Perfume • Woosan | Ateez

s e v e n t e e n {pt. 1}

So this is  love
Just hold me  close
I'll never  leave
I won't let  go

•••

PEACEFULLY San woke up this morning. In fact, the last five nights, he slept better than ever before. Since the day Wooyoung and he had talked to Yeosang everything felt even more complete. Yeosang had been true to his word and didn't tell anyone about their conversation and he and San were acting like the best friends and roommates they were, before Wooyoung came to live with them, again. After everything they had been through, Wooyoung now truly was the most considerate and affectionate boy San had ever laid eyes on. Every morning after waking up and every night before going to sleep San had a message from him and every time they crossed paths in the house he secretly touched, smiled at or hugged him. Of course there were only small opportunities to do so, since there were a lot of people in the house who could catch them, so the two of them took every chance they could to be alone or even to get out of the house.

They took turns volunteering to clean the kitchen, so the other could sneakily stay downstairs as well while the others all ran back into their rooms, they took turns taking out the trash, went grocery shopping or even walked the dog from the elderly neighbor. With the pocket money they got as a thank-you, they wanted to try more cafés and drink more hot chocolates with. Unfortunately, they still couldn't go to the Comic Café anymore, because it was too risky that someone would see them there and find out the truth after all. So instead of picking one special café again they tried two different ones these last few days and Wooyoung actually had the idea that they could even pick out a new one every time until they drank a hot chocolate in every café there was in this town. He even allowed San to make a list with ratings, even though his initial reaction was to twist his eyes, when San mentioned his notebook. San really wished it could be Christmas break forever, so they never had to stop drinking hot chocolates together.

San quickly jumped out of bed to push back the upcoming thoughts about what would happen after the break or even tomorrow or in one hour. At this moment it was just easier to think more about the here and now than about the future, because in their situation really everything could happen. San wasn't naive, he knew that very well, he just chose to take his chances. He may be a hopeless romantic, but what they had only happened once in a lifetime, and he would hold on to it with everything he had. It was also honestly really unfair to San that it was forbidden for them to have feelings for each other, because why? They weren't related. They weren't hurting anyone. They weren't doing anything wrong. They were just in love. San got furious when thinking about this, so he tried not to anymore. It didn't help to keep thinking about something that couldn't be changed anyway. All it did was make him so mad he could literally cry and break something at the same time. San closed his eyes while letting the cold water from the shower head run down his body. Instantly a smile made his way to his lips when he remembered last night.

Wooyoung had told him to come downstairs when everybody else was asleep, so they could have some time for themselves. When he was finally sure that truly everyone was knocked out, he had quietly made his way to the living room, only to find Wooyoung sleeping as well. He had fallen asleep on the couch while waiting for him. San couldn't get himself to wake him up, because the sight of Wooyoung laying there so peacefully was everything to him. For a while he had just sat next to the couch on the floor, so he could silently watch the boy sleep, while lovingly caressing his hair. At this moment he had been more jealous of Hongjoong than ever before, because his big brother could watch his boyfriend sleep whenever he wanted and for Wooyoung and San that just wasn't something that could just be normal. Wooyoung had called them special a few days ago, when San mentioned the things they couldn't do, but was it really special to not be able to do everything you wanted? For Wooyoung it probably was, because right now he had more than ever before, but it was hard for San to watch his brother have this perfect relationship right in front of his eyes and to not be able to have the same thing. While staring at his favorite boy in the whole world, San quickly forgot about the jealousy again though, and about everything they couldn't have. From going to Wooyoung not even speaking to him to now being the center of his universe, everything else didn't matter. What they had was enough, even when Choi San had to realize that over and over again. Just as long as they could be together in some kind of way, everything would be fine.