Set My Heart On Fire

18 'Sometimes you can't recover'

Aiden's eyes stared up at the ceiling, the emptiness of the room mocked her as she lay on her bed with her hands resting on her chest.

She closed her eyes and tried to wash the thoughts away, shaking the memory of the blood on her hands, the mixture of her own blood as well as Nancy's covering her face. She brought her hand up to her face and opened the fist, revealing the small diamond ring with blood covering half of it.

I do

The words slammed into her mind as she dropped her hand to her side and felt the knot in her throat grow tighter. Twenty-four hours ago she was holding the woman she loved in her arms as she bled out on the floor. Now here she was, just as lonely as before. She wanted to cry but her eyes couldn't bring themselves to. She wanted to scream but the guilt made her choke.

Her entire team hadn't visited her, they knew she needed to be alone for a few days while she tried to recover, but they began to worry and thought that maybe there are some things you can't recover from.

Aiden sat up and tucked her legs into her chest, she stood up and walked out of her room, she needed to do something. She needed to be focused and alert, she needed to be there for her team as they grieved.

She grabbed her boots and slammed her feet inside them, tying the laces tightly before grabbing her bag and keys. She started her car and pulled out of the driveway as fast as she could, shift was in ten minutes and she could get there in five, so she didn't worry.

She parked the car and opened the double doors, the second she did, she saw Hammond, Rosen, Mills, Tripp, and Skelton standing there staring at her.

"What?" Aiden stared back at them and folded her arms.

"Captain, we uh—we didn't expect you to be back so soon" Hammond let go of Rosen's hand and walked towards Aiden.

"Well I am. I need to get to work, I need to do something so, excuse me" she moved past Hammond and made her way to her office, but he stopped her halfway as the others walked away silently.

"Hey, you need to be at home, you need to grieve" she placed both hands on her shoulders.

"I don't need to grieve. I'm fine, okay?" she tried to move past him, but he stopped her again.

"Aiden, I know you. Twenty-four hours ago the love of your life died in your arms. You can't expect me to believe that you are fine" he placed a hand on her cheek.

"I don't expect you to do anything except to follow my orders and don't even tell me how to feel" she pushed past him and threw open the door to her office, slamming it behind her as she leant against the closed door and sunk down to the floor.

She clenched her teeth and tried to hold back the tears as hard as she possibly could. She tucked her knees into her chest and wrapped her arms around them, she couldn't fight it as the tears started pouring out of her eyes as they rolled down her cheek and dropped onto her knees.

She breathed in deeply and tried to calm herself down, trying to stop thinking about her, it would only bring her more pain to think of that gorgeous face.

Aiden stood up and tightened her ponytail, "I'm good, I'm good" she sniffed and wiped her eyes. She walked over to her desk and sat down in the chair. Her eyes immediately landed on the photo that sat on her desk.

She remembered that day, it was a few days after she proposed, and they went to the park to plan everything. Though a kid there was bit by a dog and they had to ditch everything and help him. The photo captured Nancy on Aiden's back, Nancy was kissing her cheek and Aiden stood there smiling.