therapy / c.hood a.u. [ON HOLD]

four;

it's finally the weekend and i don't have to go to therapy at all. i'm excited about that mainly so i don't have to deal with calum. he's been trying to get close to me and i keep letting him. i don't know what's gotten into me. i don't have a fever. i feel fine.

aiden called and cancelled on me last night. he didn't say much other then the fact that he's worried for himself. arrogant piece of shit brother.

i don't care though. i'll probably just visit my dad's grave and eat takeout by myself at the library until it gets dark. happy birthday to me.

last night i got mad at ashton so i slashed his tires. my mom yelled at me and i ignored her. ashton isn't mad for some reason. he told me he needed new tires anyways.

she won't allow me to go anywhere so she said if i wanted to see my friends they would have to come here. i don't know what friends she's talking about.

"jessica, someone is here to see you!" my mom calls. speak of the devil.

i groan and roll out of my bed. i walk into the living room to see calum standing there.

"oh, i think he's here for ashton. that's ashton's friend." i turn back around.

"no, jess i'm here to see you." calum states. i slowly turn back around and tilt my head.

"what for?" i ask.

"i wanna see how you're doing." he tells me.

my mom looks between us carefully before speaking. "you can hangout in your room jessica, just please keep a distance. you know how you get." she reminds me.

i roll my eyes before motioning for calum to follow me. we both sit in my room. he sits on my swivel chair and i sit on my bed.

he looks around my room at all of my posters, deciding to stand up and start touching things. i quickly slap his hand away from my shelf and he jumps back.

"ow. what was that for?" he asks.

"i'm sorry..it's an impulse." i step away and sit back on my bed. "sorry.." i mumble.

he doesn't continue. instead he sits beside me and looks at me questioningly. "you're so strange jess." he tells me.

"oh." i reply quietly and look at the floor.

"what's your story?" he asks.

my eyes snap up and i stare at him, debating on whether or not i should tell him the truth or my made up story. if i lied to him maybe he would think i'm normal and want to get to know me more.

but if i told him the truth, maybe it'd scare him away. that's exactly what i'm hoping.

"i used to live with my dad..because my parents split when i was ten." i begin. "and last year on my birthday my dad said that once i turned eighteen, he wanted me to check myself into a mental hospital for treatment."

"why?" calum asks.

"i used to throw knives across my kitchen when i was angry. my dad had to start locking all sharp objects in drawers." i admit. "i don't like saying i'm crazy so i hate when others say it. please don't think i am when i tell you this and know that i really don't know what came over me." i begin to panic so he puts his hand on my thigh.

"i promise." he tells me before removing his hand.

i take a deep breath.

"so the day of my eighteenth birthday when he handed me paperwork for then mental hospital, i hit him with his car while he went to get the mail. i hate him for thinking i'm crazy. i'm not crazy, i'm not crazy.." i trail off and begin to shake.

calum doesn't move or say anything. he just sits there for a moment, probably debating on whether or not he should bolt. i think he decides to stay because he wraps his arms around me.

"shhh, jessica you're not crazy i know." he tells me. liar. "stop crying, please." he begs.

i still shake but my tears soon stop. i'm shocked by his reaction. i want him to leave.

"please let go of me." i whimper.

"ok.." he slowly let's go and i begin to cry harder.

he doesn't say anything. he just watches me. i miss the way his arms were momentarily around me so i wrap my arms around him and sob into his black sweatshirt.

he rubs circles on my back until i stop crying. it takes a while but i finally get myself to calm down.

he wipes my eyes before i pull away.

"i'm sorry calum, you should l-leave." i stammer.

"i don't want to leave you alone like this." he tells me.

i look at him, confused.

why is he so stubborn.

why can't he leave.

i don't even know him that well.

i hate people.

"why do you care so much?" i ask "i-i mean for starters, you don't know anything about me besides my name and the fact that i killed my own father."

"i see through that though. you aren't how you see yourself, jess, you're so much more." he tells me.

"i could end up hurting you." i remind him.

"i hurt myself all of the time. you become numb after a while. now let me stay?" he begs.

i don't want him to leave. something about him makes me comfortable. he gives me a feeling like no one has. it's like every time i look at him, he just lights up the world. and i don't even know his last name.

-
a/n:
i hate myself for this but i mEAN WHAT ELSE IS CRAZIER THAN KILLING UR DAD AND THROWING KNIVES AROUND?!?!!!

nothing. nothing is crazier.

so yeah ik this kinda sucks but just roll with it so we can get to the good stuff quicker. i really have no clue how i'm gonna keep track of the dates and seasons and shit so pls if i make a mistake with any of that just let me know so i can edit it. thx.

btw calum is 19 now and idk how to feel like i hAVE MIXED EMOTIONS AND I JUST WANT TO ASCREAM BC HARRY IS 21 NOW AND EVERYONE IS GROWING UP TOO FAST AND I JUST WANT US TO ALL BE FIVE AND LIVE IN A CASTLE TOGETHER WITH RAINBOWS AND UNICORNS AND CANDY AND FAIRY DUST WITH HAPPINESS AND SUNSHINE BC THAT WOULD B NICE !!!!!!1

but yeah anyways, follow me on twitter @ acidicxh00d

cal