Blair Silver

Part 23: Impossible

I wait outside Theo's school, listening for the dismissal bell. It's funny how it's become 'Theo's school' instead of 'my mom's work' over the duration of time I've been dating him. It's not surprising, though; I already knew how whipped I am.

How on earth did I fall so fast?

I know the answer to that. It's just Theo. Everything about him. It would have been more surprising if I hadn't fallen in love with him fast enough to nearly break my neck.

The real question is: how come I'm still here?

Falling in love with people scares me. I know I'm going to bolt out of their life and break my own heart with not only their absence, but the guilt of knowing I hurt them. Usually the knowledge of that, and the fear that comes with it, is enough to make me want to leave as soon as possible so I can at least control how it happens. But I'm still here. I'm still dating him. Both my heart and his are still intact. It's odd. It's like I'm desperate enough to be with him that I'm willing to hold out until the last moment, until I panic and leave.

It can't be far off, now.

I'm snapped out of my thoughts by a dull buzzing noise that I realize after a second is the dismissal bell. I smile to myself, eyes already fixed on the doors that Theo will be coming out of.

"Waiting for your boyfriend?"

I ignore the guy that said that. Because seriously? Yes. I have a boyfriend, they've seen him multiple times. He goes to his school. That's common knowledge at this point, and he's the only reason I let myself smile in public, so yes, I'm waiting for him, obviously.

Then, after a moment, I turn to actually look at him. The guys who stand around me to smoke make little comments at random intervals all the time, so it's nothing new, though I'm not really sure why they're near me right now. I'm not even smoking. I notice that a few of them aren't smoking either and suppress a smirk.

Honestly, the ones that are here right now aren't too bad. Mildly tolerable at least. The guy who asked if I was waiting for my boyfriend looks a little shocked that I actually looked at him. I hold his gaze for a moment longer, before giving him a half nod and looking back at the door.

Students are streaming out the doors now, making it a little difficult to see if Theo's there. As soon as he emerges from the crowd, though, I spot him and smile. He grins adorably as he sees me, approaching the group I'm in the middle of without even giving the others a glance. Once he's close enough, I wrap an arm around his waist and press a soft kiss to his forehead. I couldn't care less that we have an audience. Theo blushes as he looks up at me, snuggling in a little closer. My heart warms affectionately. "Ready to go?"

He nods, still blushing a little, and I resist the urge to ruffle his hair. He's so precious. 

We go to my (mom's) car, hidden from spectators now. I lean over the console, cupping his cheek with one hand and stroking his hairline with my fingertips. It has the desired reaction of making him both blush and slump closer to me. I move closer, bumping the tip of his nose with mine to make him giggle. "May I?"

He nods, then pulls back when I try to close the gap between us. "Wait, first tell me if you smoked today."

He's so unbelievably endearing. I didn't smoke today; it actually didn't occur to me. I've been smoking a lot less since we started dating. As in, less than half of the number of cigarettes I smoked monthly prior to our relationship. "If I did, would you say no?"

He eyes me suspiciously (he's blushing, though, so it's just cute). "Yes. Maybe. Until you brushed your teeth or something."

"Fair enough. But then I'd have to wait to show you how much I missed you..."