Blair Silver

Part 11: Next Time?

It's the next morning when I start to wish I had gotten Blair's phone number or something. It's widely known that he's not on any social media: the freshmen every year will try and find his Instagram account or Facebook, or anything. But there's nothing (I'd know. I did my fair share of Blair-Silver's-social-media-searching in my time). He's simply not there. Nobody knows why. I make a mental note to ask him for his phone number next time I see him. 

If there is a next time. 

What if there isn't? What if he just likes kissing people and taking them on one date before disappearing again? There was no guarantee of anything else. He said he didn't want to be friends, so does that mean he doesn't want a prolonged relationship of any kind? Or maybe it means that he does want a relationship, and he wanted to make sure it wouldn't be confused with friendship?

I need to stop over-analyzing this. I'm sure he'll make his intentions known soon enough.

I spend the day at my house just in case, but when there's no sign of him, I invite Jilly over and we hang out, using the time to discuss my date with Blair Silver and when Jilly's planning on requesting to follow Elliot on Instagram. I kinda wish Blair had Instagram so I could dm him, but what can you do.

On Monday, I spend the day on pins and needles wondering if he'll show up after dismissal. He doesn't, and it's about then that I start to lose hope. It's about when I start to lose hope that Jillian starts to go on protective best friend mode. I tell her she doesn't need to, but still. Later, when I'm on the bus, I keep an eye out for Blair across the street at that one stop where I sometimes see him. Even though it's more probable that he's not there, it feels discouraging when I don't see him.

On Tuesday, I intentionally don't get my hopes up. He's Blair Silver. He probably doesn't do commitments. I'm super lucky to even have gotten that much. With this thought, I feel a lot more cheerful. I got to kiss him. Like, four times. But there's still a lingering feeling of emptiness in my chest.

Dismissal comes around, and I go to my locker. Jillian gives me a kind smile, which helps. I pack my backpack, but as I close my locker, something gets caught in the door. I tug on my backpack a little, frowning, before trying to determine what's stuck. Unfortunately, the hallways are emptying now, so someone just happens to bump into me, and-

I drop my backpack.

And promptly discover that it was the zipper that had gotten stuck, as it unzips and spills all over the floor. Wonderful.

I undo my combination lock as Jillian gathers up some of my stuff. The hallways are nearly deserted as I finally get it open (after messing up several times) and release my backpack from the door. Jillian helps me load my stuff up, but I can see her checking her watch. We're going to miss the bus, I know it.

Actually, Jillian could make it, since I'm the clumsy one. If she goes now-

"Go ahead," I tell her. "You can run and make it. I'll get the next bus, I'll just wait inside until it gets close to the time."

"No way, I'm not going to just-"

"Need some help?"

I look up, my heart already racing. Blair Silver is walking towards us, wearing a faint half-smile. I gaze at him for a moment, unable to stop a smile from forming on my own face before turning back to Jillian.

"See? Blair can help me. Go catch the bus, Jilly. If you run, you'll make it in plenty of time."

She hesitates, then looks at Blair Silver. "You'll drive him home?"