It's Hard To Be The One Who Stays [Kurtbastian]

Relationship Talk (December, 2011)

"I don't know what Kurt is even thinking," his dad says, and Kurt hears the pots and pans clatter in the sink.

Kurt freezes where he is, just a few steps from entering the kitchen.

"He's young and tough and smart, I'm sure he'll be fine," he hears Carole's voice soothe.

He's suddenly glad his soft socks hadn't made any noise as he was coming. Kurt knows it's wrong, but he inches over to the wall and listens.

Because his dad hasn't been... his dad is his dad, so he's always going to love and be proud of Kurt, but Kurt knows his dad well enough to know that he's been unhappy. And Kurt is almost positive it's because of his relationship with Sebastian.

But Kurt doesn't know for sure, because neither of them have said anything to each other, not even when his dad came to pick him up for winter break and found Kurt packing the last of his luggage with Sebastian sprawled all over his bed. His dad had said a stiff "hello" and "thanks," while Sebastian bolted up from the bed and tripped over all the pleasantries and hugged Kurt goodbye hard enough to bruise.

So yeah, he decides to eavesdrop. He silently thanks Sebastian for keeping him up last night with an entirely ridiculous text conversation and making him miss breakfast.

"But he's a teenage boy! What does he even think he's doing, running around with that Smythe boy? I mean, if you even knew half of the things I've been told about him, Carole—"

"Burt," she says, patiently. "I'm not sure you want to judge a boy that neither of us have ever sat down properly with by the neighborhood gossip."

"Finn told me about him!"

"And I'm sorry to say this about my son, but he's not exactly the greatest judge of character," Carole says.

For a moment, there's just the sound of water flowing.

"What's really bothering you, Burt?" Carole asks.

His dad sighs.

"It's not... It's not just that he's... whatever he is with the Smythe boy. I saw that coming. It's just that... I raised him, Carole. I saw him daydream about his Name, the perfect meeting, the perfect wedding. I was sure he would be one of those kids that would wait for his Name."

"And instead, he's dating Smythe, and refusing to go back to McKinley, and hanging out with all these rich kids. Sometimes I feel like he's changed so much in the past year that I don't even know him anymore," his dad says.

Kurt bites his lower lip, his vision blurring.

For years and years now, it's been just him and his dad. Even now, with Carole, in some ways, it's still just him and his dad.

He feels like the worst sort of son.

He hears movement, and he imagines Carole laying a gentle hand on his dad's shoulder or hugging him loosely.

"You know," Carole says softly, so that Kurt has to strain to hear, "I had a pre-Name relationship too. A lot of people I know did. And a lot of people I know dated around even after they turned eighteen, before they meet their person. Those relationships... they fade naturally. He's eighteen. It's not a bad or even an abnormal thing."

"But even if he does—why pick Sebastian? Why not someone kind and sweet, like, like, I don't know, like Sam, or Finn, or Artie?"

"Well," Carole says, and Kurt thinks she sounds amused. "For one thing, I'm pretty sure none of those boys are gay."