In the arms of evil

Is this goodbye?

As I turn away from Coltons pleading eyes, I turn towards a satisfied Troy, calling me over with his hand like a master calling his obedient dog.

I stop a few feet away and Troy grows annoyed, face twisting, giving me a silent warning. "I'll come back with you if you promise you won't hurt him." He balls his hand up into a fist, shaking it by his side as his face scrunches up in rage. "Fine. Now... come here bitch" he spits. I gulp down, giving Colton one last look before I start walking again. "I'm sorry" I mouth, tears falling. He shakes his head, begging me to go back to him. I'm doing this for you baby. It's my turn to protect you this time.

Once I reach Troy, he pulls me into him and turns me so my back is against his chest. He sniffs my hair and squeezes my waist, causing me to wince. "Mmmm, I've missed you baby." I cringe at his words as I look towards Colton, slowly breaking at the sight. "Let her go!" Colton comes rushing towards us, and Troy pulls out the gun once more, causing Colton to fall to his knees and beg. Seeing him bow down to his poor excuse for a brother made my heart tremor. I don't wish him any pain, but I know that watching me go is breaking him. "Please Troy... let her go. I'm sorry I was a crappy big brother. You're in this mess because of me and I abandoned you when you needed me the most. Please Troy, don't hurt her because of my mistakes." He sounds weak. Broken. Like I've torn his heart out and he's watching it beat in the palm of my hand, begging for it back.

Troy gives me a once over as he hears me sniffle. "You bitch!" Troy shoved me down to my knees, causing Colton to flinch. "Ah ah ah," he shakes the gun, "you know... I was going to let you live when she came to me willingly. I was feeling merciful. But now, I think not." He pulls me from my hair to look up at Colton. He looks... like he's accepting his fate. "No..." I whisper, sobbing at him, defeated. He gives me a weak smile, whispering "I love you. Im sorry princess."
No, I will not let him die because of me. I'm sick of people giving their lives for me because I chose to love someone who has only brought me pain and shame. It doesn't take me long to make my decision. Colton Anderson, you will not die tonight.

Before Troy pulls the trigger, I break from his grip and lunge in front of Colton, shielding his body with my own. "I'm sorry" I whisper sweetly as the gun crackles and my chest begins to burn. "NOOOOO!" Coltons scream echos throughout the forest as his arms come around me, shielding my fall. Troy growls behind me "stupid girl!" I hear him yell as he cocks the gun again. Colton pays him no attention as he focuses all his attention on me and the blood that continues to stain the floor around us. "Why?" Coltons voice breaks, holding me to him. "It's okay" I cup his face weakly. "Look away" I whisper to him, as my hand comes down to my side. "What?" His face is riddled with confusion, but before I have time to explain, my hand falls to the gun that fell from my waist when I stepped in front of Troy. I pull it up, and with all the strength I have, I empty the clip into Troy's chest. Crimson stains the pure snow beneath us. It's such a beautiful setting to such a tragic ending.

Once his body slumps to the ground, the gun falls from my hand and I relax into Coltons arms. "Baby... Brooklyn no." He holds me firmly "stay with me baby. Come on. Don't leave me. Not tonight. Not yet." He begs, crying into me. "I'm free Colton. He can't hurt us a-anymore." My voice is weak, much like my body, and I feel myself grow tired. "Stay alive for me baby... please." Colton whisks me into his arms and runs to the car, settling me down along him as he speeds off. "Stay with me babygirl. Please don't leave me. I'm begging you, I can't do this without you" tears stream down his chiselled face. I give him one last look. A broken man. I'm so sorry my love for bringing you to this place of loneliness and broken hearts. I wanted to leave you in peace and happiness. I have stricken down my demons and with that, I can now rest. But how can I rest in peace knowing you are in pain? Be free, my love. Let me go....

I feel a calmness take over me as he looks down at me and gives me a reassuring smile through tears. He'll be okay without me. I can rest now. As my eyes slowly begin to shut, I hear him yelling at me to stay awake. "No baby... please" he cries. "I love you. Don't leave me" he says into my hair as he pulls me further into him, shaking with fear. Thats the last thing I hear as my eyes finally shut.

"I love you too, Colton. This wasn't your fault. I knew how this would end. Either with my life ending... or yours, and god as my witness, I swore it would not be you." My body shakes as I use the last of my strength to tell him I love him. "No baby, this isn't right, you're not supposed to leave me like this... please" he begs, tears falling.

I'll be with my family soon, resting by an ocean in the clouds. Forever smiling down on you. My heart beats slows, barely an echo of a heartbeat drumming through my chest. Instead, a final breeze of air escapes me, my head sinks into his trembling chest, and I feel my soul slipping further away from this world of sinners and saints.

I never imagined I'd leave this world like this. Broken and in disrepair. But the truth of it is, we're all a little broken. It's what makes us unimaginably human. It maims us and leaves parts of us scattered across the floor. But every now and then, this remarkable thing happens and we fall in love. With life, with other people, with ourselves. There are glimmers of hope that reflect on our souls through shimmers of light from the moon that we all tell our secrets too. We know pain well, Colton and I. So well, it has become our friend. Some of us are born for greatness. I'm not one of them. But I can leave this world knowing my life made a difference to the people around me. Lucy finally had a mother figure. Cara had the sister she never got. Colton... Colton had love. For as little and short as it was, he still had it. I gave him a moment of happiness and I can die knowing I made a small difference in the chaos that is his life.

It would seem, that even a world as dark as this, light lives throughout. Colton Anderson, you were my darkness that grew into light by my touch. I hope that in my departure from this place, you find the strength to hold my light within you and pass it onto the next one who needs it. I love you Colton. I loved you the moment I saw you and will forever more. Goodbyes are not forever and they certainly don't mean the end. We will meet again, and I will wait for you until your last dying breath.