the way things ended up.

hiding

I wanted him, and only him. Court and my mom sat beside me while I lied down, tucked into my bed, envisioning his arms wrapped around my body. He made me feel safe, and right now, that was all I needed, to feel like everything would be okay. I was back into the mindset that something would go wrong. Something always went wrong with my life, and this time I was worried it would be something with the baby. If Malcolm was here, he’d hold me tightly and tell me everything would be okay, and somehow when he said it, I thought it was true. His words were smoother than others, so much more convincing. He’d press his lips lightly against mine while my tears gently dripped down both our cheeks, bringing the pad of his finger against my cheek to softly wipe those tears away. 

Instead what I wished were the case, Courtney was sat at my feet, brushing her hand up and down my legs in some sort of comfort while my mom rubbed my back softly. It didn’t feel right, to have my family comforting me. I hated worrying them, which I knew deep down, that was what I was doing, and I couldn’t stop thinking about the anxiety I must have been giving them. But the worst was what I hadn’t even began to think about yet. 

Pete. Some of his things were still here and I knew eventually he’d want to come back and get them, and even if I dropped them off, or had someone else drop the stuff off, id still have to face him at some point. I hadn’t told court or vic and especially not my mom about pete..actions. I knew they’d flip out, and feel even worse than they already did for me, and I hated the pity. That night when he pushed me down the stairs, even if they had been in town, I couldn’t have called them. They ask too many questions and as much as I loved them, I couldn’t let them feel bad for not knowing what had been going on. 

“I’m gonna make you something to eat Bell.” Mom smiled, snapping me out of my thoughts, and I sat up slowly, nodding to her while Courtney sat up as well. Mom walked out, and court and I both looked at each other. 

“Whats on your mind?” She asked softly. God she could always tell. 

“Pete.” I sighed honestly, and she nodded. 

“Why don’t I go get Vic and Lex, and we can all talk about…something tells me you might needs all of us to listen instead of just me.” She chuckled, and I smiled back and nodded. She stood up, and walked out, and as the door closed slowly the panic in my chest returned.

Was I going to tells them about Pete? Should I? Everything was overwhelming once again and there were so many factors that played into this this time around. I sat just thinking, weighing out all my options, until the 3 of them came back in the room, sitting slowly on the bed as they gave me their soft hellos, snuggling in next to me and holding onto my slightly as if they were scared to let me go.

“So whats going on?” 

-  written by goodnightngo16

next update won't be for a while probs as we're both v busy 🤍