The Seed

Full Bloom

RAM'S POV

'Ai'Ning do you seriously think that I like you more than a brother? I find you interesting and a bit peculiar but that's it. You can't expect me to like you any more than that right? That's totally absurd haha!'

I felt my chest tighten as I was awaken by what I consider as one of my worst nightmare. I remembered how P'King smiled at that girl earlier. He was really happy. I really misinterpreted things to a great degree. I hoped too much and fell too hard. It was totally my fault.

As I was drowning in my thoughts and misery, I instantly felt the need to gasp for air. I began coughing vigorously and that's when I clearly saw it. The petals or should I say the flowers this time. It was in full bloom and it's coming inside of me. Flowers after flowers, tainted with my own blood are coming out of my mouth as I cough. There's a tremendous pain in my chest and my tears can't help but flow on its own. I can't even distinguish as to whether what part of me hurts more. Was it physical or emotional? I guess both. There's no difference right now as I can feel myself breaking on all sides. The jasmine flowers are piling up as I feel weaker and weaker with every cough that I make. What is really happening to me?!

I was too distracted with the pain I'm subjected to that I didn't realize that my mae already entered my room with the spare key in her hand. I saw her looking at me with tears trickling on her lovely eyes.

"Son tell me who did this to you? Why did you let this happen my sweet child?" My mom asked as she approached me and sat on the side of my bed while she continued sobbing.

I was able to regain a bit of my strength so I answered her weakly. "Mae I don't even know what's happening to me. What is this?"

She cupped my cheeks and wiped my tears as she explained to me the nature of this apparent disease that struck me.

According to my mom, this is the Hanahaki Disease. She knew what it was the moment she saw me coughing out flowers and petals. Mae told me that her younger uncle had this disease before that's why most people on my mother's side are aware of this disease.

An illness born from unrequited love. That really fits my currrent situation.

Mae said that it will cause the patient's throat and air passages to fill up with flowers, they will then proceed to throw, and cough up the petals, sometimes even the flowers. My mom added and said that it can be cured and one of the only ways for the disease to 'disappear' is if, the said person returns the feeling but it can't be resolved with friendship, it has to be genuine feelings of love. The infection can also be removed through surgery, though the feelings you have for that special person will disappear along with the petals. If they choose neither options, or the feeling is not returned in time, then the patient's lungs will fill up with flowers. They will eventually suffocate and die.

So might die because of this? But looking at myself right now, I can only consider myself as barely breathing but not living at all. My love for P'King is the one that gave life to me but at the same time, it will also take the life out of me. How ironic is that? It would be really nice to think that P'King will reciprocate my feelings but remembering how him and the girl interacted a few hours ago, I'd just be fooling myself.

As I continue along my trail of thoughts, I began coughing again and the flowers almost filled my bed. My mom hugged me as she tried to comfort me while she continues to sob. I'm sure that my mom is suffering as much as I am. No mother would want to see their child suffer like this and it makes my guilt rise even more just thinking of that.

After finishing another round of coughing fit, my entire room smells like jasmin flowers and you'd clearly notice the said flowers to be scattered everywhere. It would be a lovely sight to behold except for the fact that the said scene was caused by someone who's actually dying because of unrequited love.

I asked my mom to collect the flowers and put them of jars. I'd like to keep them. To remind me of how deep my love is for P'King. I never regretted for once that I fell in love with P'King. I'd do it over and over again even if it costs me my life. P'King is definitely worth everything. I'm totally whipped I guess though I know that he won't love me the same way as I love him.

After cleaning up the beatiful mess that I made, my mae sat beside my bed again and told me "Son I don't know how much you love that person who's causing you this and I wouldn't ask you who that person is since I know that you don't want to talk about it. But if that person can't love you back the same way as you do, can you do mae a favor and undergo surgery for the removal of those flowers? She begged.

"I know son that you value the feeling that you have for that person but can you set it aside first for yourself? I couldn't bear seeing you hurting like this son. Mae won't accept the fact that you can die anytime because of this. Can you do the surgery for us? For the love that you have for our family?" My mother finished as she started sobbing again.

I couldn't bear to see my mom crying like that. She didn't do anything wrong to suffer like I do. I was trying to hold onto my feelings for P'King that I started neglecting myself and caused this kind of suffering to my mom. This has to stop. If I can't do it for myself then I'd do it for my mom. My feelings won't returned anyway so what's the use of keeping it right?

'I guess it's time for me to say goodbye to my feelings for you P'King. It would've been a lovely story if you felt the same way as me. I may not be the perfect lover but I'll definitely take care of you the best way I can as a person. There won't be a single day where you won't feel how much you mean to me as a person. I would've shown how precious you are to me. But I guess that's all in my imagination and it will stay there forever. I love you P'King but I guess I have to let go of those feelings.'

After analyzing things I replied to my mom. "Ok mae I'll do the surgery then but can you please not tell anyone about my condition. Tell por and Ruj the same thing. I like to keep it like that and not let anyone else know about it."

"If that is what you want sweetie then mae will do it. But you need to stay here at home while we try to schedule your surgery. Your por knows a doctor who can perform the surgery in Japan and we'll go there once we've set the date of your schedule ok?" My mom answered.

"Sure mae. Thanks for understanding." I replied.

"Anytime sweetie. You now how much mae and por loves you and Ruj. Both of you are our most prized treasure." Mom said as she hugged me.

Later that night after dinner, my mom shared my condition to por and Ruj. They cried as expected and also urged me to undergo the surgery which I readily agreed upon. Good thing that the doctor who will conduct the surgery is not that busy and agreed to schedule the procedure this coming Saturday. Everything will be ok after this. P'King can continue to develop his feelings for that girl. He can finally have his peace of mind and happiness. My family would stop hurting because of my condition. Everything will be back to how it was. I'll be back to how I was...
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.....but how was I before meeting P'King. I hope I'm really doing things right this time.

A/N : Chapter 6 done...how was it so far??? Told you it's mostly garbage stuff. Pardon me for the errors. 😆