Secrets {Tf2 x Reader}

Chapter 6: The Meeting

2nd person pov

The next day you sat up in bed again without sleep. Your eyes had black bags under them, you were very tired but you couldn't help it. The nightmares always got to you..getting ready for the day you just put on a white T-shirt with black leggings and a pair of boots. Walking out into the Mess hall for breakfast you kept your head low not wanting to meet anyones gaze. Finally arriving at the entrance you noticed how nobody was there "huh?" You managed to say out of confusion. The guys were usually up before you, it's very rare to find your teammates missing. You grabbed some cereal and milk. A few minutes into your breakfast someone finally came in..it was Scout "Heya toots, why are ya up so late?" He asked "what? What do you mean?" You rose your brow "it's three in tha afternoon" Scout replied as he grabbed a 'BONK' from the fridge "o-oh" you looked at your bowl that was now empty "we'll like to see ya in the Rec room later" Scout walked over to the door "What time?" You stopped him "after you finish your breakfast" he left. Sighing you got up, grabbed you bowl then went to wash it.

After your breakfast you walked to the Rec room where all your mercenary friends were seated in order. Being the last class you sat next to Spy "So why did you guys want me to come here?" You asked while sitting down "'e want to know what ees happen'ng to 'ou" Spy gave you a serious look. You knew what they were talking about now "I..uh..." you looked away "Please chère, 'e worry for 'ou" Spy grabbed your hand into his "'e want to know what's wrong" you pulled your hand out of his grasp "I..I...I can't say.." you had tears forming in your eyes, Scout who was on the opposite side of you, placed a hand on your shoulder. You felt very uncomfortable by all the stares you were getting "Darling, we can't help ya if you don't tell us" Engie took off his helmet "Y-you...you wouldn't understand!" You shouted...you shouted..you never rose your voice at the men like this....you covered your mouth with one of your hands 'Ugh, I'm so sensitive..fuck me!' You were in your head thinking to yourself now as your fellow teammates stared shocked at your expression "I...I'm sorry" you got up "I must go now" you tried to walk away, opened the door but it was slammed back closed. The hand that closed it was large, it seemingly belonged to Heavy "Leetle gurl must sit down" he said "why? You can't make me." You dared say to him. Heavy frowned, you were never rude to the men, not even once. Heavy put his arms around your waist "H-Hey! W-What are you doing?!"you panicked as Heavy carried you back to your seat. He placed you down and you were even more humiliated now.

You let out a groan of annoyance and looked down at your lap "SPEAK UP MAG- I MEAN CUPCAKE" Soldier suddenly yelled, you smiled a bit from him messing up but the smile didn't last "Y/N....'e need to know..what's wrong....vhy are 'ou so different all of a zudden?" Spy looked down at you "What happened?.....if 'e did anyzhing wrong..we're zorry....'e just vant the old Y/N back" a couple drop of your tears fell onto your lap..you never expected them to be so worried " I know I do.." Scout suddenly said "I miss tha old Y/N... She was happy, excited, brave, bold..many words that I can describe her as..I want her back" he looked down at you "I....I-it's just!....You don't know how hard it is to suffer! How hard it is to let everything you've ever loved leave you" you cried "I've tried so hard! But it always comes out wrong! I...I can't do it anymore.." you crossed your arms now hugging yourself "I love you guys....you guys are like family to me.." you finally smiled.

"I could never imagine my life without you all..." get mercs now feeling emotional started shifting in their seats so they wouldn't start crying "I know you all want me happy again..you guys know when I lie...you guys probably know when I fake my happiness" you laughed out awkwardly as the men saddened their frowns. You kept your head low but was soon pulled out of your chair and into a group hug "We love you Y/N!" The men cheered. Putting you back down "but no matter how hard you ask...I won't have the courage to tell you" you tried walking away but was grabbed by the arm by Sniper "Whoi not?" His tone sounded sad, worried, concerned, and more. You turned back to look at him, just as the men noticed the tears in your eyes "Y-You guys wouldn't believe me!" You snatched your arm away "You'll just hate me! You'll think I did the wrong thing! The last person I cared for more than my life was my brother! And....I-I couldn't keep my promise! I'm just a liar! It's best if you throw me out!" You ran to the door "I'm sorry.." you said opening the door "but the old girl you wish for to come back.." you looked over your shoulder as a couple of tears fell "She's gone.." you walked out..leaving your teammates broken at your words...you ran down the halls of the R.E.D Base with your ocean eyes.

Shutting the door behind you, you pressed your back against it and slid down slowly ending up sitting on the floor. You felt ashamed, humiliated, embarrassed, and so much more. You never ment to hurt your mercenary friends with your words..but the old you isn't you anymore....you sat there crying as your fellow teammates were on the opposite side of the door listening to your cries..yet wondering to knock on the door...