In the arms of evil

Difficult times

I wake to find Colton isn't beside me. "Colton?" There's no response. Creeping over to my living room, I find a sleeping Colton on my one seater, one leg propped on the grey leg rest. One hand is laid over the arm rest, the other... holds a gun close to him. "Jesus" I mutter, slowly taking it from him. He's awake instantly, gripping my wrist so hard I wince. "Brooklyn? Fuck baby... I'm sorry" he apologises immediately, kissing my wrist countless times. "Why didn't you come to bed last night?" It comes out as a whisper from my frowning lips. "I did silly" he chuckles back. "When you fell asleep in my arms, I got up and came here." I sit in his lap, wrapping my arms around his neck. "Why? I thought you said Marcus had men outside my place for us." His small smile fades, but he hides it from me, kissing my bare shoulder instead as he pulls my sleeve down to give him access. "You lied. Didn't you?" He sighs, before telling me the truth. "You wouldn't have felt safe otherwise." I roll my eyes and get up off of him. "Don't be like that Brook. I lied to protect you." That line sends me up the wall. "Yeah, you did. You lied to protect me so I'd feel safe. You lied to protect me when you knew about Troy. What else have you lied to me about? Because honestly, I can't take it anymore" my words gash him. "I've told you everything about me. All my pain" my hand lands on my chest. "I know, and I'm thankful you trust me enough to tell me all of that but baby" I cut him off,  "Answer me this, does Marcus have any intentions of ever actually letting you go after Troy is gone?" His mouth shuts, but his eyes are so bare to me. They tell me truth, even if he won't. "I can't believe this shit" I mutter, turning away from him. "Brooklyn, listen to me" I give him the finger while my back is facing him. "Listen to me dammit!" He turns me around with such force, if he wasn't holding onto me, I'm sure I would have hit the ground. "Everything, and I do mean everything, that I do is for you. I'm an asshole, we've established that. But everything you love and know about me is true. I know I've kept you in the dark but that's because I'm a selfish prick who would rather die than risk driving you away where I can't protect you. I'd die for you a thousand times and take all your pain as my own if I could. Don't ever think I don't love you because I do. I love you so much it hurts. I don't know what I'd do if Troy ever got a hold of you. Do you have any idea what it was like to see you in pain because of him? How much it broke me? I should have killed him back then, but I was a coward. I'll do better. I'll be better for you." His eyes glisten with threatening tears as he keeps his gaze on me.

"I don't want you to die for me" I finally say, cupping his face. "I want the rest of my life to be with you. I know you love me. I love you too, but I need you to start being honest with me. I'm sick of being kept in the dark." He shuts his eyes, holding back tears. "I know" he breaths. "You're always there for me. Let me be there for you. Please." He lets out a shaky sigh, thinking for a moment. "Hey," I coo, forcing him to look at me. "You remember when you spent every night laying on that hospital chair, holding my hand?" He nods. "Do you have any idea how that small gesture made me feel?" He shakes his head. "It made me feel like the safest person in the world. Like nothing could touch me and I had nothing to fear as long as you kept ahold of my hand. The world could be burning around us and I wouldn't care, because I had you by my side. You have no idea how loved you make me feel baby. Let me protect you too. I don't want to feel useless." He furrows his eyebrows as a smile that doesn't quite meet his ears appears on his clean shaven face. "Doll, you're anything but useless. You're the strongest person I know. And you do make me feel that way too baby. I just... I can't imagine how lost I'd be if anyone ever took you from me. I wouldn't survive it." There it is. The raw and ugly truth. Colton and I are lost without one another. We have no idea how to survive without the other. Being together is what makes us strong. So what am I supposed to do if one of us falls?

He's cooking in my kitchen right now... in nothing but his underwear. The sight thrills me. "You just going to perv on me the whole night?" He jokes, flipping whatever's in the pan. "Don't act like you don't like it" I say, sipping my wine. "Hey, I've been thinking... what if" I take a sip before I carry on, "what if we just left?" He stops. "We could go anywhere. Marcus won't find you, Troy won't find us. We'll be safe." My eyes drift across his as he comes over to me, painfully slow. "I'm not going on the run Brooklyn." His eyes tell me not to push. "But-"
"There's no 'but' Brooklyn. It's not happening. If you want to leave, leave. I won't stop you. But I'm not leaving. This is my mess and I'll fix it. Do what you want if you don't want to stand by me anymore." His words catch me off guard. It hurt to know he's perfectly fine with me just walking away. It made me think, can he walk away from me that easy too? "I never said I don't want to stand by you" it comes out as a whisper, although I tried to be strong for myself and not let him see how he had affected me. "I just don't want what comes next. I want to protect you from falling down that rabbit hole, Colt. Killing someone, no matter who... it breaks something in you. And I don't know who you'd become if that ever happens." I look down into my lap, like a hurt child. He kneels down beside me, lifting my chin to meet his eyes. "Whatever happens baby, I'll still be me. I just don't want to run. It's not worth being afraid forever. I want you to live baby. Let me save you the only way I can. My sacrifice is for the both of us. Just trust me" he kisses my forehead before he gets back up and resumes cooking.

I come back into the kitchen after doing the bed, to find Colton has made the most stunning set up on my kitchen dining table. He's taken out my mothers blue china plates, the ones she got from her wedding day. Along with my mom and dads wedding champagne glasses. Written with 'king' in silver and 'queen' in gold on either one. There's a beer bottle set in the middle with a single red rose from our neighbours garden set in the centre. It stands out like a sore thumb, but I love it because it's him. Perfectly imperfect. "I hope you don't mind. I wanted it to look nice for you" he says, smiling sheepishly. I smile at him, tears welling in my eyes. "It's perfect."

We sit and eat the medium rare fillet steak he's cooked for us both, and I realise, this is all I want. Him and I, eating together in peace in our home, not afraid of anything or anyone.

When we finish, I help him clear the table. Whilst I dry the plates after he washes them, a thought crosses my mind. "What are you thinking?" He asks, handing me another plate. How the hell does he read me so well? "It's nothing. I was just wondering... what will it take for Marcus to let you go?" He begins to wash more slowly now, thinking of a good answer, I assume. "There's a rule his gang has." I wait for him to continue, stirring my hand for him to go on. "The person that kills Marcus can't be touched. But no one dares to because they're all lost loyal dogs." I sigh in relief, thinking it would have been something more ridiculous. "So? If you kill Marcus, no one can touch you. What's the problem?" He sighs, pitting the plate down. "The person that kills Marcus... has to take over the gang." My face goes white and my eyes grow wide. "So you're telling me... the only way you'll ever be free of him... is if you become him?" He nods slowly.

I fall to the ground, folding my knees up to my chest, crying as I wrap my hands around my legs. He falls to his knees beside me. "It's not fair. Why won't he leave you be? What more does he want from you?" I sob as he rubs my arm, trying to calm to. "He's mad because I left and showed him up when I was younger. He wants to make an example of me... to show others that no one ever really escapes him." I sob harder at his words. He doesn't deserve this. "I'm so sorry baby. You deserve better than me. I shouldn't have dragged you into this. This is why I wanted to drive you away at the beginning. To save you from a life of misery with me. After all... that's all it's been since you've met me" he whispers, bowing his head. "Are you crazy?" I manage to say through sobs. I look at him through teary eyes as he gives me a confused look. "My life hasn't been misery since I've been with you. It's been trying at times, sure, but it's been fucking amazing." I cup his face, "I've felt more alive with you than I ever have before. And I'll be damned if he's going to take that away from us." I kiss him before he can talk.

We're left breathless as he leans his head to mine. "We're a team right?" He asks through breaths. "Of course." His eyes are on mine now. "Then let's take them out like one." Those were the words that bought out the lioness in me. I'd do whatever it took to protect him. Because he'd lay his life down for me. An act of love that could never be beaten. Question remains: who's dying first?