therapy / c.hood a.u. [ON HOLD]

two;

as soon as i pull into the driveway of my average sized abode, i turn my off car and stay sitting in my seat. i always hate coming home.

it's more of a personal problem than a known problem. you see, my mom brings home a different man every night. she is usually drunk of course.

here's the story, my parents got a divorce when i was ten years old due to my moms drinking problems. i lived with my dad for about seven years and last year on my eighteenth birthday he passed away. it was - sudden. since i lived under his roof i had to move all the way from seattle to florida and let me just tell you, the transition has not been easy at all. going from a rainy, peaceful, city life to a sunny, loud, beach life is not my cup of tea.

my mom was so excited to finally have both of her children in her life again; my brother aiden and me. up until five or so months ago, she was supportive with everything that had happened. i thought that maybe if i was able to create a bond with my own mother then maybe i would be ok. i guess that thought was silly because all she ever does now is tell me how i should change myself and the way i go about my life. she thinks i'm crazy just because i take medicine and since she reminds me so much, i've started to believe it.

my brother never visits anymore. he did for the first few months of my arrival but now he rarely stops by even just to say hi. because of that, i have this lingering thought that he doesn't care about us anymore.

he knows how i feel about this whole thing. he knows how much i loathe my mom, yet he left anyway. so of course he doesn't care. i mean i don't really blame him for leaving but that still doesn't make it ok.

i hope he stops by soon. especially since my birthday is next week. i don't think i'll be able to make it through the day without trying to drown myself in my own tears. july seventh. that's the day i was born, that's the day i fall asleep thinking about and wake up every morning dreading. that's the day my life was taken by some un heavenly god and crumpled to bits with one single move.

this year i turn nineteen. i graduated high school a few weeks ago and so much relief washed over me when i was handed my diploma. i got accepted into pennsylvania state but i ended up deciding that i don't have time for college. i started saving up when my parents got divorced. i would do chores around the house, and help my dad with yard work to earn an allowance. a few months before my junior year ended i decided on penn. state and applied. i got my acceptance letter last month and immediately counted all of my money, getting ready to send in the tuition but i realized how much more stress and mental instability i would be giving myself. i ended up getting a scholarship as well that would pay for a semester, but i still declined and got a job as a waitress instead. smart choice huh?

my mom flings open the front door and squints her eyes in my direction. she's wearing her "sex" robe. i get out of my car and walk up to the steps that lead the way to my porch.

"how was it?" she asks.

i just look at her and shrug. this is usual communication between us.

"did you take your medicine yet?" she raises an eyebrow. i'm shocked that she isn't even buzzed yet.

i shake my head and push past her, into the house. i hang my keys up and walk into the kitchen, my mother close behind. there's a guy looking through the fridge, and he looks my age. his shirt is off, exposing his toned muscles and he has a pair of baggy sweats on. as disgusted as i feel with my thoughts about my moms fling right now, i can't help but wish i were in her place.

"this is ashton." my mom informs me, pointing to the guy i had been daydreaming about. "i've been seeing him for a few weeks now and i wanted to talk to you about something to see how you feel."

explains why she's been out of the house much more frequently. she better not tell me that she wants this guy, that she barely even knows, to live with us. one, she could be his mom. two, it would just be one more thing that i have to deal with.

"hello." he greets me "you must be jessica."

"that's me." i quietly reply, filling a glass with water.

"jessi, ashton is going to being staying with us for a while." my mom tells me, using the one name she knows i hate.

"you've got to be kidding me." i slam my glass on the counter.

"what?" she frowns as i grab my medication from the cabinet.

"first off, do you even see him?" i practically shout before quickly swallowing two pills and sealing the cap back on the bottle. "he looks like he's young enough to be your son."

"i'm twenty one." ashton defends.

"exactly. he could be my boyfriend." i point out. they both look at one another before looking back at me. my mom gives me a stern look.

"look jesse, i know that you're still mourning over what you did to that asshole but that does not mean you can get what you want all of the time. ashton and i will continue this relationship for as long as we like." she firmly states.

i shake my head and let out a frustrated groan. "he wasn't an asshole. he was my fucking dad. i didn't purposely make that mistake mom. i think about that day every fucking night. call me crazy all you want but i will not let you talk about my father that way."

i walk past both of them, rushing into my room and slamming the door shut.

a/n:
hi there
how are u
im good
cool
aND YES IM MAKING ASHTON DADDY AF BC I NEED TO AND IDC WHAT U SAY D ENQKISME ITS GONNA KILL ME BUT WHATEVER
ok so i hope you like this and yeah

cal