footnotes of the past.

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I think I broke myself again.

ONE: I do not need your forgiveness to die.

TWO: In no stage of my life have I wondered if anyone will ever ‘forgive’ me for death. In absolutely no stage of my life did I not already engrave into my bloodstream ‘I will never forgive you for this’, this of course being survival. I already lack forgiveness on my own personal behalf. You see as much as this shocked or still shocks you I will and won’t ever forgive myself for staying alive when all I wanted to do was unzip my veins and stare into the cuts that show the emptiness inside of me. I will never forgive myself for all the times I carried on breathing silently.

THREE: My lack of forgiveness towards myself is already engraved onto my veins. I don’t need your forgiveness in my bloodstream; you’re already in my veins.

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