A Beautiful Reflection From Firework Eyes

I Will Glow For You

I'm not sure what to do. I turn the problem over and over again in my mind as I sit on my bed, staring at the wall. How do I help Kellin through this? Is there any way I can? I'm not a mind reader—I don't know what he's thinking. I don't want to press him either—he's had a rough past, that's all I can tell. Still, I know if I don't do anything, it will only be worse for both of us.

"What is that?" Kellin asks.

"What?" I startle back to reality.

"What you're doing," he says. I realize I'm tapping my two fingers against my lips subconsciously.

"Oh," I stop. "It's something my family used to do. When we couldn't talk to each other, we'd tap our first two fingers against our lips to tell each other we loved each other. It comforts me, I guess."

"That's cool," he says. He mimes my action. "Like this?"

I can feel myself blushing. He's just miming what I'm doing, I scold myself. He's not actually—I shake my head. "Yeah," I do it back to him. "It was just a way for us to show we cared about each other."

"Well," he does the motion again. "I care about you."

I'm probably grinning like an idiot, but I do the same. "I care about you too."

"Do you miss home?" he asks suddenly.

"I miss my parents," I say. "And my little brother Mike. I never got to say goodbye to them. I went to find them once, and they were just gone." Still, to this day, I wonder what happened to them. I like to imagine that they ran away—that they're living on some tropical island or in some mansion somewhere. It's easier than facing the reality that they might be dead.

"What happened to them?" Kellin asks.

I shrug. "I'm not sure. It was like they never existed. What about you?"

"I miss my mom," he says. "Not my dad, though." His eyes quickly dart to me, as if to see how I'll react.

"Your nightmares?" I ask softly.

He shrugs, looking down at the ground as if it is the most exciting thing. "I don't like being alone," he mutters. "It just reminds me of him."

Maybe I'm just lonely. Or maybe my feelings for him are screwing with my logic. All I know is that I really want him next to me. So I throw caution to the wind. "Come here," I beckon him over to my bed. He hesitates, then climbs on the bed next to me as I lie down. It's probably too small for the two of us to share, but I'm okay with it. I shift, moving over, so Kellin has more room.

"You can come closer, you know," I feel like teasing him, just a bit. "I promise I don't bite."

Something glimmers in his eye as he shifts closer, but not close enough to. I don't know what comes over me, but I grab his arm, pulling him closer to me. He tenses for a second as I wrap my arms around him, feeling his heartbeat against my chest.

"Shh," I whisper to him, running my hand up and down his back. That does the trick. He relaxes, his head dropping onto the pillow beside me, letting his hand rest against my chest. "You're not alone. You have me."

"Thanks," he whispers. I watch him, every nerve in my body aware that he's pressed up against me. It's hard to relax as my heart thrums in my chest, the close contact making me blush. I'm surprised he doesn't notice.

I don't want to break the comfort between us, but I need to do this. I don't want to think about what Mr. Styles might do to him if I don't.

"Why do you think you can't use your powers?" I ask gently.

Kellin tenses beside me. "I don't know," he says. "I wish I could."

"Are you scared of using them?"

He opens his mouth to say something, then shuts it, looking thoughtful. "Maybe," he admits. "I'm not quite certain, though."

"You don't have to be scared of them," I reassure him. "They're part of you. That means they're beautiful."

He drops his gaze, avoiding my eyes. "I don't know how to control them," he whispers. "They just come and go."

"It's like that at first sometimes," I say. "I find it helpful to focus on my emotions or something I care about. It gets me through a lot."

"I don't really see a point." Kellin sounds frustrated. "They'll just hurt me again and again. It doesn't matter how good I get. Or they'll hurt other people for me to heal. That's how my powers work."

"It's gonna be okay," I say, but even I can hear my voice falter as I lie. It really isn't going to be okay. He's going to be hurt no matter what, and there's nothing I can do but worry.