Bruised Knuckles and Empty Lies

Chapter 16

Alex's POV

After our argument, we drove in silence the rest of the way. I guess "argument" isn't the right word. Outburst, maybe? Either way, we had both said what we had said, and to be honest, I felt a little better after getting some of my anger out. It might not be the healthiest habit, but it does the trick.

Derek led me into the BAU, holding the glass doors open for me, letting me walk in first, then putting a hand on my shoulder to keep me grounded. All eyes were on us. Although not everybody was staring, I could feel the weight in the room after I walked in. As we passed Reid, he wouldn't even look me in the eye. Okay, something's seriously wrong here.

We walked up the stairs and to Hotch's office, stopping at his closed door. The blinds were shut, but I had no idea if that was normal or not. I was guessing not. Derek knocked on the door before swinging it open at Hotch's voice telling us to come in.

I walked in with Derek behind me. The relatively small room was crowded. Hotch stood behind his desk, next to a teary-eyed Penelope Garcia. What shook me to my core was not Hotch's death-stare or Garcia's red eyes, but my foster parents. They sat in the two chairs on the other side of Hotch's desk. The second I walked in, both of them turned to look at me. Maribeth was dabbing her perfectly dry eyes with a tissue, and Dave, well, he was pretty emotionless, but that was normal. My mind instantly went to the money.

"Wait, I didn't do anything," I tried to explain.

"We know," Hotch simply said. "Please, have a seat." Hotch gestured to the empty chair next to Maribeth. I crossed my arms over my chest, backing up a few steps, and bumping into Derek by accident. The sudden contact made me jump, but I kept my composure.

"I'd rather stand," I replied.

"Hotch, what's going on?" Derek questioned.

"Alex," Hotch ignored Derek, "my team and I have been helping crack an online child predator ring case involving leaders in the Christian faith." Oh fuck. My mouth went dry, and my heart beat too fast for me to even feel a pulse. My fingertips wrapped around the sides of my shirt, hugging the fabric closer to my body. "We are focused on catching one priest, in particular, who has abused and exploited seven different children and teenagers, posting pornographic, nonconsensual videos."

"So?" My voice nearly gave me away.

"You were in one of these videos."

"I don't know what you're talking about," I argued, trying to strip any emotion away from my voice.

"Yes, you do. Give us his name," Hotch's voice boomed with urgency. I shook out my hands in a failed effort to get rid of the anxiety that was building up. Glancing over at Maribeth, she didn't seem shocked at all, just upset that I was about to give him up. Penelope sniffed once, but she mostly contained her emotions. She held a laptop, which, I assumed, had the evidence on it. Her eyes hadn't touched that screen the entire time I'd been here.

My shaking hands drifted up to my hair, pulling at it, trying to distract myself from the tears that threatened to fall. In an instant, Derek was in front of me, slightly bent so his eyes were almost level with mine.

"Sweetheart, it's okay. Stay with me," he said soothingly. Both his hands held my shoulder square so I had nowhere else to look but at him. "We just need a name. Take a deep breath and let it come out, okay?" That's the thing: I couldn't breathe. The few breaths that I managed to take had been shallow, quick, and forced. I shut my eyes, attempting to ground myself just enough to spit out his name. Come on, his name. His name.

"Father Jared Patrick," I let out all in one breath, starting the cycle of talking in quick breaths without an opportunity to let the air back out.

"Let's go," Hotch said, exiting the room. "Morgan?"

"Babygirl, take some deep breaths for me, come on, let's sit down," Derek soothed, but I knew Hotch needed him.

"Go," I forced out.

"Alex-"

"Go." Derek stopped, mentally debating what to do.

"I'll be back before you know it. Garcia?" Garcia put down her laptop and made her way over to me. "I'll be right back, I promise." Derek gave me a tender kiss on the forehead before following Hotch out.

"Woah, hey, loosen that grip for me," Garcia warned, talking my hands and gently pulling them from my hair. I didn't realize they were still there. Strands of hair that I accidentally pulled out stuck to my palms. Shit. I looked back up at her, knowing I was starting to lose touch.

"Thank you so much, Miss Garcia, but we really should be getting home," Maribeth smiled her sickly-sweet smile. She forcefully grabbed my arm, and the sudden contact pushed me into a full blown panic attack. I pushed her off of me, losing my balance and falling to the floor. I couldn't control my breathing. We were past that.

"Oh, come on. Alexis, stop being so overdramatic, and listen to your mother!" Dave yelled, walking toward me.

Before I knew it, Penelope had stepped between me and my foster parents, showing her Mama Bear side.

"Get the hell out of here right now!" Penelope yelled.

"How dare you-"

"Get out before I have you both charged with accessory to sexual abuse of a minor!" That got their attention, but I had no idea what was said after that. My head pounded. My heart stopped, then started, then stopped again. I couldn't hear anything over the sound of my ragged breathing. I shut my eyes. Oh god, when will this stop?