Tormented love

Chapter 14

"Anna, are you ready for.." I zoned the remainder of the sentence out, my day dream of reality was too much. It really was. "Anna, did you hear me?" I looked up to see the criminal invading in on my day dream..or more like memory. Fresh memory. It was far too fresh for me to be comprehending any of this.

To my utter surprise the criminal behind the pestering voice was my teacher. "Oh sorry ma'am?" I tried to get her to clarify. Just once more. I believe she's clarified a few times by now. She huffed to show her annoyance and glared at me before restating her question that I had no idea how many times she'd asked in the first place.

"Are you ready for your presentation?" I nodded and grabbed my papers, my legs were wobbly. Was this because of the thought of talking in front of a group of people? Probably not. More than likely has something to do with the reality I keep drawing myself back to. I was not focused on this presentation or on this class. I didn't care about either one of those two things. I was focused on last night. I was remembering every detail of last night.

Was I in love with Zach the first time I said it? Slightly. Did I fall more in love with him last night? Absolutely. "My research was on the medical attention needed for an aortic heart replacement." I mumbled.

"Valve." Zach whispered. I could see Jake glaring at me from the back of the class, he looked confused. Then a light of sadness shown over him. Or disappointment? I wasn't sure. I didn't care much.

"Huh?" I looked at Zach. He looked worried. "I didn't hear you." I stated.

"Aortic heart valve replacement." He corrected me, thats not what I said? Is that why Jake is glaring at the two of us like this. I hoped it was only because I'd gotten up here and have been confused the entire time. Still I wasn't sure. Rohan whispered something to Jake and he jerked away. Like Rohan had just burned him. Oh, he was mad about something. There was no reason to be glaring at me though. What've I done to him?

"Right valve replacement." I started.

"Dear, what kind of valve replacement?" The teacher caught me off guard. I was confused but the thoughts in my head keep replaying and wouldn't let me focus in on today, on the present. The right now in which would cost me 3 test grades.

"Anna are you okay?" Amber asked, I scowled. I felt lost but I also believed I was doing everything the assignment called for. Why is everyone correcting me?

Is this what happens when you lose your virginity. Everything is zoning out and I can't get into focus of what's really going on. "Zach, I need to leave. I can't focus." The teacher chuckled.

"Anna, you should be telling me that not Zach, are you feeling okay honey?" I started to nod my head because well, I'm not sick. I shook it instead so hopefully she'd let me leave. My mind was frantic, not exactly. I just couldn't focus. It was like I'd focus and then forget what it was I was talking about. I'd ramble on and on. "Go ahead, go get some air. Maybe you can stop by the nurses office. She's in today."

I stepped out of the school and decided that since this was my last period I would wait for Zach in his car. I wasn't going back in. There is too much going on for me in that room. Honestly, it's all in my head. Crammed on top of everything I'm supposed to be doing is the memory flooding in.

Ally left the apartment after we finished our binge watch of Zach's favorite Netflix series. I didn't put up an argument because although it wasn't my favorite I loved the show.

"Anna?" Zach's dry, cracked voice called my name. His hand rested on my thigh, rubbing lightly on the area. Chills were sent throughout my body. He used his other hand and pointed a long index finger to his water bottle. "Can you pass me that water?" A smile found its way to my face and he kisses at my calve that he was laying against. A sweet and innocent, but daring kiss. It left a tingling sensation on the area that seemed to spread like wild fire until I reached over and grabbed the bottle, passing it to him.

"Do you think you'll be comfortable here?" I nodded my head I should be shouldn't I? Sure I missed my parents but I'd survive this was very warming. "Good, because you know you're welcome to stay with me." I glance at him sorrowfully, I wished I was that simple minded.

"Zach, that's too easy. I can't. What would everyone say?" He looked to me, he seemed irritated.

"So don't worry what everyone would say, it's mine and your business alone." I sighed and he sensed the discomfort. "With you on edge and my mom around, I don't get to do much of this though huh?" I stared at him concerned. And confused.

He reached across me and used his hand to gently bring my face to his. His lips against mine sent a fire through me that I craved, his teeth rugged at my lip and I gave in. I let him nibble at my bottom lip as an unknowing moan escaped. It was embarrassing but I was too involved to be embarrassed.

He was not embarrassed by far. His tongue met mine seconds after the moan escaped and he'd found his way on top of me. Sexual chemistry was an understatement for the way he made me feel at the most sensitive place, in my most sensitive time.

"Anna?" I jerked in my seat and looked toward the driver seat. "Woah, you okay love?" I did the most normal thing I could do. I began sobbing.

I didn't know why if I'm honest, but the tears wouldn't stop.

"Baby what's wrong?" The plea in his voice made me weak he was begging to know why I was upset. My own crying upset him.

"I love you." I reached across to hug him and he lightly chuckled.

"Okay and I love you sweetheart but can you please tell me what's wrong?" I could but would he laugh?

I could tell Zach that all day I couldn't get him and I in our most vulnerable time together out of my head or I could say nothing was wrong. If I told him the truth, he could laugh. He's be with so many people before me and I've been with no one. If I let it escape that I'm in love with the boy who took my virginity with absolutely no mercy. Believe me when I say none. How would he react? Would he still feel the same? "Baby?" He questioned me again and I looked up at him. "Anna, darling. Talk to me. Did I do something wrong?" I shook my head, he hadn't. The problem was he did everything right, too right. How many times has he done it before.

"Zach I'm hurting." I sobbed more. "My legs were shaky. I thought it was just the crowd, making me nervous. It's not Zach." He looked at my face better, taking in every feature.

"Did I hurt you?" Again I shake my head.

"Then why are you crying princess?" I pull on his shirt, fidgeting with it as he tries holding my hand.

"I haven't done that before." He looks at me knowingly.

"I know Anna, it's okay." It's okay?

"And you have." My sobs stop but my eyes are still are red and swollen, puffy even.

"I know I have Anna, last night was different." He'd never told me anything last night. Just held me after, neither of us spoke so how was I to know?

"How?"

"They were just some girl. You're so much more than that Anna. I actually care about you." I pull his shirt closer to me and lean to kiss his neck

"It's all I've thought about today Zack. It won't go away." He laughs this time and I smack his arm. "It's not funny."

"I've thought about it to. Everytime I seen you basically limp down the hall today I was reminded. Your a little freak Anna." I bite at his arm and he laughs. "Hey now, quit it. I'm glad to know why you've been acting strange today. But if all you needed was for me to slide those silk.."

"Zach!" I yell as I slap his arm again and he laughs "I'm just saying. I would be much obliged." I laugh this time and roll my eyes to look out the window. "So after today I'll assume, your first time was good. I was good to you?" I nod my head. "And you my dear made it feel like it was my first time all over again." Sure didn't seem that way.