Bruised Knuckles and Empty Lies

Chapter 12

Derek's POV

I checked my watch one more time as I leaned against my car. Alex should be done by now. Maybe they started late. I was in the church parking lot, waiting to pick up Alex, as usual. This had become our routine, and both of us seemed to enjoy it.

She walked out of the double doors, looking around frantically. Alex didn't look good at all. I began walking toward her, and she looked in my direction briefly, but she seemed to look right through me. Alex walked a few steps before dropping her bag and collapsing into a ball against the wall of the church.

"Alex!" I called, sprinting over to her. Kneeling down in front of her, I instantly knew she was having a panic attack, and by the looks of it, this was going to be hard to get her out of it. I mentally ran through everything I remembered about panic attacks and how to stop them. She muttered something, but I couldn't understand it.

"Hey, babygirl, it's me, okay? It's Derek, and I'm right here with you. Can you hear me, sweetheart?" I asked. Her hands moved from over her ears to the back of her head. She curled them into fists. I readied myself to grab her if she started hitting herself, but thankfully, she didn't. Every bone in her body appeared to be trembling. "Sweetheart, is it okay if I touch your head?" She didn't reply. She didn't even seem like she heard what I said. I slowly reached out to her, ready to retract my hands if she didn't want it there. I gently touched both sides of her head to see how she reacted. The last thing I wanted to do was make her feel even more uncomfortable. She flinched at the sudden contact, but she didn't move. I applied a little more pressure against the sides of her head, trying to help bring her back to reality.

"It's okay, Alex, I got you, okay? Nothing bad's going to happen while I'm here. I got you. You're okay." I kept talking softly and slowly, reassuring her that I'm here and she's okay.

After a few minutes of sitting with her, she started to move.

"That's it, babygirl, you got it. It's me, it's Derek, and I got you, okay? I got you sweetheart." Alex's head slowly moved from her knees, and she glanced up at me with red eyes and tear-stained cheeks. She blinked a few times, adjusting to the light. Alex moved her hands and sucked in a harsh breath. That's when I knew she was starting to come back.

"Let me see, sweetheart," I insisted. She slowly brought her hands in front her, fingers still curled in a fist. There was fresh blood beading up around her fingernails. As gently as I could, I uncurled her fingers to get a better look at her bloody palms. She dug her nails so hard into her palm that she broke the skin. Thankfully, she wouldn't need stitches, but she'd still need to be bandaged up. Alex looked from her hands up to me.

"I..." she started to say, but she couldn't get any other words out.

"I know, babygirl." I already knew she didn't mean to. Alex seemed to snap into the rest of reality altogether, looking around frantically before trying, and failing, to stand up.

"Woah, it's okay, slow down."

"I wanna leave," Alex told me, her eyes filling back up with tears.

"Okay. Let me help you." She let me pull her up, and she could stand okay which was reassuring. I grabbed her bag off the ground. "Can you walk?" She nodded hesitantly, so I offered her my arm, which she gratefully took, and I led her to my car.

Once we were both inside and settled, I turned to her. "Maybe we can hang out at my place until I have to take you home. It looks like you need some time to cool down." Alex nodded, staring at the drying blood on her palms.

As I drove, we sat in silence. Every once in a while, she would shift around and poke at the cuts in her palms. Alex still seemed a little out of it, but maybe it was just the exhaustion that comes from an attack that intense.

"Distract me," she said, breaking the silence in the car. I briefly turned to look at her. She was fidgeting more, and I was worried she would lead herself to another attack.

"Of course, babygirl. We just finished working a serial killer case in Toledo. He was going after nuclear families. A mom, dad, one son, and one daughter, all with a dog. He ended up killing three families before we could get to him. We were almost too late. No doubt that family has some serious stuff to get through, but they will." Alex seemed to be half-listening, but her knee no longer bounced and her hands were still, so I took that as a good sign. I kept talking about more of our past cases without going too much into detail that I would get her thinking about the hurt she's been through.

We finally pulled into the parking lot of my apartment, and we wordlessly went up to my apartment, as I kept my hand on her shoulder the whole time, reminding her that I was still here for her.

Author's note: sorry for the shorter chapter! i'll update again tomorrow! stay safe :)