 

And I shake my head, because even though my heart feels completely broken, I'm glad I read it. I'm glad I got to go on that adventure with those characters, enjoy their victories, laugh with them, and cry with them.

"You should read it," I tell her quietly, and she snorts. It's not hard to hear the clear, if that book made you feel like this then there's no way I'm reading it. I smile a little in spite of myself and slip it into my backpack.

-

As usual, dealing with classes while grieving the death of a character (as well as the end of the book) is not necessarily easy. My friends make it a lot better, though. Jillian gets me a dark chocolate Mars bar from the vending machine after first period, and Gabrielle tells me a joke in math ("Hey Theo, what should you feed a baby parabola? Quadratic formula.").

After a few days, it becomes easier to smile again and (as I seem to find myself doing fairly often) I thank the friendship god for giving me such amazing friends. Honestly, they're incredible. Jillian even stays up until eleven thirty with me studying over FaceTime for a math test that I didn't have time to study for earlier (The Chaotic Rose Family Strikes Again: Charlotte Has A Soccer Game The Night Before My Math Test).

Fortunately, math is after lunch, so we review during that as well. I go into the test feeling confident, and come out feeling slightly shaken but not like I failed.

After our last class is dismissed, I go back to my locker to put away my textbooks and get out my hoodie. I slip it over my head, then finger-comb my hair back to its original position, trying to ease out some of the static.

"Hey, Theo-"

There's a hand on my shoulder, and I know Jillian's going to get shocked even before I hear her "Ouch!" and then receive a slap to the shoulder even though the static is technically not my fault. I give her a meek grin as I turn to face her. "Sorry."

She's scowling. "I hate when you wear hoodies. Why can't you just wear a jacket like everyone else?"

"Because it's not cold enough for a jacket."

"Not a parka! Just a thin jacket, or a sweater. Anything but a hoodie. I always get shocked."

"I like hoodies, though."