Bruised Knuckles and Empty Lies

Chapter 5

TW: abuse

Alex's POV

Father Jared closed the door to his office, but it was also where he got ready, so it felt like a pretty open space. Somehow, that made me feel more vulnerable.

"So," he said, sitting down in his padded chair behind his desk while I was stuck sitting in a hard wooden chair. "Let's just get right to it, shall we?" I reached into my bag and pulled out my notebook. I was supposed to write in it every day about God or whatever, but I always ended up rushing to finish it and writing down whatever will earn me brownie points from Father Jared. I dropped the half-filled notebook on his desk, and he gave me a warning glare before picking it up and reading through it.

Father Jared was a conventionally attractive guy in his late thirties to early forties, I'd say. The older women love him, and I'm pretty sure it's just because they all have massive crushes on him. I'd bet good money on the fact that any of them would leave their crusty husbands for a chance with this guy. During church, he's funny, charismatic, and outwardly a good guy all around. Unfortunately for me, behind closed doors, he's nothing like that at all.

"I can see through your writing that you're committed to a faithful life devoted to our Lord," he complimented me.

"Yes, Father, I am."

"See, you say that, but somehow, I can't seem to believe you. That is, if that's really you talking. Has the devil gotten his hold on your heart?"

"No, Father, I've been a good disciple." Jesus Christ, I sounded like the beginning of a bad porno. You gotta do what you gotta do though, and in my case, it was to act like a total Jesus freak to make him happy.

"Tell me this," Father said, closing my journal and placing it on his desk before folding his hands and leaning closer. "Have you had any...impure thoughts since I last saw you?"

"No, Father, I am committed to chastity."

"Are you sure? Your fidgeting hands seem to differ." I looked down, and sure enough, I was picking at my nails. It took everything in me to not roll my eyes and make fun of him.

"You're telling me," he began, "that you are no longer being plagued with homosexual thoughts and tendencies?"

"That's correct, Father." Father Jared stood up and started to pace behind me. I knew I couldn't turn around to look at him, so I kept my face toward the wall and trained my ears on him as my pulse quickened. He slowly got closer until his mouth was almost directly against my ear.

"Are you sure you haven't thought of how beautiful women are? They really are exquisite, aren't they?" he whispered, trying to trap me in my response.

"I have not had those thoughts, Father."

"Then swear it."

"I swear." I felt his eyes trained on me.

"Stand up," he commanded, so I did, brushing the back of my dress to make sure everything was still covered. He chuckled. As much as I tried to hide it, I knew he could hear my breathing speed up. As slowly as he could, Father Jared walked behind his desk and opened up his drawer, glancing up at me to make sure I was watching before pulling out something that made me flinch just seeing it. He smirked, admiring the wooden paddle. Father Jared returned to his current place behind me.

"Elbows on the desk."

"Father, please, I didn't-" my voice shook.

"Now!" I took in a deep breath and put my elbows on the desk and left my ass in the air, folding my hands.