20 years, I was never given a voice,
That could be heard.
In my heart, of colour black is a colossal void,
And my heart thunders in fear.
Anticipating your next words.
Expecting your next actions.
Hoping, the repercussions,
Could be bargained,
For something less painful,
For something not blameful.
20 years, passed by as a blur,
Could this one be different?
No. Thundered a heavy voice.
Why shall you have that pleasure?
The cynical smile,
I will forget not.
Ingrained in my brain with a knife.
Because i got everything i never wished for.
The fallacy of your sweet words.
The efficacy of my broken heart.
Made me stand there in the rain,
My favourite dress, all torn and bloodied,
My hands, rubbing my chest to numb the pain,
My eyes bleeding from all the turmoil within.
Yet you stood there,
Feeding the malevolent beast.
My tears became your water.
That quenched your thirst.
My ragged breath became your air.
That became your oxygen.
My pain became your happiness,
It was addictive.
You couldn't live with it.
But you couldn't live without it,
20 years, i wished,
You could see what you're doing to me,
At least once.
But you didn't.
It was a precarious step i took.
To step out of the four walls you caged me in.
But, you didn't approve,
You grabbed my wings, pulled me back,
And locked the door.
Forever...
Go where i tell you to go.
Say what i tell you to say.
Wear what i tell you to wear.
Look where i tell you to look.
For 20 years, this has been my life,
In the fear of next 20 being the same,
I would say good bye.
And let you be happy without any pain.
~~
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My Elegies.
PuisiAn assemblage of poetry for the unheard emotions and voices. Death is not the only tragedy a loving person suffers through. There are many more. Walk with me through the pages, to know that someone out there loves you a lot. These are me elegies t...
