Blair Silver

Part 19: Understand

One more day turns into several more days, which turns into a week. I can't bring myself to do it, even though I know it'll be so much better in the long run.

It's gotten to the point where I'm literally just lying facedown on my bed and trying to convince myself to do it. 

Come on, Blair. Think of how guilty you're going to feel when you break his heart by just disappearing on him with no warning. Think of that horrible urge to run away like your life depends on it. Think of the all-consuming panic. Think of... Theo... crying on Jillian's shoulder... just wanting to understand why...

My phone buzzes. I look at the screen. It's Theo. All my previous thoughts fly straight out of my head, and I smile.

Teddy Bear:
Are you busy today?
Actually no never mind it's fine I saw you on Thursday
Ignore me
Sorry

Sent:
I'm free. Your family isn't doing anything today?

Teddy Bear:
Nope
Well
Nothing that includes me
And Jilly's got stuff so we're going to hang out tomorrow
So I figured I'd see if you were free
Because
Why not I guess?

Even over text, he's completely adorable.

Sent:
I'm not complaining. Did you want to do something specific, or just hang out?

Teddy Bear:
I didn't have any ideas
I can probably think of something, though
If you want me to
Since you always take me out on dates

Sent:
If you want to, then go for it, but don't think I have any expectations of you. We could always hang out over here, though my mom's home all day today. She won't bother us, but if you're not comfortable with it then we could do something else.

Teddy Bear:
I mean
It's not like I'm not comfortable around her
It's just
She's my teacher
And your mom
Like, she knows me already
And I still have a class with her
It's just
Idk

Sent:
I understand what you're trying to say, don't worry. So you'd like to go out?

Teddy Bear:
Yeah
We could go to the movies
I'll pay
Since you paid for my book

Sent:
Two movie tickets will be more expensive than one softcover book. And you don't need to pay me back, Teddy Bear

Teddy Bear:
(I'm glaring at you right now and definitely not blushing at all)

Right. As if.

Sent:
I'm sure.

Teddy Bear:
Then for the book and the succulent
And lunch
At least twice
And for driving me places which uses up gas which I've never paid you for ever

Sent:
Okay, okay, you can pay for the movie tickets. Happy?

Teddy Bear:
Yes :)

It's impossible not to smile at my phone, knowing that he is too.

Sent:
When do you want to meet at the theatre?

Teddy Bear:
One sec, let me check the bus schedule

Sent:
I can pick you up

The typing bubble pops up, then disappears, then pops up again, disappears again, and pops up again before a message appears, all in the span of about two seconds.

Teddy Bear:
Okay
Thank you
Whenever works for you, then
Or the movie showing times

Sent:
We could probably make it for the noon time slot if we went now