Stepbrother - Bellarke fanfic

Chapter 35

Clarke's POV

That morning, I woke up very early. I knew Piper was awake, because I could hear her, but she hadn't woke anyone else yet, so I knew I had to be quick. Just when I tried to get out of bed, I felt a weight on my body, I glanced down at my stomach and there was an arm, grabbing me in a protective way. At first I freaked out a bit, but then I knew exactly who's arm it was. I gently grabbed it and took it off of me so I could escape without him waking up. I had slept so well that night, and I knew it was because Bellamy was here with me. He made me feel safe, even after everything that happened. I smiled staring at his messy curls, I couldn't stay away from him even if I wanted to. As much as I tried to deny it to everyone, myself included, I still loved him with all my heart. It broke me to realise he had to fuck it up, I was really hoping for a future with him. I sighed loudly before I finally turned away from his peaceful face. When I opened my eyes again, Octavia was standing right in front of me. She scared me so much I almost yelled at her but I remembered we weren't the only people in this room.

"Jeez Octavia, don't scare me like that!" I yelled-whispered giving her big eyes.

"You still love him don't you?" She totally ignored my previous statement. I was a bit shocked at her question, but it wasn't really something unusual for Octavia.

"Of course I do." I whispered. I didn't hear Piper anymore, maybe it was because of my mother or she might have fallen back asleep.

"Then why won't you forgive him?" She questioned.

"Octavia you know it's not that easy." I replied, getting a bit annoyed at her morning interrogation concerning my love life. She rolled her eyes, tilted her head a bit on the right and raised both her eyebrows while maintaining eye contact.

"Please Clarke. I get it, it hasn't been easy, but he is trying. Isn't that a sign he cares?"

"Of course he cares, that's not what's been bothering me."

"Then what has? Him trying to get you back, you both being unhappy without each other, you guys being incredibly hurt from this situation, Bell and I feeling guilty for all of this in the first place. What is it Clarke, what is it?" She asked while rubbing her eyes with her fingers and shaking her head slightly.

"I'm just not sure it's for the best, that's all." I managed to get out, my voice breaking slightly. Tears were beginning to form in my eyes as my vision slowly got blurry. Maybe it was because of Octavia's harsh tone or maybe the emotions of the past days. Maybe it was all because I was on my period, but no one knows that.

"So you think it's for the best for you guys to be apart? You think that being unhappy is what you deserve? Is that what you think?" The younger Blake said in a rude tone. I had enough of this.

"What I THINK Octavia is that I was also happy at first with Finn! I stayed with him even after the signs; him being aggressive when he was drunk, shouting at me and I don't want to make the same mistake here! I'm scared of getting hurt again, but you wouldn't understand that, because you did NOT go through all of that! So, are you happy Octavia now you know what I think!" I shouted at her, sobbing loudly and tears rolling down my face. Her's looked just the same, regret and fear showing on her facial features.

When I turned around to see if I had waken Bellamy up, I was devastated to see him sitting on my bed. He had a pained and hurt expression, he looked as if he was about to cry just like Octavia and I. I turned back around not being able to look at him in his beautiful brown eyes filled with tears.

"I, I- Clarke I'm so sorry I didn't mean it li-"

"I need some air." Was all I said before I stormed out of the bedroom, without even turning back around to look at the siblings. I grabbed Piper and walked out of the house. I walked on the beach in our backyard, the cold water hitting my bare feet. It was pretty early and there was nobody around the small private beach. The ocean was pretty, I wondered what would happen if I disappeared. I could buy a boat and leave with Piper. Navigate the sea, day and night, completely cut off from the rest of the world. What would it feel like, would I be lonely? Probably not because I had Piper and she was all I ever needed. Would I be happier and better off alone? Tears on my face from earlier were all dried, because I didn't feel like crying anymore.

This vacation was officially the worst vacation of my life. I was hurting so much but I felt so alone yet so overwhelmed. Everyone in my entourage was pitying me for my past but nobody really cared how I was feeling in the present moment. I might have pulled a fake smile on my face every day but even the people who knew me best would never even seem to realise. I was so tired of living this way, why couldn't I be happier for more then 2 days (exaggerating but you get the point.) As soon as I thought I had something figured out, a new problem would pop out and I would need to find the situation to please everyone but me.

"Clarke," My thoughts were interrupted by a deep voice I could recognise everywhere. I didn't even bother turning around, but I slowed down for him to walk at my side. He eventually came and we walked in silence for a few minutes before he spoke aloud again.

"Clarke, please just hear me out okay? I'm asking you to listen to me for 5 minutes." Bellamy pleaded.

"Then what?" I asked, staring straight ahead. I blushed a bit when I saw by the corner of my eye that he was still staring at me.

"Then you decide if you want me to leave you alone or not. Just know I'll always be waiting for you if you need more time to reconsider all of this." I nodded and got ready for him to begin as we still marched our feet full of sand splashing in the salty water.

"First of all, you need to know that I would never do something like what he has done. For you to only consider me and him even being alike is breaking my heart and I am so disgusted with myself. I am so sorry for all I've put you through, you don't deserve the pain I caused you. I wished I could take all of it back because I didn't mean any of the bullshit I said. I always loved you ever since I saw you fighting with your mother the first time I even saw you. You mean so much to me that whatever you'll decide in the end, I'll understand and respect that because I want you to be happy more than anything in the world. I'll always be waiting for you because you're the love of my life and I can't begin to imagine a life without you in it. Your love has changed me from the inside out. I know I don't deserve you, you deserve so much more, but I truly and deeply love you. Please forgive me Clarke. " He said. By the time he finished, we stopped walking and we were now staring into each other's eyes and I couldn't ignore the guilt in his. His puppy dog eyes had been crying because his eyes were red and puffy. He was almost begging me and I couldn't resist it.

Without even thinking, I pressed my lips against his passionately. He seemed a bit shocked at first but he kissed me back after a few seconds. He wrapped his arms around my waist and pulled me to him. Piper being asleep in my arms was keeping me from grabbing his messy morning curls I could barely resist. When we finally broke apart, Bellamy looked at me, his eyes full of hope. I smiled at him and he did the same.

"I know I don't deserve you, but I will spend the rest of my life trying to." (William C. Hannan) He said in a whisper, looking down at me. I brushed my nose against his cute nose and smiled while looking up at his miserable self.

"Nothing could ever change the way I feel about you." I whispered. He pressed a kiss on my forehead before letting me go. 

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A/N
So this is a short chapter but I think you are all happy about the way it ended am I right? This is really important, school has restarted for me so I will have to post less often, I am really busy.

Anyways, if you have any suggestions, please leave them in the comments. I you enjoyed, please vote, share and comment. Thank you for reading!

Very appreciated my loves! 💕💕💕